Returning to mass, and navigating a heat wave...

Hello all and happy Friday! I've had a week full of actual STUFF, shocking, I know. :-0 And I thought I would fill you in. Grab your coffee!

Yes, I'm still drinking coffee despite it being a thousand degrees here for the past week. OK, maybe not *quite* that hot, but it feels quite close to that. I live in a mostly cold weather climate, and thus a lot of people here do not have centrally air conditioned homes, including us. So heat is very unpleasant. And this week, we've set a record: 7 days in a row so far (today projected to be the 8th) of temperatures exceeding 90 degrees Farenheit, with yesterday topping out the week at 98. Around here, that might as well be the Surface of the Sun. 😂 We are blessed to have window a/c units for our bedrooms, though not for the rest of the house. Taking my dance and fitnes classes in our home office has been occasion of melting for me this week. It's kept things interesting, to be sure. We've actually fared pretty well until yesterday, when everyone just felt lethargic and vaugely ill all day. We've taken the kids out to places that do have a/c: the public library, local coffee shop, and also on a wooded hike to look for birds. It's actually been quite lovely in it's own way. A summer family adventure!

In other big news, I went back to mass for the first time since the pandemic started (nearly 4 months)! I went to the vigil mass, figuring it would be a pretty small turnout to test the waters, and I was right: even counting Father, 2 ushers and the music minister, there were 26 people present. And our church is HUGE. The restrictions were pretty much what I expected, and I think all are prudent at this time. In my personal opinion, I would rather have less tape on the floor and pews (I can ascertain how to stay physically distant from others without it) but I suppose I can see the other side of this, that the parish wants to assure they are doing absolutely everything they can. Everyone was wearing a mask, which is the proper course of things right now, and very doable for an hour.

After I sat down, I excitedly paged through my new missal and got the ribbons all situated. I had heard that some churches were not letting you bring in your own missal (and the paper missalettes are all removed from the pews, I think this is pretty standard everywhere right now), and I was going to be sad if that was the case for me, because I thrive in being able to follow along visually with the readings and prayers. Happily, bringing your own missal was not an issue at my parish.

Isn't it beautiful?! I set up my ribbons for the prayers of the liturgy and the readings of the day, one just to keep track of those wily Prefaces, one for the calendar, and the last one for the Proper of Saints. I was IN LOVE. I've subscribed to magazines like Magnificat and Living with Christ for as long as I can remember, or I've had the small annual St. Joseph's Sunday missal. This is my first daily missal, and it's sheer heft excites me. 😁

So, mass started, and while everything feels a bit awkward with the necessary restrictions, it was very, very beautiful. Receiving the Eucharist again for the first time in nearly 100 days was...emotional. I haven't gone without receiving for that long since I fell away from my faith in graduate school (and that was 2 decades ago!). The only part I didn't love was that we were rushed out of our pews to comply with the one-way markings for dismissal. When it was your pew's turn to leave, you literally had to leave, no lingering to pray for a few extra minutes. :-0 I could have lived without that, but nothing is perfect, and the parish is just doing the best they can to hold public masses while complying with necessary public health precautions.

I didn't bring the kids. I wanted to scope things out a bit on my own so that I can tell them what to expect. I'm also going to be honest and say that it's not going to be easy to drag them back to mass after not going for all of these months. They are at ages where "church is boring," and I get it, as that's exactly how I felt, too, when I was their age. So I'm working on that. I'm undecided as to whether I'll bring them this Saturday, or wait until next weekend. But we *finally* got word about First Communion, and Anne will be making hers on August 2nd!! I'm SO EXCITED, and so is she. I'm planning to use the weeks leading up to this to share tidbits with her about receiving to try and stoke her hunger to receive Jesus, and hopefully this will lead to a softening about attending mass again.

I've also been trying to keep my spiritual spirits up by delighting in my new St. Dymphna rosary!

