My little ones are getting so big *sniffle!* - tales from the 4th Sunday of Advent...

Morning everyone! As you can see from my photo (sort of, sorry for the bad lighting via the camera on my phone :0), all of our candles are lit, and Christmas is this week. Terribly exciting, yes? I'll be honest though (which I tend to be on this blog, that's part of why I love it so much and have kept writing all these years), my weekend was a bit stressful. I'm experiencing the Advent blues it seems, but I remember going through this during Lent this past year as well. As soon as the Easter Vigil hit though - :0. Everything was great. I'm hoping that will happen with Christmas too.

*prayers alighting for a perked Catholic Librarian*

I'm trying, I really am. I will say that a highlight was Mass yesterday for the Fourth Sunday of Advent. I got the kids all packed up with promises that all four candles would be lit, and off we went.

The instant we got to the pew, Anne announced that she had to use the restroom, complete with desperate grabbing of requisite body part.

#SomeThingsNeverChange

I took her back and she expressed interest in once again joining the other kids for Children's Liturgy of the Word. I told her that was fine, but that she had to be a very good girl and listen and follow directions via the nice lady leading the group. She agreed. The Liturgy of the Word hadn't started yet, so I explained that she'd have to process up to the altar with the other kids, which would be new for her. When the time came, she seemed a tad uncertain, but I encouraged her to follow another little girl who appeared in the aisle near our pew. She did, and then looked like she had been doing this for years, eagerly listening to Fr. Jay as he gave them instructions at the altar and then scampering back into the sacristy with the group.

:( :( :(

My baby, where has the time gone? Henry, meanwhile, was beside me, being super attentive and good. We've come a long way from The Incident, my friends. And it is *so nice* to be able to listen to the homily without shenanigans to referee. I could actually *hear* what Fr. Jay was saying, which related to Mary's absolute trust in the Father's plan for her when the Angel Gabriel came to make this dramatic request.

When it came time for the collection, I could see Henry watching the door to the sacristy, as was I, to be vigilant for Anne's safe return. She came dashing out, full of enthusiasm, and bearing an activity sheet relating to the day's Gospel. Though active for the rest of Mass, she was very well-behaved, coloring on her activity sheet and asking to hold my small bag of chaplets, which she lines up carefully on the pew each week.

I was reflecting during the closing hymn on how sad I am that I won't be at our parish for Christmas (we attend at another parish due to a more convenient Mass time) when the older couple ahead of us turned around:

"You have the most well-behaved children at Mass. You must be so proud of them."

I just about teared up. My children have been *ill behaved* at Mass many times. MANY, MANY times. But on the whole, they are good, and that was such a nice thing to hear. On a day when I really need a pick-me-up, I was ever so grateful for that comment. And I so appreciated that they took the time out to say something nice to me. Often, when it comes to children in church, you hear nothing unless someone deems it "necessary" to criticize you or your children. This was so refreshing.

And so, a lovely final Sunday in Advent. As a family, we will attend the Christmas Eve vigil Mass at 4pm. I have always wanted to go to Midnight Mass, but with the kids the ages they are right now, it's definitely not happening for some time. :) And next Sunday is the feast of the Holy Family, I always love that day! And then the feast of Mary, Mother of God. Sublime.

Off-topic, but another highlight from my weekend that I wanted to mention: on Friday, we had our craft group Christmas party and Secret Santa exchange. I've been dying to share what I made, but haven't for fear that it would be seen by the recipient. ;-) And so here we have a super cute reindeer to celebrate Christmas with:

We've named him Sven. :0 He was presented to my Secret Santa assignee, Alix, and I just loved crocheting him for her. Precious! I received a homemade loaf of banana chocolate chip bread and a gift card to buy books or supplies from my Santa. Thrilled! I am very lucky to be a member of such a talented and generous group.

