Tea Time with Tiffany #18 - Confession!

Hi all! It's the feast of St. Therese, so I hope you're wearing pink or red today! :0 And leading up to her feast, I was in bad need of the Sacrament of Reconciliation. I stopped earlier this week, providing me with perfect fodder for:

In this episode, I talk confession, and why I find it so difficult to go sometimes. I also relate my experience this week, and the story involves a guardian angel lady and a very sweet ending, so I hope that you'll tune in! Caveat: something WONKY was going on with my web cam in this video, and can I be honest? I don't have the energy to re-record. :0 I am imperfect, and so are my videos. That's right, I MEANT to do this to further bring home my point about the need for confession. ;-) But my blue cowl takes on a mystical quality throughout and changes hues from light to darker. It's really quite distracting, my apologies. We'll just call it the Holy Spirit coming down to enlighten us and call it a day, yes?


Items mentioned in this episode:

• The Sacrament of Reconciliation! It's good for our souls. :)
• Confession app for Android. I'm not necessarily recommending it, since I've had technical difficulties with it, but it's a good concept. Then again, this is me. I have technical difficulties with *everything*, so maybe the problem is me?! :0 But I do love the included Examination of Conscience, it's very helpful.
• Happy feast of St. Therese! 

Do you have any confession experiences or tips to relate? Any upcoming novenas that you're looking to pray? Chime in!

How is your Easter season going?

Morning all! I have a busy work day today filled with meetings (let's all groan together in harmony, shall we?) so this will be somewhat brief, but I still wanted to touch base with everyone. I was listening to Monday Morning Catholic's Triduum episode on my commute in, and thus dwelling on our current place in the Easter octave, that is the eight days we celebrate a monumental feast such as this one...

Easter is a time of new beginnings, it seems that way to me every year. Everything feels fresh and new. The weather (hopefully; we still have some snow here, but the piles are getting smaller every day), new baby birds and animals, the return of flowers and green things, and the liturgy. We're singing the Gloria again, and saying "Alleluia" for the first time in what feels like forever. And fresh from a Lenten visit to the Sacrament of Reconciliation, we all feel revived in our spiritual lives. Hopefully. :)

The spiritual life is never predictable, no? I know this very well, as I'm sure you all do too. I did get to Confession this year, but there have been years where I planned to but didn't make it. Or maybe right after visiting the Sacrament, a spiritual struggle ensued over something you thought was long behind you. Or maybe you feel inexplicable spiritual dryness where just days before you felt vibrancy and renewal. It's never an easy thing, to be sure.

This Easter I'm reflecting back on my experiences during the Triduum with much gratitude. I'm so grateful that I was able to, for the first time, attend all of the liturgies. I'm certain there will be years where that does not happen for any number of reasons, but we do what we can. I enjoyed my experiences very much, and I love that I got to share each of them with someone else - Henry, Anne, Mike and my mother-in-law. It was truly beautiful.

Now, though, we're in Easter and I'm thinking: what's next? It's never boring, that's for sure. I'm excited to see what is to come. Anne's birthday is next month, and with her turning 4, and Henry turning 10 later this year, I feel like life has shifted a bit. Oh right, and I'm older too, yes? :0 It's a gentle shift, but there it is. Am I finally a grown up now? ;-) I feel responsible, but I don't always feel like a *grown up*. When I was Henry's age, and saw adults who are mine and Mike's age now, they seemed SO much older than we are, ha! In many ways, besides acquiring (please God!) a bit more wisdom and experience, I don't feel a whole lot different than when I was 20. But I know that I am different. I just don't feel older, if that makes any sense. But I'm happier, and just as excited for whatever lies ahead.

Those are my reflections early this Easter. How about you? As we embark on Easter season, what do you suspect or hope God has in store for you?

Have you gotten to Confession for Lent? :) and Worship Committee meeting tonight!

Morning all! It's a pretty rainy one here in WNY. Hey, maybe it'll melt more of the snow.

#win

BUT I have my first Worship Committee meeting tonight at 7 pm, and I'm super excited. I really don't know anything about this little endeavor, but that has deterred me not one bit. Ever since I discontinued as a catechist for the Children's Liturgy of the Word program (schedule conflict), I have been chomping at the bit for another opportunity to become involved at my parish. Lectoring really isn't an option with the kids, and religious education has the schedule concern, so I was really hoping for parish council or a committee or some sort. I work in academia, I am a pro at committee meetings. ;-)

In my six years at our parish, I have never once seen anything about an official council. I believe there is a finance committee, but...no thanks. :) Somebody's got to do it, to be sure, and I'm grateful for those who do, but that's not really an interest of mine. Liturgy? Yes, here we go.