Rosaries by Allison on Etsy

Isn't it beautiful? St. Dymphna is the patron saint of those suffering from anxiety and depression. St. Dymphna, please pray for us! In your charity, please keep my kids in your prayers that the Lord will light a fire in their hearts for their faith. Thank you!

Have you returned to in-person mass? If not, how is your experience going with the streaming mass options? How are you holding up in the July heat? I'd love to hear from you in the comments!

During a tough season, the rosary has been a soothing balm...

Rosaries by Allison

So, I've been going through a period of spiritual dryness. It's been going on for quite some time, come to think. I had a brief respite in the late summer, but then as the dance competition loomed closer and the kids started back to school, I fell off doing the small bit of daily prayer that I had worked back into my routine, and things deteriorated once again. They weren't terrible, I still felt comfort from my faith and from going to Mass on Sundays, but that richness was lacking. It felt like I was trying to do everything myself, rather than letting God in to help me. The more that I was worried about (and the items piled up especially as September unfolded) the less I would seek out God. I knew He was there, but I had a difficult time asking for help.

About a week ago, my sister asked me about starting a daily challenge to pray a full rosary. I haven't prayed a full rosary in two years, and do you want to know why? Because of my car. I used to always pray the rosary in my car.

In September 2017, I had to replace my aged Honda Civic, and I wound up getting a 2017 Honda Fit that had a stick shift. I didn't know how to drive a stick shift, and thus I learned how. It was not easy, but I got it. However, the newness of the experience made me reluctant to give my hands something else to worry about when they were now so busy simply making the car go. And so for 2 years, I have not prayed a rosary with all 5 decades!

Shauna'h's query got me to thinking: I've been driving a stick now for 2 years, and I'm quite good at it. I also, of course, live in North America, and so I'm shifting with my right hand. My left hand is pretty passive, even when driving the stick. So last Friday, I got out my gorgeous new St. Jerome rosary and took it for a spin. I could easily keep count on the rosary tucked in my left hand while it was also placed on the steering wheel doing what it needed to do. I prayed half on my way into work, and half on my way home. I finished the entire rosary, with no impact on my driving the car.

Since then, I had prayed a full rosary every single day. Oftentimes in the car, but also before mass starts or in other spots throughout my day. I tend to not finish praying a rosary in a single sitting, but this works well for me with my contantly-on-overdrive brain.

I've noticed my anxiety abating a bit. I'm also feeling more positive about things that were previously eating me up inside. I look forward to getting into my car and going to work (where things have been quite stressful with teaching) so that I can have that quiet interior prayer time. I'm loving it.

It's really helped. And I'm hoping to keep it up. I know that sometimes I'll miss a day, things happen, and we're human. But the perseverence is what I need, especially as we move closer to Advent and the holiday season.

Do you have a daily rosary habit? Where do you pray it? I'd love to hear about it in the comments!

When you find it difficult to have faith...

I hope that the title of this post doesn't sound too dramatic (I bandied about with several different options before settling on this one), but I think that when you have a blog, it's important to be honest. That's what makes the content compelling, and that's what builds trust and community. I always keep it real here at Life of a Catholic Librarian, so this week I decided to write about the struggle I'm having right now. Of course, this isn't about ME at all, it's about a crisis in our Church (including my own diocese), but it has set off an emotional buildup within myself, to be sure.

I don't often refer to current events here in my posts, but this is one of those times wherein one simply has to. In my lifetime of being a Catholic, I've never felt the way that I do right now. I'm not going to leave the Church, but in all honesty, it hurts right now. It rather hurts my heart to be Catholic. I feel deeply upset at the way some of our spiritual leaders have abused their power and physically and emotionally abused others, both children and adults. It is quite easy for a person to think: "How can this be Christ's Church? How can I stay here?"

I know. I do.

I don't have any answers. I'm just trusting that given that it *is* Christ's Church (I firmly believe this), He will make all things new, and bring some good out of all this evil. We humans tend to screw things up royally, and need God to guide us. We need that more than ever right now.

