Is there a full moon?

For your reading enjoyment, below are actual inquiries that I received while on a one hour reference shift yesterday afternoon:

(1) Lengthy question about finding recent books on the topic of health services in colleges. No problem, and she was super sweet, she was just waiting for me when I came onto the desk, so I didn't have time to really catch my breath. Nor did I have time after I wrapped up with her (and she thanked me profusely! a rare treat for a reference librarian), when my chat reference window booped...

(2) "I need to find information on internet and the mind. I can't find anything. Just strange things from China." No, I am not exaggerating. As you can imagine, this was a fairly painful interaction, with me trying to pull out what in tarnation he actually meant, and where on earth he was searching. He lingered in my chat interface for quite some time, reluctantly trying the new key words I was suggesting, when...

(3) "My computer just shut itself down. Why did it do that?!" An angry man is suddenly *next to me*. I put up the cute "The Librarian is Busy Helping Somebody Else!"sign and went to his computer, but seriously. I wasn't there, I have no idea why his computer shut down. I return to the reference desk to find...

(4) "You're very pretty." I look up to see a strange guy winking at me. Oh boy. Please don't linger, please don't linger... Oh good, young student approaching...

(5) "I need a book on how to pick locks." Oh boy. I didn't ask questions. I mean, isn't there some kind of librarian honor code like a priest in confession? I certainly won't reveal his identity, and it isn't for me to judge why he needs a manual on how to pick locks. I referred him to the public library. They have all sorts of interesting reference manuals there...

Ah, the life of the modern reference librarian. It isn't usually this interesting.