So, we'll see how this works out. We have these books we're going to use that discuss every single Sunday and holy day of obligation within the liturgical year, and that's all I know. But books, Mass, liturgical year?! Those words make my heart sing. I'll report back in.

In other Lenten news, we are on the very heels of Easter at this point. How has it been going for you? For me, this has been a quietly lovely Lent. No grand visions, but on the other hand, no spiritual dryness. I have special plans for Holy Week, which I'll talk about tomorrow in 7 Quick Takes, Holy Week edition :), but in terms of the goals I made for this Lent, I'd say things went decently well. Rosary, Magnificat Lenten Companion, all good. Fasting from dessert, not TERRIBLE. I have not been perfect, but I have done a lot better with this than I ever have in previous Lents.

I did want to get to Confession this Lent, and on Tuesday I was able to cross that off my list, score! I don't know about you, but availing myself of the Sacrament of Reconciliation makes me very anxious. I know that that's silly, that this is a very freeing sacrament, and indeed, I feel that freedom the instant I leave the confessional, but still. I fret the entire time I examine my conscience, drive to the church, and wait in line. And the parish where I attend Confession (the one affiliated with Henry's school, the weekday afternoon timeslot just works better for me than the Saturday one offered at my own parish) *always* has a line. :0 Penitents just flock to this Confession session, for whatever reason. So then I'm standing around waiting and letting my anxiety marinate. I wouldn't say that I'm scrupulous, but I really beat myself up over things. And because of my inherently private nature, it's hard for me to share such details with another person, but I think this is a common struggle others have with Confession as well. So there you have it, but I went, and it was marvelous. And during Lent? It just feels even better than usual. So have you gone?! You should. :) You'll feel great afterward, and with Holy Week just days away, the graces of the sacrament couldn't come at a better time.

So. Lenten update. It's your turn now. :0 How's it going?!

Bravely battling my cold, & a touching experience at Confession...

Good day to you all. *weak smile* I appear to be in the full throes of this cold, but I'm focusing on the fact that I am super grateful to not have the flu. I'm feeling very run down and stuffy, and my voice is taking on that husky quality that my husband finds very appealing (*snorts*), so I'm hoping to make it thorough my work day unscathed, especially since I had to teach this morning. That went well, but I am DRAGGING. I had to turn my Introvert Who Needs To Act Like An Extrovert Energy Meter over to "Mega Watt!" so that I wouldn't wilt mid-class. It worked, but I'm feeling the aftereffects. Thankfully, my adorable Mike made dinner before he went to teach, so all I have to do is pop it into the oven when I get home. 

But today is Tuesday, which is the day that Confession is held at one of the parishes near our house, the parish affiliated with Henry's school, actually. And when I go to Confession, this is usually the session that I stop in for. At our home parish, Confession is offered on Saturdays and it just rarely works with whatever we have going on that day. Tuesday afternoon I can stop on my way home from work. And it's Lent. So I have confession on my mind.

Thus, I was thinking about the last time I stopped off for Confession, I think it was in December. I really wish my little Confession app kept track of the last date I attended, I don't think it does that?! IT NEEDS TO DO THAT. But I may be doing something wrong, wouldn't be the first time. ;-)

At any rate, I step into the church, dip my fingers into the holy water font, and as I go to cross myself...I see a large line positively *snaking* back from the confessional. And I, in selfish fashion, heave a long suffering sigh. I'm feeling rushy because I want to get home to Mike and the kids and was hoping for no line. But the last time I had tried to go to confession it had been cancelled, and so I really wanted to get in before Advent was over. So I tiptoed my way to the back of the line.

And there I waited. :) I waited so long that I actually started a rosary to use up some of the time. A few people ahead of me was an older man. When he came out of the confessional, hope sprung in my heart because then I was only a few spots away from having it be my turn. He made his way slightly behind where I was standing and knelt in a pew. Suddenly...

I could hear him talking. To God. :) And I hope that he doesn't mind me reproducing this here, but since he is a total stranger to me, and I don't even remember what he looks like, he couldn't possibly be more anonymous, so I think he would be OK with it. :) I wasn't eavesdropping; he was speaking audibly, and what I heard touched me so deeply:

"Lord, I'm trying not to sin. But please take the temptation away, Lord. You know I don't want to sin, but it's so difficult when I'm tempted."

I don't know (thankfully, because that's just between him and God) what exactly he was referring to, but it matters not. It could apply to pretty much anything, and let's just be honest: any one of us could be having this exact same discussion with God about a sin that we struggle with. I was just so moved by the honesty and vulnerability in his approach to prayer.