When I went to Mass this weekend, I have to admit that I was feeling pretty low, based upon all of the above. And I did not have the best experience. Remember that whole bringing-up-the-gifts-too-early-debacle I detailed about a month ago? Well, I was once again back at the 8 am Mass because Henry was serving. This time, Anne was with me. That same sweet usher was looking for volunteers again, and this time, Anne eagerly volunteered us.

😳

I mean, I like helping out, I'm just not my most awake and with it at 8 am on Sunday morning. So I was extra vigilant, keeping an eye on the ushers as they collected the envelopes, and then waited for them to definitely process up the aisle, bound for the small table with the gifts, before Anne and I got up to join them. Everything went great, and Anne bowed to the altar just like I taught her. I reflected on the Gospel reading after communion (which was right on point, btw. In fact, let's pop it in here):

"Many of Jesus' disciples who were listening said, 'This saying is hard; who can accept it?' Since Jesus knew that his disciples were murmuring about this, he said to them, 'Does this shock you? What if you were to see the Son of Man ascending to where he was before? It is the spirit that gives life, while the flesh is of no avail. The words I have spoken to you are Spirit and life. But there are some of you who do not believe.'...As a result of this, many of his disciples returned to their former way of life and no longer accompanied him. Jesus then said to the Twelve: 'Do you also want to leave?' Simon Peter answered him: 'Master, to whom small we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God."

For realsies, YES?! There could not have been a more perfect Gospel reading this week, but let's come back to that. Let's return to my traumatic experience at Mass. 😭 So,  everything was going soothingly well. Then Mass ended, and Anne and I waited for Henry to come back from the sacristy.

Sigh.

A man comes up to us. I recognize him from Mass, but I do not know him, or even his name. He comes up smiling at us, so I assume he's going to say something nice. Because that's just what I do, I assume the best of people. While still all smiley, he tells me that when *he* brings up the gifts, he gets up as soon as Father gets out of his chair, rather than waiting for the ushers the way that Anne and I did. Then he says:

"I heard the lady in front of me tsk, then say: 'amateurs!'"

And he bursts out laughing like this is the funniest thing he's ever heard.

Friends, I was not laughing. In fact, I said nothing while he laughed, until he got the hint and slunk away. I would not normally react like that; I would play along and pretend I got the "joke" so as to put the other person at ease. But I was really stung. I felt hurt by his words, and that he went out of his way to relay them to me. He couldn't have known that I was generally feeling low that day, upset about everything that we were all just finding out about, and that this would make me feel infinitely lonelier in my faith. But for the rest of the day, I felt terrible. I thought to myself: "what am I even doing here?"

And I'm glad that my thoughts took that turn, because that brings us full circle back to the Gospel reading: I'm here because of the Eucharist.

That's it, really. Although there are many close friends in my community (both locally and online) that I share my faith with, I'm not Catholic because of the people. I'm Catholic because of the Eucharist.

Each morning when I've woken up this week, I think about that. I think about that Gospel reading from John. I downloaded a Kindle copy of the Liturgy of the Hours, and when I can, I pray Morning/Evening Prayer. Randomly, the one I've been able to pray every day is Night Prayer. I remind myself that my faith is about Christ and His True Presence in the Eucharist, and I don't need to feel particularly touchy feely about my bishop or about my fellow parishoners in order for my faith to be firm. Hopefully, that will all resolve eventually, but I don't need to force my feelings into anything. It's the way I feel right now, and that's OK.

It's all a little raw this week, do you agree, my friends? Do you have certain things that you do when you find that it's a challenge for your faith to thrive? Specific devotions or ways of focusing your thoughts and emotions? Perhaps we can all have a virtual group hug this week!

Tea Time with Tiffany #59 - Spiritual dryness & a vodka tonic...

oooo la la! We have a change of venue for this week's edition of:

Indeed, I'm not at the office for this particular recording. I am at home, and waxing philosophical about life's challenges amidst a spell of spiritual dryness. Accompanied by a refreshing vodka tonic. Join me!