All right everyone, how was your Fourth Sunday of Advent? Do detail in the comments. And tomorrow I have a book review for you, of Catholic historical fiction set in the late Nineteenth Century. Intrigued? Head on back tomorrow. :) See you then!

Baby Jesus makes a pilgrimmage to our parish - Third Sunday of Advent & Bambinelli Sunday...

Happy Monday everyone! I'll be honest - my Monday didn't start out so sunny ;-) but things are better now and I'm feeling up to my usual writing fix for the day. This was a jam packed weekend of liturgical goodness, so let's get started!

Saturday was the feast of St. Lucy, and as promised, I got up to put some cinnamon buns into the oven. I have never made cinnamon buns before, even out of a tube, so I read the instructions very carefully. Apparently, my level of carefulness is directly correlated with unsatisfactory results, because the rolls came out overdone. Leave it to me to screw up processed cinnamon rolls, but there you have it. They were, however, still very edible, and the kids seemed to enjoy them quite a bit. I got out the St. Lucy book (I mention it, as well as a book on Bambinelli Sunday, which I will discuss below, back in my 7 Quick Post from Friday) and this year, Henry didn't seem too interested in reading the whole thing (it's certainly lengthier than your average picture book), but Anne actually sat for the story. I had to modify a few things in the retelling, :0 this is definitely aimed at slightly older kids, maybe in the 8 year old and up range, and I didn't want Anne to be scared. But I will say, I learned a *lot* of good stuff about St. Lucy from this book. For instance, Lucy's crown of candles comes from, not just her name, but a Swedish tradition in which St. Lucy arrived by boat, guiding the way with lights, during a severe famine. She brought wheat to the starving people, and hence that's why we make sweet rolls and breads to commemorate her feast. Good stuff.

We also read the Bambinelli Sunday book, and I was thrilled to see that Henry had brought a flyer home from school advertising that the school parish would be having an official Bambinelli Sunday Mass the next day. So, the children were invited to bring in their baby Jesus figurines to have them blessed during Mass. I was very excited and planned to go, but in the end, we decided to go to our regular parish since we had a bunch of stuff to drop off (Giving Tree gift and some clothes for the donation bin). However, I was all inspired, and insisted that both children pack up their Baby Jesus figurines for a blessing request after Mass for the Third Sunday of Advent:

Anne was super excited about this and immediately got her Jesus ready, as was I. That's my baby Jesus up in the cover photo for this post. :0 Henry on the other hand...he's 9. He's entered this age where he's worried that everything he does is being watched and deemed embarrassing by others. While I sympathize, I think the child is far too paranoid for his own good. ;-)

So Sunday morning, we loaded up all our stuff, including three Jesuses. The kids put the gift under the Giving Tree while I found a pew. I was wearing bright pink in honor of it also being the Third Sunday of Advent, and thus Gaudete Sunday, when we light the rose candle.

*happy sniff*

Anne wore her pink furry boots in commemoration as well. :0 I tucked our Jesus figures into our pew for the end of Mass, so that we could ask our parish priest to bless them. Anne was pretty fidgety, and during the Gospel, asked to use the restroom. This is my lot in life right now, as mother to a 3 year old, so I took her back into the sacristy. While we were back there she spotted the children in the other room participating in Children's Liturgy of the Word. When we finished in the restroom, she asked if she could stay with them.

Well.

*sniffle!*

I thought she might not want to stay without me, so I explained that if she went, she had to sit like a big girl without me and then come back to our pew when they were done.

"Ok, Mommy. I won't be scared!"

She hustled over next to another little girl, looking mighty proud of herself, and waved goodbye to me.

All right then.

*eyes well*

It actually was a nice respite for me to be able to hear the homily, and she came dashing out at the collection, bursting with happy energy. She declared that she wants to go back next week, so we'll see how this goes. She's younger than Henry was when he started going, but the enthusiasm is certainly there. She's getting so big. :-\

At the end of Mass, we got our coats on and hurried to the back with our Jesuses. Anne ran ahead and thus got to Fr. Jay before I did. I saw him hold out his hand to her, likely expecting her to shake it, but instead:

Whap!