And thus I felt quite humbled when it was my turn to go into the confessional. Why was I in such a rush?  My focus was all wrong. Indeed, as my Confession experience was wrapping up, the priest reminded me to share my struggles with God and to just "talk to Him sometimes, like you would a friend." I thought of that older man again, and I have kept his example in my heart since that day.

I don't know that I'm going to end up stopping off at Confession again today (feeling pretty run down) but I will one Tuesday prior to Holy Week, for certain. And I'll think about my fellow penitent each time I go.

Have you ever felt particularly moved at Confession? Do share (with however much or little detail you feel comfortable with, of course) in the comments. :)

It's book club day tomorrow! The post won't be out until the afternoon since I'll be home with Anne and I need to blog when she naps. But I'm so excited to talk about this month's book!

Teeth & confession updates (oh joy) and Divine Mercy novena!

Hello! Happy Holy Thursday. :) I have to work the evening reference shift tonight, which I'm bummed about because it means that I can't attend Mass, but I'm persevering. It's going to be a LONG day to be sure.

However, it *is* the beginning of the Triduum, and I'm terribly excited. If the reference desk isn't busy, I may try and stream EWTN coverage of the pope's Mass or something, we'll see. :) And lots of good news to share! Let's see...

*settles in with tea*

Well, first, in secular news, I had one of two periodontal followups to check on my post-operative state. It went well. The tissue graft is looking awesome apparently, although I have to wait another 2 weeks to have any stitches that don't dissolve on their own clipped off. The roof of my mouth, however, is "looking sore," which I of course already knew, since it had been hurting like a *%$! :0 This roof wound was definitely tougher this time around. It is, though, healing, and yesterday for the first time I didn't wake up with it already bothering me and needing to take some ibuprofen. Today as well. I can feel definite improvement. They prescribed this special mouth rinse that will help the wound to heal faster. My honey is picking that up for me today, God bless him. I go back in 2 weeks, but I'm on the mend. The exterior bruising is also nearly completely faded.

So, that's that. After I finished with my appointment, I sped right over to confession. I could tell right away that my chances were good upon entering the church, because only a few other ladies were there. They were all waiting in a line, so I stepped behind them. We didn't move for a few minutes. I suddenly noticed a green light on above a confessional on the other side of the church. The lady ahead of me turns around:

"There's a confessional open over there. It's *just the screen* though."

She said that like it was a bad thing. :0 I much prefer using the screen rather than face-to-face, which is what they were all waiting for. I thanked her and hurried over, in and out of my screened confessional in a few minutes. I prayed for a spell and then got up to go. Those other ladies still hadn't moved. :0 That's the line I was in yesterday that didn't move. Must be a very detailed priest.

Pleased, I hustled out to my car so that I could drop off my prescription before going home for dinner, and I made it in plenty of time. Whew!

Before I go, I wanted to mention the next novena from Pray More Novenas.

I am *super* excited. I prayed this novena last year, and loved it. And this year it is leading up to the canonizations of John Paul II and John XXIII! What a beautiful day that will be. As you know, John Paul II is a personal and much beloved favorite of mine. So I will begin praying along tomorrow. If you sign up with Pray More Novenas, you will receive an email each morning with the prayers, and it is extremely convenient. I also like knowing that I'm praying along with others worldwide.

So, join in! All right everyone, back to work for me. I won't be blogging Good Friday or Easter Monday, but I will return to you Tuesday of the First Week of Easter bright eyed and ready to relay my Easter adventures. Until then!

Confession adventures as we approach the Triduum...

Happy Wednesday of Holy Week, everyone. :) Mine is going along swimmingly, how is yours? Well, swimmingly in that I feel very spiritually happy and content, although I did have a bit of a snafu attempting to get to confession late yesterday afternoon. Let us chronicle, no?

#Catholicproblems

I've been wanting to get to confession for AGES, and just kept putting it off. I've talked about my spiritual dryness on this blog of late, and that was a big part of the problem. I didn't feel right about going if I was really forcing myself to go. I didn't feel a true *desire* for the sacrament, you know? Since Palm Sunday, I have been feeling worlds better, and yesterday, for the first time in months, I truly desired to visit the sacrament. The parish affiliated with Henry's school has confession on Tuesday afternoons at 4 pm (I know, random, right?) and thus I made plans to leave work early so that I could go.

I park, head toward the church, and plot a few minutes of prayer in front of the tabernacle before I actually head to the confessional. I step inside the vestibule. Apparently, Holy Week brings out a blitz in the desire to seek confession, because at least a dozen people turned my way. This gave me pause. What were they all doing there?!