**To subscribe to the audio version of Tea Time with Tiffany, just search for it in iTunes or use this link to subscribe via Feedburner in your podcatcher of choice. Intro music is "Tea Ceremony" from PlayonLoop.com

Items mentioned in this episode:

• The Imitation of Christ, by Thomas a Kempis.
• Divine Office app for Android, though I believe it is not currently available for sale while they work through a copyright issue.
• Liturgy of the Hours in print form, especially the Advent/Christmas volume. If you prefer to pray with a printed text rather than via an app, purchasing the volumes one at a time in used form is an easier way to absorb the cost, that's what I did when I purchased mine!
• Sacred Reading 2016. Looks like the 2017 version is also available already.
• Magnificat magazine.

Have you ever experienced a spell of spiritual dryness? Changed up your daily prayer routine lately to something that's really working for you? I'd love to hear all about it!

Tea Time with Tiffany #46 - Introverted penguins & spiritual attacks. I promise I'll explain :0

Hello ALL! I'm so glad to have you with me for a very peaceful installment of:

Today I talk about spiritual challenges and how I'm coping with them. I tie in a story about a penguin. I promise, this makes sense in the podcast. ;-) Listen on, dear listener!





**To subscribe to the audio version of Tea Time with Tiffany, just search for it in iTunes or use this link to subscribe via Feedburner in your podcatcher of choice. Intro music is "Tea Ceremony" from PlayonLoop.com

Items mentioned in this episode:

• Tuesday's post about spiritual darkness.
• Baby Penguins Everywhere! board book. I found it, HUZZAH! *pats librarian bun*
• Next Catholic Book Club selection: Church of Spies.  If you want to buy this book rather than going the library route, it is $15.99 for Kindle, and about $20 in hardcover. The paperback version doesn't release until November, as I suspected.

What are your practical suggestions for dealing with spiritual darkness? Also, don't forget to chime in about how we should structure our Church of Spies discussion. Over one month or multiple? Melanie had a great suggestion in the comments of yesterday's post. Leave yours as well!

Spiritual setbacks during Easter season, & Holy Spirit moments...

All! I've missed you.

*hug*

I'm all emotional today, so expect lots of sappy lapses like that one. As is so often the case with situations such as this, I'm fine one minute, and struggling the next. What am I talking about? Spiritual darkness with a just a touch of depression mixed in with it. Picture me walking about, looking anxious, with a small rain cloud following me directly overhead. That sums it up really well.

This tends to happen when I'm praying 54 day rosary novenas, interestingly. And we're just past the halfway point, which seems significant, somehow. And it just...happens, you know? There isn't just one reason, it's not that I'm a weak person, it just happens sometimes. All of a sudden, ordinary things seem to be more of a struggle, and it gets me down. I always climb up out of it, but for a day or two, all I want to do is sit around and feel sorry for myself while eating Cookies 'n Cream ice cream. It happens.

So this weekend I was feeling a bit fragile. On Saturday I forgot not only to pray my rosary but to pray the St. Gianna Beretta Molla novena.

#epicfail

Then I felt guilty as well as a bit down, and oh so forgetful, and it was just a whole snowball situation. ;-)

But here's the interesting thing. Grab your tea. We're going to go on a full circle journey together.

So, Thursday I recorded Tea Time. And I was fine. I felt a bit scattered, but I was fine. That's not exactly an unusual situation for yours truly.

*halo*

Between Thursday and Friday I started to feel not so fine. I began to worry about a whole assortment of things, and my heart felt heavier. By Friday, I was definitely not fully myself, and that lasted the entire weekend.

But it's what ELSE happened this weekend, in the midst of all of this, that I find interesting. On Friday afternoon, I received a package containing the gift I'd ordered for a First Communion gift. It's a St. Gabriel the archangel saint doll:

He looks very stoic, yes?

As you might expect, I was very pleased to see him. :) I pulled him out of his wrappings for a little photo shoot, and Anne wanders in. She becomes entranced with him:

"Mommy, he has WINGS!"