She slapped her Baby Jesus into his palm. He looked confused at first, but then I approached bearing two more Jesuses and explaining our request. He was happy to oblige. :)

So we left feeling contented and with three blessed Jesus figures. Anne eagerly deposited them back to their home nativity scenes upon our return. Another lovely addition to our arsenal of Advent Sundays. Just one to go before Christmas!

How was your Third Sunday of Advent, dear reader? Leave me a comment. :)

A candle tray update, and my *real* last Children's Liturgy session...

I forgot that I promised an update on how my first night of candle tray balancing went. I'm happy to report that it *wasn't* a disaster; sometimes life really does surprise you. :)

For some reason I thought that it would be *more* difficult to balance a tray than it is to balance a sword. I'm basing this on my one attempt to balance a shamadan (traditional Egyptian wedding dance wherein one balances a candleabra), now THAT, gentle reader, was a disaster. Somehow having something covering more circumference on my head made the item less stable. But that was actually not the case with a tray. It balanced with no trouble at all and was quite easy to keep on while dancing. We haven't yet put the candles on them yet, but we're getting there.

I will say that although the sword is more difficult, the nice thing is that you can adjust it without having to touch it simply by angling your head. With a tray, adjusting means physically doing it with your hands, and given that it is so much lighter than a sword, the chances of you having to adjust it are greater. So, those are the pros and cons.

But it really, seriously went well. So well that the entire group is going to be balancing a tray rather than just a portion of us. And we're going to come out holding the trays, and then balance them on our heads while shimmying. Don't you just love bellydance? Something new and fun every day. :)

So that was Friday. Sunday morning I had one final Children's Liturgy of the Word session to run, since the DRE asked me and I am fond of her. I prepared by compiling a few Father's Day appropriate saints stories (Bl. Louis Martin and St. Joseph) and getting some questions together relating to the Gospel theme for the day on forgiveness. I was ready.

So imagine my disappointment when my cast net only reeled in 2 fish. :) Yes, that's right, the smallest Children's Liturgy crowd that I've ever had, and ironically, it was the 2 older boys that sometimes misbehave and made me reconsider my call to this ministry to begin with.

And...they were great, really. They got a little antsy toward the end, but who wouldn't? They were good sports about the whole thing and I told them so. So my year with the Children's Liturgy of the Word program ended very, very well. I got everything tidied back up after Mass and left feeling peaceful.

The whole thing has gotten me to thinking: what ministry is God calling me to now? I really do want to continue to volunteer in my parish, I just feel like I need a change. The summer is a good time to figure this all out since many of the ministries are dormant over the summer months and resurface come fall. So I'll be praying about it and keeping my eye on the bulletin.

Of Father's Day and precariously balanced candles...

Guess who got talked into doing one last session of Children's Liturgy of the Word for the year?

#shewhoiseasilytalkedintothings

That's right. But I'm looking forward to it, and my new obsession with Twitter is already reaping benefits. I put a call out for saint story suggestions tying in to Father's Day, and received back the excellent suggestions of St. Joseph (duh, why didn't I think of that?) and Bl. Louis Martin, father of St. Therese of Lisieux. How awesome is that? Good stuff.

I may also take the kids to a Marian shrine this weekend that is about 40 minutes away from us, making it a Very Catholic Weekend. Hank loves it there. We'll see.

In other news, I am officially a candle tray balancer for our new troupe choreography. This has the potential to go very poorly considering I've never actually balanced a tray before, but I'm cautiously optimistic. We're going to start the choreography tonight and I'm so excited I can hardly stand it.

In an important caveat, we're not going to be using real candles, ha! Many venues, actually, won't allow you to use lit objects as props. We're going to use those battery operated "candles", so things will be much safer. It's just a short balancing segment at the beginning of the number, and apparently one of my troupemates is going to be placing a candle on my tray, yay! This is going to be so much fun. I will report in on Monday with whether or not I made a complete spectacle of myself.