*gentle snort*

Usually, you can hear crickets chirping anytime you go to your parish for the weekly scheduled confession slot. At least at my parish. Not this time. I dipped my fingers into the holy water font and headed to a pew to pray, also figuring I could use the time to sort out my approach. Most of the others present were clumped up on one side of the church nearest to the confessional usually put to use by the pastor. I see him approach the confessional, go inside, and turn on the green light. Someone hustles over to get inside and immediately a huge line forms.

Ugh.

I was hoping this was going to be a quick affair, because yesterday night I was scheduled to make chili for dinner. Mike has play rehearsal every evening during the week, and the chili takes about an hour and a half to make. I needed to get it started to assure that we could eat, clean up, and take care of everything that needed doing before he had to leave. I was on a time crunch.

As I'm contemplating my next move, another priest enters the sanctuary. Huzzah! He goes into a confessional on the opposite side of the church, nearer to where I was praying. I feel triumphant. As I stand up, however, several older men from the other line start to zip over to shorten their wait time. And by "zip over" I mean they hobbled with their canes as fast as their legs would carry them. It just felt wrong to rush over and get ahead of them. So I waited until they made their way over toward confessional #2. Another lady slips into line as I walk over.

As I step into line behind her, something happens that has never happened in all of my Catholic years. Someone was in the face-to-face side of the confessional, and hence the red light was on. One of the zipping older men apparently does not notice this and swings open the door to the screened side. The lady ahead of me calls out a warning to him, which he also does not hear. He closes the door and apparently gets comfortable in there. :0

We all stand there, not really knowing what to do. A few moments later, the well-intentioned interloper emerges, clued in by the priest, assumedly. He waits *right outside* the confessional door. The rest of us wait in line awkwardly.

By this point of the action, I'm getting antsy. I'm worried about getting dinner started on time, and there are now 3 people ahead of me, plus the person currently in the confessional. I glance at the other line. They have moved a tad, but the line still snakes like a leviathan. Penitents seem to have multiplied exponentially over on that side of the church. I glance up at the clock. It's now nearly 4:15, and face-to-face guy is apparently having a lengthy and intense conversation with the priest. We haven't moved an inch.

I wait about 5 more minutes, and make the difficult decision to step out of line. Confession just wasn't happening yesterday, as much as I would have liked it to. I hurried home to get the chili going, and we were able to get everyone fed and cleaned up before Mike had to leave, but we didn't exactly have any down time in there. I made the right decision.

When I called that church yesterday to make sure the confession time was the same, the parish secretary told me that they were also offering confession today from 4-6. I have an appointment with the periodontist at 3:30, so I'm hoping to stop on my way home (again :)). Mike is home on Wednesdays and is making dinner for us tonight, so I won't have the time crunch situation. Here's hoping.

Has anyone else gone to confession this Holy Week? Leave me a comment. *beams*

Fifth Sunday of Lent and battles with spiritual dryness...

Lent is absolutely flying by, no? This Lent has been different for me in that my spiritual dryness (mentioned previously here) really hasn't abated, and the sticking to my Lenten resolutions has seemed to go more poorly than usual. :0 I do, however, at this stage of my life, have confidence in the method of just plugging ahead. Things always turn around, they just do. Whether it be that the situation actually changes or just that your response to it does. I have experienced this in many arenas of my life, including the spiritual realm. It's all good.

So I've been plugging ahead in my Lent, recognizing that a huge component of this is seeking out the sacrament of reconciliation. It's not like I have something major to confess, but I haven't been in many months, and that always takes a toll, whether you see it or not. And I don't even know WHY I'm procrastinating on this. I have this weird love/hate relationship with confession. I always dread it, despite how fantastic I feel after going. This seems to be a common struggle for Catholics.

And so going to Mass lately hasn't brought me the spiritual serenity it used to. Like I mentioned though, I persist, because it's the right thing to do. Plus, I need to set the right example for my children, despite their being the reason why I often don't get as much out of Mass as I'd like to. :0 It's hard to focus on Mass when you have these little people demanding your attention all of the time. Exhibit A, which occurs weekly:

*innocently reads missal*

"Mommy. Mommy. MOMMY. I have to use the potty!"

"You have a diaper on sweetie, you can just go."

"What?!" *scandalized look* "No, Anne can't. I have to use the big potty, Mommy! I have to GO PEE!"

Naturally, none of this takes place as quietly as I'd like it to.