Wings ;-)

"Yes Honey, he's an angel."

"I want wings too, Mommy. Can I keep him?"

"No darling, he's a gift."

This was most disappointing to her, so she retreated to her room to pull out her own saint doll collection, which had been languishing for a time having fallen under her bed. She does not yet have any wooden dolls, but she has a plethora of felt dolls. All of a sudden, Anne's tiny body disappears beneath her bed, and out comes St. Therese, St. Kateri, St. Blaise, Our Lady Star of the Sea, and Our Lady of Lourdes. I could see her examining each carefully, becoming re-acquainted with them. She begins toting them around the house with her.

On Saturday, I find this on the dining room table:

Apparently St. Therese and St. Kateri are down with the sledding

She had become so enamored with her new saint friends that it was like a whole new relationship blossoming with them:

"Mommy. Can you...make me a saint? Like, can I dress like them?"

I mean...

*heart!*

So this is what we came up with:

Future saint ;-)

Yes, those are butterfly wings, inspired by our archangel friends. But she picked out a head covering, and carried that crucifix and a pair of plastic rosary beads around with her for the entire weekend. I even heard her in her bed praying a Hail Mary Saturday night.

*collapses from the cuteness*

So Anne is on this saint kick, and Sunday morning the kids and I head to Mass with me still not feeling myself. We get out to the car in the garage, and what do you suppose happens?

The car won't start.

I was about to go into the house to fetch Mike's kind assistance, but I gave myself a few tries and gave the car a little gas. It started.

My car is ancient, so this isn't exactly a shock for it to act this way, and in the past it's always been fine afterward, so we press onward. We are now running late, but away we go. When we arrive at our parish, our usual spot on the far right side of the sanctuary was full, due to us getting there later than usual. I tell Henry to choose a new spot, and he picks an area in the middle of the church, just past center.

On we proceed, and Anne goes up for Children's Liturgy of the Word. During the homily, Father devoted part of the time to a nun who came to speak about an appeal for her missionary order of sisters. Part of her discussion was about vocations, and she indicated that some of the children in the parish could be future priests, bishops, nuns and/or saints. She brought the young altar servers in as examples. :)

"And that young boy over there!" *points* "He could be the pope someday!"

I turn to see that she is pointing directly at Henry, and that he is weakly raising his hand to acknowledge her. If we hadn't sat where we did, she never would have seen him. And we wouldn't have sat where we did if we weren't running late due to the car not starting and me being in a general funk. It just seemed terribly fortuitous.

This is not to say that I'm taking this as a sign that Henry will be pope. ;-) It just warmed my heart to see my children engaged in their faith, and at a time when I really needed the boost. The Holy Spirit is always alive and well, even when things seem a bit more difficult than usual.

After Mass, I felt a little better. We took the kids on an afternoon hike after lunch, and Anne tripped, fell and skinned her knee about 2 and a half minutes into the walk. *long suffering sigh* We had to take turns carrying her for a spell. But I felt a little better still. I've been improving ever since. I'm going to try and get to confession this week.

Does this happen to you all as well? Spiritual dryness or darkness or however you want to term it? How do you handle it? I would love to discuss it with you in the comments.

Tomorrow is book club day! If you read Divine Mercy for Moms or are otherwise interested to learn more about it, stop in to chat with us then. :)

Spiritual dryness &...I'll just say it: general emotional crises :0

Good morning to you all! It's Monday, and I usually write posts about the previous Sunday's liturgy and my experience at Mass. And, well, as you can see, I'm not doing that today. Nor did I bother to snap an image that would work perfectly (I hope?!) with my post for today. Today I just felt like writing, and indeed writing about what is on my mind. So I am. And here you are. :)

Last month I started the path to Marian consecration via 33 Days to Morning Glory by Fr. Michael Gaitley. I LOVE this book, the entries are so relatable and interesting. And my consecration day is now nearly upon me, this coming Wednesday, May 13th, the feast of Our Lady of Fatima. And what this has to do with the topic of this post is that I'm rather wondering if the struggles I've been experiencing lately have to do with the closeness of this holy commitment. Evil one lurking?

