Friday, October 26, 2012

Is this a sign of the apocalypse?

Before I get into my main story for the day, Henry came home from school yesterday all excited that he was going to be in a class play.

"It's about Blessed Saint Kateri, Mommy."

How precious is that? I'm so grateful that we can send him to Catholic school.

It's all awesomeness and light in that story, but yesterday evening had a darker, downright bizarre pall cast over it as well. We will once again accompany the Catholic Librarian as she goes about the mundane business of her daily life. (I'm just so glad that you're not totally bored by it all). Let us begin as I travel home from work...

I left work early to get a few things done around the house since my in-laws watch our kids Tuesday and Thursday afternoons while Mike teaches. Hence, I would have the house to myself for a short time. This doesn't happen very often.

I arrive home at 4 pm and park in the garage, like usual. I head into the house. I go about my business. At 4:50, I call my mother-in-law to let her know that I'm ready for the kids. She relays that Anne has just had a poo explosion so they will be slightly delayed by the cleanup process.

At approximately 5:15, Mike pulls in the driveway followed seconds later by my mother-in-law bearing the children. As I move through the kitchen I see Mike pause on his way out of the garage. He stares at a corner outside our garage and frowns. Immediately my worry meter goes into overdrive. What does he see? Home and car repairs are always hard on our budget when they come up, but this is the dilemma all families face, so we bear it bravely. But of course, I hope for them to be as infrequent as possible.

Suddenly, the side door bursts open:

"MOMMY!! There's a whole bunch of BEES right by your car!"

Mike comes in at a much more moderated pace behind Henry.

"Yes, there are bees, a lot of them, over by your car and the garbage tote."

Our village has the industrial totes with lids so that animals cannot get inside. This includes bees. Although I'm certain that no bee has ever lifted the lid of one of these giant garbage totes. But I digress. The point is that they really can't be hanging out around the garbage tote because a smell has gotten their attention. It's all locked up tight.


I don't wish bees any ill will. Bees are good. But I don't want them right near my house, within stinging distance of my children. I head to the window.

Sure enough, I spy a *large* swarm of bees hovering near the ground around and behind the garbage tote. Other stray bees are spiraling off in all directions from this centered hub of activity. I clutch Anne while Mike and my mother-in-law bravely go to investigate.

"They're mating on the fence. And they're building a nest." (or hive, or whatever).

Fantastic. I don't want anybody or anything mating right outside my side door.

"Don't worry."

He knows me so well.

"I'll spray out there a bit and they'll go away."

I didn't ask what exactly he was planning on spraying. The fewer questions asked the better. I just wanted the bees gone, and they appeared to be multiplying by the nanosecond. And the weird thing is that when I came home from work, barely an hour before, there was nary a yellow and black striped insect to be found. What the heck happened?!

Yesterday was unseasonably mild, as in *nearly 80 degrees*. Related? It's the only thing I can think of.

Mike goes out and sprays an insect deterrant thing near the center of their activity. He runs back to the side door, several angry bees traveling in his wake. We take up watch at the kitchen window.

"There's still a lot of bees out there."

"Don't worry. Let's eat dinner and then I'll go spray again."

We do such, me worrying the entire time. Mike goes back out.

There are STILL a lot of bees out there. This time, he moves the garbage tote to really get at their hot spot.

Let's just say they really didn't like that.

He sprays again, and this time, I did see a noticeable difference afterward. There were, however, STILL A LOT OF BEES OUT THERE. I have never experienced anything like this. It was just surreal.

One more spray session later, things seemed to have calmed down. I was meeting some girlfriends from college out for a drink, and I gave the area in question quite a large berth when I went out to my car later. I had this nightmare scene in my head in which a swarm of bees chase me to my car and a gaggle of them get in before I could close the door.

Right. That didn't happen.

Everything was totally quiet until this morning, when I went to leave for work. As I approached the garage, a few bees perked up and flew over to my car. Clearly, they were looking to initiate a smackdown in retaliation for their fallen comrades.

I realized that I was standing there staring at them with my passenger side door wide open as I stashed my bags inside. I hustled into the car.

I will admit that I actually paused to make sure that I couldn't hear any buzzing before I did anything further. The coast was clear.

As I backed out of the garage I could see a handful of bees buzzing about. One landed right on my windshield and glared at me menacingly. I stepped on the gas and thankfully he flew away.

I called Mike to let him know that we still had some company in the garage. I'm hoping that by the time I get home later, they will have vacated to another destination.

But seriously...CREEPY. We live in a very urban suburb, I have no idea why they would want to live at our house. I just hope they pack their bags and move along without further incident.

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