However, I'm pleased to report that yesterday morning, I woke up excited to go to Mass. It's not that I've been dreading Mass, I just dread the exhaustion the children can bring to the experience. But yesterday, something was different. Nothing was at all different in terms of my responsibilities at Mass itself. Infighting during the coat and shoe putting-on process, a whiny ride in the car, Anne "needing" to use the potty the instant the opening hymn fades away, Henry annoying Anne, Anne annoying Henry, Anne wanting to dance out in the aisle, Anne loudly dropping her sippy cup...All of that still happened. But suddenly I felt soothed and happy to be at Mass again, despite all of these distractions. I felt excited to bust out my Magnificat to follow along, even though I knew the chances of it staying out with Anne in my charge were unlikely.

The sun was out during our drive, the wind finally didn't hold the bite of this past winter. Henry read cutely along in his own missal for the readings. Anne was well behaved. After Mass, Henry asked to light a candle, and I gave him the go ahead to get one of the big guns (i.e. the large size that will burn for 7 days) to pray for his intentions with his First Communion coming up in exactly one month.

It was lovely. And I was thinking that even at this late date in Lent, with Holy Week slated to begin next Sunday, it's not too late to get back on the horse. If you've stopped doing one of your resolutions, pick it back up now. It will make for a really meaningful Holy Week

Later Sunday afternoon, Hank and I broke out the kit to make his First Communion banner, a requirement of his religious education class. For someone who regularly hot glues her fingers together, this was sure to be a challenge. How did it go? Tune back in tomorrow. :)

The Catholic Nook: Confession

I've written a little bit about Confession before, but never any in-depth treatment, and since I actually received the sacrament this week, I thought the timing was perfect. :)

As I mentioned in the link I pasted in above, Confession is definitely one of the lesser understood of the seven sacraments, by both Catholics and non-Catholics alike.  Let's start with definitions and a description from the Catechism, and then we can move on to personal experiences (my favorite!).

Confession is more properly called the Sacrament of Penance and Reconciliation. In paragraph 1422, the Catechism tells us that when we approach the sacrament we are looking to "...obtain pardon from God's mercy for the offense committed against him, and [we] are, at the same time, reconciled with the Church which [we] have wounded by [our]sins and which by charity, by example, and by prayer labors for [our]conversion."

The Catechism then discusses the different ways Confession may be described, and it's quite lovely [paragraphs 1423 and 1424]..

"It is called the sacrament of conversion because it makes sacramentally present Jesus' call to conversion, the first step in returning to the Father from whom one has strayed by sin."

"It is called the sacrament of Penance, since it consecrates the Christian sinner's personal and ecclesial steps of conversion, penance, and satisfaction."

"It is called the sacrament of confession, since the disclosure or confession of sins to a priest is an essential element of this sacrament. In a profound sense it is also a "confession" - acknowledgement and praise - of the holiness of God and of his mercy toward sinful man."

"It is called the sacrament of forgiveness, since by the priest's sacramental absolution God grants the penitent 'pardon and peace.'"

"It is called the sacrament of Reconciliation, because it imparts to the sinner the love of God who reconciles...He who lives by God's merciful love is ready to respond to the Lord's call..."

Often, I think Confession is seen as an embarrassing waste of time. "Why should I have to tell my sins to a priest, when I can just do that directly to God?!" I'm going to be honest: I used to think that too.

But I have come to realize that this sacrament offers SO much more than that. Let's go through each of the above points with regard to Yours Truly.

Sacrament of Conversion - We are all called to conversion throughout our lives, this is not a one-time deal. And when we go astray, it's SO easy to rationalize that this isn't such a bad thing. "Why should I feel guilty about this? It's not so bad/everybody else is going it/it makes me happy, and so what's wrong with *that*?!" We allow ourselves to blame the Church, "Catholic guilt!!" instead of blaming ourselves. Sin drives a wedge in our relationship with God, and we *should* feel guilty about that and about what we have done to cause that. It doesn't mean that we should torture ourselves over it, we're human and we *will* sin no matter how hard we try not to, but we need to grow enough in our faith that we recognize what we're doing wrong and how we need help dealing with it. By going to Confession, we're acknowledging that we recognize what we've done to sin and we're asking for God's help in doing better.

Sacrament of Penance - By going to the church and to the priest/confessional, we're physically moving towards our goal of cleansing ourselves of sin and reconciling ourselves to the Church. It's easy to just wing up a prayer while sitting at our desks at home: "I know you forgive me, thank you God." But getting in our car, driving to the church, waiting to speak to the priest, kneeling down and making ourselves vulnerable...this all takes effort. It takes perseverance. It takes courage. :)

Sacrament of Confession - Speaking of courage...yeeaahhh, I know it's unpleasant to air your dirty laundry in front of some guy you may not know very well. It's embarrassing, it's uncomfortable, it's humbling, it's all of that stuff. But does it act as a major discourager from committing that sin again and then having to go BACK to your friend the priest to tell him all about it? You betcha.