*ominous music plays*

:)

At any rate, I've felt all out of sorts. Yesterday was Mother's Day, and I was in tears practically the entire day. I just didn't feel like myself. And can I just say that Mother's Day is frequently like this for me? Bad Mother's Day mojo, man. I've clearly pissed off the Mother's Day Official Party Police or what have you. My very first Mother's Day after I had Henry?

*Tiffany walks bleary-eyed into restaurant for brunch*

"Hi Honey!"

It's my parents.

*Tiffany immediately bursts into tears*

"Oh no, what's wrong?!"

"I forgot your card! I'm such a horrible person! And I'm just so...TIRED!"

Not sleeping through an entire night for a *year* will really turn a person into a whimpering shell of their former selves, can I get an Amen?

A-freaking-MEN, friends!

All righty then, back to the diatribe on my fragile mental state. ;-) Prayer feels incredibly dry lately, like I'm just talking to a wall. I feel rather anxious and easily upset. As if I need to be even *more* sensitive than I already am by God-given personality?!

Good heavens.

I don't know what the heck is going on. We'll just blame hormones, that seems fairly convenient. Anne's 4th birthday is exactly one week away, THAT MUST BE IT! Ladies, let's all grab pitch forks and protest our fate of the Reign Of Estrogen in our lives! :0

Just keeping it real, as I always strive to do. I'm certain that it will pass, but in the mean time I've been doing a lot of thinking. My little mind has been all aswirl (spell check is telling me that this isn't a word, but I'm pointedly ignoring it) about my creative life and what I want out of it. Obviously, I want to feel fulfilled. I want to enjoy how I spend my creative time. I do enjoy writing, and I've always loved keeping this blog. Lately though, I've felt a bit like I'm spinning my wheels. I have all of these different things that I like to write about (faith, marriage and parenthood, dance, librarianship) and is that even working anymore? I've been doing this now for nearly 7 years, and is it time for a change? I don't know the answer to that question, but the fact that I'm thinking about it is somewhat telling, I suppose.

When I wrote that post last week about thinking on some new ideas and awaiting inspiration, Melanie responded with something that really meant a lot to me. Melanie, I hope you don't mind me singling you out like this, but your comment just about brought tears to my eyes, and making the librarian cry means you get singled out. :0

Melanie said that although she originally found and read my blog for the posts on Catholic books and librarianship, she has stayed and reads all of my posts, even on other topics because: "...you make everyday events interesting." That just...really made my day, thank you. :)

Because that is all I have ever wanted to do, and that is what I personally like to read. Everyday events, made interesting. I hardly think a cameraman following me around all day as I went about straightening my hair and readying for work, reading Amish fiction while I eat my morning yogurt, sitting in my office, sitting at the reference desk, driving home and listening to podcasts, and then yelling "STOP IT!" towards my children as they fight while I cook dinner, would find my life particularly scintillating. But when you write, you can flesh out the funny little things that we can all relate to. That's really why I started this blog.

So, all of this to say that I don't know where I'm going from here. Maybe I just need a fresh blog redesign? Who knows. I'll still be here, and I'll keep you informed. Perhaps I'll experiment with some new types of posts (a video post every week?) or otherwise try out new ideas. I feel a little stale. And just an fyi: I think I'm going to move to a 3-4 post per week model, rather than 5 like I've been doing. I think I've been pushing myself a little too much to come up with content. I think we can all agree that feeling pressured is a real mood killer. :)

But excitingly, with the Catholic New Media Conference coming up in *gulp!* less than a month, I am in hopeful expectation of new inspiration soon. Oh, cute anecdote: Mike could tell I was down yesterday, and disappeared into his office while I brought Anne upstairs for her nap. When I came back downstairs, he solemnly handed me a sheet of paper that he had typed up. It was entitled:

"Ideas for a Belly Dance Mystery"

And he had a full plot summary on there of murdered belly dancers and their crime solving troupemates. I mean...SO SWEET. Could the man be more adorable? Seriously. He knew that I was struggling with how to sort out my creative energies and wanted to provide some new ideas and inspiration for me.