Children's Liturgy of the Word, Corpus Christi edition, a success

So yesterday I had what may be my last Children's Liturgy of the Word session, since I decided not to continue with the program next school year. It's a relief to think that I won't have to worry about it next year (I have such social anxiety :); I hate to admit it, but it's true) plus not having to worry about getting Anne to Mass when I want to take her. However, yesterday brought up some good points that I will sincerely miss. Read on, gentle reader...

I actually didn't have Henry with me at Mass yesterday (very unusual) because he had been invited to a conflicting birthday party. So I arrived solo, and set right off to the sacristy.

I have to say, I LOVE being back in the sacristy before Mass. I like the hustle and bustle of liturgy-readying activities, the warmth of the people that volunteer at the parish that gather back there. I really feel like a part of things. I got all my materials ready and headed out to the sanctuary. Without Henry in tow, I was even able to pray beforehand. :)

The call for kids just prior to the Liturgy of the Word brought out about 10 small souls. We headed back to the sacristy. I had a few saint stories to share with them after the readings, Blessed Imelda, and Saint Kateri Tekakwitha. When I let them know that our agenda included saint stories, there was a twitter of excitement. A few of the older girls even said how happy they were that I was the one leading Children's Liturgy for the day.

See, then I felt bad. :) I have gotten to know the regulars, and even the older boys that had been surly a few times and had gotten me discouraged have taken it down several notches and have been fine since then.

We had a great session. We went through the readings and talked about the Eucharist, particularly in the context of a few of them recently having made their First Holy Communion. I told them about the beauty of daily Mass, how it was this short little gem in your day and how receiving the Eucharist on a more frequent basis leads to *clear* differences in one's life. I told them that if they remembered nothing else that I've taught them to remember that one thing. They were pretty wide eyed about that. :)

Then I read them the saint stories, and they especially loved the Blessed Imelda story, that was a real crowd pleaser (despite it's sad ending). After that, it was time to head back out to the church, so I gave them their handouts and shepherded them back to their parents.

It was nice to have such a positive experience be the one that I'll take with me, and in fact the last handful of sessions have been quite good, especially May's edition with the rosary discussion, and the Divine Mercy back in April. It made me think that perhaps this isn't the last time I'll do Children's Liturgy of the Word, maybe I'll volunteer again the future. Stay tuned. :)

In the meantime, I'm jonesing for a new volunteer slot, one that will be a good fit for me, so I've been going through the bulletins every week with a fine tooth comb. A note about needing "some ladies to do light cleaning on the altar and in the sacristy" (lol) caught my eye, but they're looking for somebody during the day, which obviously doesn't work for me. We'll see, something will come up I'm sure.

Feast of Corpus Christi: need your input :)

Short post today, all, since I really don't have any good ideas for things to talk about. I think this is because I waited until after 3 pm after which time nary a useful thought enters my head. But I do have a request: This Sunday I'm doing Children's Liturgy of the Word, perhaps for the last time. It's going to be the feast of Corpus Christi. I've been trying to incorporate additional interesting things into the lesson each week besides the readings, such as talking about the rosary in May, and the chaplet of Divine Mercy in April. I was thinking that I would discuss some saints who were devoted to the Eucharist. This is where you come in. :)

I thought of Blessed Imelda, but does anybody else have additional suggestions? I'd like to read them some relevant saint stories, that's always a crowd pleaser. :) If you have a saint suggestion, please do leave a comment, with a link to the saint's story.

And so it begins...and a lovely May installment of Children's Liturgy of the Word

Well, the contents of our dining room and living room are now in a combination of our guest room, Henry's bedroom (he has so much more space in his room than we do because he has a smaller bed and less furniture), the garage, the basement, and a few area rugs rolled up into the kitchen. I managed to see all this to fruition without having a heart attack. I'm very proud of myself.