Sacrament of Forgiveness - I know that I *feel* God's forgiveness when the priest prays the prayer of absolution over me. Having another person verbalize that forgiveness to you has power.

Sacrament of Reconciliation - Having gone through the whole experience of a confession, I can say that yes, the sacrament *imparts* something very real, that you have been forgiven and are reconciled in your relationship to God and to the Church. You just feel different when you step out of that confessional.

And so we have yesterday. I stopped at home to fetch young Henry and off we drove to Confession. Our arrival was heralded by the inevitable 3 little old ladies that are present at every offering of Confession. I wanted to examine my conscience and Henry wanted to bounce around the church and look at the statues. I told him he could do that afterwards, and so he got in line ahead of me. While he was in there I could hear his little voice mingling with the deeper voice of the priest, which was very sweet. :)  In a few minutes, Henry came out and slipped into a pew to say his prayers, and it was my turn.

I always feel a little awkward at the start of confession, and at this parish the screened side of the confessional is real dark (it's not at my regular parish, which has a seat in there with full lighting and the Act of Contrition taped up on the wall :)). Therefore, I managed to kick the kneeler by mistake, making a bunch of noise and hurting my toe. This is not unusual for me, your resident Klutz.

When I knelt down, the priest had a very sweet welcoming message before I even said anything. That set a very nice tone. :) I told him how long it had been since my last confession and away we went. I gave him my carefully prepared litany of sins and he listened quietly. When I finished, he provided a few words about pertinent Scripture and assured me soothingly. I said my Act of Contrition. Then he prayed the prayer of absolution which is always the highlight of every confession for me. And then I was done! But not before losing my purse in the dark and having to grope around for it.

When I got out a little old lady took my place in the confessional and Henry was nowhere to be found. After I prayed for a few minutes I located him poking around on a side alter, he's precious.

And so there you have it. Not so painful, truly. Catholics are obliged to avail themselves of this sacrament at least once per year. And yes, there have been years where I have just done the minimum. But in recent years I have done better. If it's been 3 months since I've gone, I really prioritize it. And let me tell you, you WILL notice a difference in your spiritual life if you go to Confession more frequently, it's just a fact.

Happy vigil of the Feast of the Assumption everybody. :) And if you haven't been to Confession in quite some time...consider going! You won't regret it.

First confession weekend

On Saturday, Mike and I accompanied Henry to his First Confession celebration, which was just precious. The weather was simply gorgeous for it this weekend. I love spring. I actually don't love summer, but sunny spring days are fabulous. The air is just so fresh and crisp. We left Anne with her grandparents to just give Henry our attention on his big day and arrived at the church just before the 11 am start time.

There were a lot of people there, and a buzz of excitement and anxiety permeated the sanctuary. :) Henry sat with us as things got started with a hymn. Then the children were called up by name to the altar and the priest spent some time with them talking about Jesus the Good Shepherd. The kids sang a few songs (this was Henry's dreaded time, but he did just fine). The whole time, I felt giddy. The parish we were at for the ceremony actually isn't the one I belong to, it's the one affiliated with Henry's school. And I feel very close to my parish family. Here, however, I felt close to the universal Church. In countless other parishes around the world, children are making their First Confession in a ceremony just like this one, and have done so for generations. It was a Power Catholic moment, and I just felt so happy and proud to be part of the Church.

When the songs were done, we were given instructions for how the actual confessing would proceed. Four priests were present to hear confessions, and they wanted to meet each child, so confession would be face-to-face (Henry also wasn't crazy about this, but I told him it was no big deal, he could use the screen after that whenever he wanted). A parent could accompany their child up to the confessional to meet the priest, then the child would go in for confession. After that, they all had a cotton ball lamb with their name on it to affix to a tapestry on the altar (couldn't you just die?!) and would receive their certificate of First Reconciliation.

I agreed to go with Hank, and he wanted to go to one of the priests near the front of the church. We headed right up, me feeling excited that we would be one of the first in line. As we were waiting, we made a discovery: this particular priest wasn't using the confessional; he had set up 2 chairs outside of the small side altar and was doing the confessions right there in the open. None of us could hear anything since we were tucked back, but Henry was freaked out.

"I WANT TO GO IN THE CONFESSIONAL MOMMY."

Sigh, so we lost our place in line and proceeded to a line for a priest in the regular confessional. We waited. And waited. I don't think the 7 year olds were taking that long to confess their sins, I think the priest were just spending extra time with them, since it was their first confession. We fidgeted. Finally, it was Henry's turn. The confessional door opens and out comes this ancient priest. He held the door open with wobbly countenance and we approached. He asked Henry his name and introduced himself to both of us. Then he carefully shepherded Henry inside and that was that. It was quite adorable. Mike and I set up shop in a pew nearby awaiting Henry's return.