And a final cute anecdote: Anne and I went to Mass by ourselves yesterday because Henry was under the weather. A major bummer on Mother's Day, to be sure. Anne was very concerned about leaving Henry behind, and did not like this aberration from our routine.

"Mommy, could I say a St. Anthony prayer for Henry to get better?"

She has the St. Anthony prayer memorized, since we need to implement it so often to find lost toys. ;-)

"Oh. Well sure, Honey, that's very sweet of you."

"Dear St. Anthony, please come around. Henry's tummy... is not lost, but it is hurting. Please help his tummy to feel better."

PRECIOUS.

Fifth Sunday of Lent and battles with spiritual dryness...

Lent is absolutely flying by, no? This Lent has been different for me in that my spiritual dryness (mentioned previously here) really hasn't abated, and the sticking to my Lenten resolutions has seemed to go more poorly than usual. :0 I do, however, at this stage of my life, have confidence in the method of just plugging ahead. Things always turn around, they just do. Whether it be that the situation actually changes or just that your response to it does. I have experienced this in many arenas of my life, including the spiritual realm. It's all good.

So I've been plugging ahead in my Lent, recognizing that a huge component of this is seeking out the sacrament of reconciliation. It's not like I have something major to confess, but I haven't been in many months, and that always takes a toll, whether you see it or not. And I don't even know WHY I'm procrastinating on this. I have this weird love/hate relationship with confession. I always dread it, despite how fantastic I feel after going. This seems to be a common struggle for Catholics.

And so going to Mass lately hasn't brought me the spiritual serenity it used to. Like I mentioned though, I persist, because it's the right thing to do. Plus, I need to set the right example for my children, despite their being the reason why I often don't get as much out of Mass as I'd like to. :0 It's hard to focus on Mass when you have these little people demanding your attention all of the time. Exhibit A, which occurs weekly:

*innocently reads missal*

"Mommy. Mommy. MOMMY. I have to use the potty!"

"You have a diaper on sweetie, you can just go."

"What?!" *scandalized look* "No, Anne can't. I have to use the big potty, Mommy! I have to GO PEE!"

Naturally, none of this takes place as quietly as I'd like it to.

However, I'm pleased to report that yesterday morning, I woke up excited to go to Mass. It's not that I've been dreading Mass, I just dread the exhaustion the children can bring to the experience. But yesterday, something was different. Nothing was at all different in terms of my responsibilities at Mass itself. Infighting during the coat and shoe putting-on process, a whiny ride in the car, Anne "needing" to use the potty the instant the opening hymn fades away, Henry annoying Anne, Anne annoying Henry, Anne wanting to dance out in the aisle, Anne loudly dropping her sippy cup...All of that still happened. But suddenly I felt soothed and happy to be at Mass again, despite all of these distractions. I felt excited to bust out my Magnificat to follow along, even though I knew the chances of it staying out with Anne in my charge were unlikely.

The sun was out during our drive, the wind finally didn't hold the bite of this past winter. Henry read cutely along in his own missal for the readings. Anne was well behaved. After Mass, Henry asked to light a candle, and I gave him the go ahead to get one of the big guns (i.e. the large size that will burn for 7 days) to pray for his intentions with his First Communion coming up in exactly one month.

It was lovely. And I was thinking that even at this late date in Lent, with Holy Week slated to begin next Sunday, it's not too late to get back on the horse. If you've stopped doing one of your resolutions, pick it back up now. It will make for a really meaningful Holy Week

Later Sunday afternoon, Hank and I broke out the kit to make his First Communion banner, a requirement of his religious education class. For someone who regularly hot glues her fingers together, this was sure to be a challenge. How did it go? Tune back in tomorrow. :)