About five minutes later our patience was rewarded. Henry came out, beaming. I hustled him over and asked about his penance. He said that the priest told him to say one Hail Mary for the priests electing the next pope this week in the Conclave. Love! We said the prayer together, then he went up to affix his lamb.

We received a very nice certificate noting the date and location of his First Reconciliation. I have all of the kids sacramental paperwork in a folder that we keep with other important papers. After that was all done, we took Henry out to lunch.

It was a really, really nice afternoon. And now I'm about ready to jump out of my skin with excited anticipation of the Conclave.

CONCLAVE! And, Henry's first confession

I got the breaking news while I was on the reference desk that the Conclave has been officially set to begin on Tuesday. I immediately wanted to navigate over here to this blog, but imagine this, I was commandeered by an absolute *onslaught* of panicking students needing things to take home with them over spring break. That and a community patron who had an index card full of chicken scratch that he wanted me to painstakingly interpret with him for about 30 minutes.

*long suffering sigh*

I was *dying* to read the Catholic news and get to my blog. So here I am. What a perfect week, spring break! Things will be quieter at work and I can stalk Sistine Chapel chimney web cams and pertinent Twitter feeds. SO EXCITED.

In related Catholic news, tomorrow Henry receives the Sacrament of Reconciliation for the first time. :) Mike and I are both accompanying him to the church, and we're taking him out for lunch afterwards.

He already has his new rosary that I got him partly in commemoration of this event, I gave them to him on the eve of Lent so that he could pray with them each night and so far we've made every single night except when I'm out of the house at his bedtime, usually Friday night belly dance class. He's been very cute about it. His Act of Contrition is all memorized and we've talked about the how-to's and why's of confession several times. We even looked at a confessional together one day after Mass.

He still seems a bit nervous about the whole thing, and insists that the teacher told him at "confession practice" that they had to use the face-to-face side, not the screen, which I find somewhat hard to believe, but we'll see tomorrow I suppose. The kids are apparently also presenting an opening program in which they sing a few sacred songs, a piece of the puzzle that Henry is not very happy about.

"I can't sing good, Mommy."

Well, neither can I, so I sympathize with that. Our family is not blessed with vocal abilities.

So, it's a very nice occasion and I'm looking forward to it. It's the first sacrament either of our children will have received other than baptism. I wish they still did First Communion in second grade, like when I was a little girl, but that's changed, at least in this diocese. We made our first confession right aorund now, like Henry is, but then we did First Communion right in May of the same year. Henry won't make his First Communion until a year from May. A pity. It's actually tough to bring him with me in the communion line now because he looks old enough to receive and the Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion keep trying to give it to him. I have to intervene each time. :)

So, a big sacrament day for Henry tomorrow. I'm just hoping to have a restful and non-tantrum filled weekend. Yes, that would be referring to Anne not myself, but I confess that sometimes in the middle of the night I have weak moments. Last night was epic, but I'm actually in a pretty good mood despite that. We'll get there.

Next week is going to be major. Let us all catch our breath now.

What kind of Catholic are you if you...go to *confession*?

Mike and I had an interesting discussion last night. He happened to mention to a family member (also Catholic) that he was picking up a book for me at the public library so that I had time to stop off and go to confession on my way home, since the parish where Hank goes to school has confession on Tuesday afternoons (odd, but true). He said that the family member looked quite surprised and said:

"Tiffany is going to confession? *Why would she need to do THAT?!* I don't believe in confession."

In the conversation that ensued, the family member also mentioned that she doesn't believe in papal infallibility, or the true presence of Christ in the Eucharist.

So this got me to thinking. It does seem to me that often, Catholics who regularly go to confession are viewed with suspicion:

(1) What on earth do they do so horrible that they need to confess it so often?!

Or incredulity:

(2) They go to confession? In one of those creepy little wood boxes with a priest? FREAKS.

I don't mean to imply that all people who are averse to the idea of confession are mean spirited, certainly not. But in my opinion, the sacrament of reconciliation is the least understood, by both Catholics and non-Catholics alike. And it's definitely underused.

So, as Mike and I were talking, he gave me his analysis:

"I told her that you shouldn't be a Catholic just because that's what you've always done. If you don't believe in the major tenets of the faith, it's not right to call yourself a Catholic and badmouth it's main beliefs. She should realize what I've thought she was for a long time now: an Episcopalian."

I had to laugh at that. :) I mean, I appreciate what he's saying. You should align yourself with a religious faith because you believe it to be the truth and take pride in it. Your faith should be your own and not simply something you call yourself because you never really thought too deeply about it. And if you feel very strongly that you cannot accept certain teachings of that church, maybe a different worship community is right for you.

But on the other hand...what about healthy doubt? We're not all robots without minds of our own to think things through and analyze them. And what if you're struggling with a particular teaching, but you continue to study and to pray about it? Certainly, there's a place for you in the Church. I wouldn't want it any other way. But where does that line come into play that a person, via their words and actions, actually disengages themselves from the Church? This family member attends Mass every Sunday. That to me says that she feels strongly about her Catholic identity.

So...what makes a person a Catholic? It certainly isn't up to me to decide the answer to this question, but I think it's interesting to ponder. I certainly don't like conversations that deteriorate into what makes a person a "good" or a "bad" Catholic. None of us is perfect, and all one can ever do is try their best to live out the faith and be a good example.

Confession was awesome, by the way. And this parish actually had *2* priests hearing confessions, practically unheard of nowadays. And a decent number of people came and went. I always feel so good after I go to confession. It can be intimidating, but it certainly is cleansing.

Food for thought. :)

Confession on your iPhone?

So, this week on my Facebook news feed, I saw several posts about this new confession app for the iPhone. At first, I have to admit, I was skeptical. :) The way that the headlines were written made it sound as if the Church had approved a way for people to actually *attend* the sacrament of reconciliation via their phone. This is of course, not the case.

The app is a confession preparation tool, and I learned more about it on this week's Catholic Moments podcast. The designers are devout Catholics, and created it in response to Pope Benedict's call for Catholics to evangelize via new media tools. The app has customized examinations of conscience for all age groups and vocations, and includes the traditional confession prayers to assist those that may have been away from the sacrament for some time. They applied for, and received an imprimatur from their local bishop. I definitely softened toward it once I learned more about it.

This got me to thinking on my way into work this morning as I finished up listening to the podcast: have we veered too far away from a "simple faith?" With all of my fascination with Amish fiction, this issue is often on my mind, and certainly, this is only my opinion. One of our Church's strengths is the diversity that it promotes it expression of faith and worship. I happen to veer more toward a conservative, traditional appreciation of the faith, but there are others that are fed from a different expression of our faith. We all fall under the umbrella of our Catholic Church, and I think that's an important caveat.

For me, I do not have a smartphone, nor do I desire one. I do have a cell phone, and I do have a texting plan, because I find that it is a fun and easy way to keep in touch with my mom and sisters on quick little issues. I keep a cell phone because I do think it's important for me to be able to get in touch with someone if I'm traveling alone and need immediate assistance. But those are the only uses I have for my phone. I often forget to turn it on for days at a time. :)

I don't want to use the Internet on my phone. Why? Because when I am at home, I want to feel "set apart from the world." I don't need to look up things right at that instant. I have Internet access right in my face all day at work, I can wait until then. I also don't want to play games on it, or interact with the device in any way. When I'm at home, I want to focus on my family, and when I have some free time, I enjoy reading and crocheting/knitting. Mike and I do watch television, but to be honest, we really don't watch all that much of it. I'm certainly not criticizing anybody that does any of these things. Everyone enjoys different things, it's totally personal preference.

But I will say this: the Catholic Librarian's *biggest pet peeve of all time* is the following: you are sitting with a real, live human being in front of you, and yet you pull out your phone and start doing something with it. I don't mean, "oh, I'm expecting word from my son, would you excuse me for a moment?" or, we're talking about something specific, and the person offers to look it up on their smartphone on behalf of both of us. I mean, people who just completely disregard regular human interaction to become immersed in their personal electronic device. I honestly think this is self-absorption at it's worst, and is dangerous to our very human need for personal communication.

That was a bit rambly, but it comes down to a very thought-provoking point: Are we really better off now that we have these tools at our disposal? Regardless of how you feel, it's a fascinating inquiry, and I acknowledge that there bound to be many viewpoints on this, all with valid arguments. Just something to think about.

I have to admit, sometimes I daydream and imagine Mike and I living on a farm with no electricity. :0 I honestly think that we'd both manage it ok and would likely enjoy it. But would it be nearly so romantic as in my daydreams? Certainly not. There's the ...farm animals factor. This involves lots of critter poo and slaughterhouse implications. Not so idyllic. But maybe someday we won't have a tv anymore. I could actually see that potentially happening. Or at least, us not subscribing to satellite/advanced cable any longer. In the past we talked about just getting basic cable and subscribing to satellite radio. Interesting stuff, no? Things to think about heading into the weekend... :)