I have it easier than Mike does, who is done teaching for the semester and thus is home with Anne trying to find things for them to do outside of the house all day while the men are working. Luckily, his parents live very close to us, so they'll hang with them a lot. Mike reported in to me this morning that the crew arrived on time and got right to work, saying they would be there until about 3 or 3:30 this afternoon. Today's task was some board replacement (the plywood spots) and sanding. Things should be a mess by time we get home tonight. :) But to get the final product things have to get worse before they get better.

Poor, precious little Anne was distressed all weekend by the dwindling furniture in the main living space as we gradually moved things out. She came up to me with wide, saucer eyes this morning asking after the basket of toys that usually resides in the living room. Her biggest concern is for her peg saint dolls, which we keep on the mantle.

"Joan?"

She's on a first name basis with her saints.

"Joan will be back next weekend, Sweetheart. She's on vacation."

"Anne? Therese?"

"Them too, Honey."

"CHILDREN!"

My God, the children. The little Fatima children were definitely on her mind. Poor babe.

I think that tomorrow is the final sanding run, and there may even be some stain applied. After that, it will just be several mornings of polyurethane going down and waiting for it to dry before beginning all over again. We'll get there. I'll have before and after pictures.

In other news, I had Children's Liturgy of the Word yesterday. We talked about the continuation of Easter season, the readings, May sacraments, and the rosary. Several of the little girls present had just made their First Communion the day before. They volunteered a correct definition of the Eucharist being the actual body and blood of Jesus.

*beams with pride*

It was good, and likely one of my last sessions with them for the year. I'll probably have another one in late May and/or early June, and that'll be the end of my run with the program, for now anyway. I'm looking for a new volunteer opportunity, so we'll see.

May is a wonderful month to be a Catholic, and other upcoming weekend shenanigans...

For those of us that grew up Catholic, May is a month of Marian crownings, First Communion and Confirmation. Lots of lovely sacraments and traditions enmeshed in here. We still have a year to go before Henry makes his First Communion, but I see it on the calendar for his school for this Saturday, and they have a May crowning next week. :) Adorable.

I'm on duty for the Children's Liturgy of the Word this Sunday, and in my quest to go out with a bang, I took the time to print out some leaflets to give to the kids about how to pray the rosary, including small photos of each mystery. I'll talk about that for a spell in addition to the readings from the lectionary. After this, I'll probably have only one more CLOW to run. I'd like to volunteer in the parish in some other way, but I'm not certain exactly how yet. I'm sure something will present itself.

In the mean time, the kids are enjoying our new springtime weather. Anne is running around in nothing but a Onesie and wearing summer jammies to bed that make her more adorable than usual, as if that was even possible. She's been particularly sassy lately:

*click*

"Anne sweetheart, Mommy is in the bathroom. Could you close the door?"

"No!"

"Why don't you go see Dora?"

"Map?"

"YES, the Map! Go see the Map!"

"Hold that Map."

"You can see him, but you can't hold the Map, Sweetie."

"Kiss that Map."

"I'm sure he would appreciate that, Darling."

"I'm the Map, I'm the Map..."

*Anne races off, leaving door wide open*

As well, we have our hardwood refinishing coming up on Monday, and your Catholic Librarian, while remarkably level-headed and calm (*snort*), is still feeling some apprehension about the disruption this will cause to our household. Our couch is going to have to go into the garage and all of the other furniture from our living room and dining room is going to have to be smashed into the kitchen and the small office.

*sobs*

But the floor *really* needs to be refinished, this isn't a frivolous project. There is *plywood* in some places and paint spatters abound. This is what we found when we lifted the wall-to-wall gold carpeting after we moved in. It's a good floor that was treated very badly and it's needed to be refinished for years. I know we'll be so glad that we did it when it's finished, but it will be painful in the interim.

We're planning some family activities for the evenings next week as well as some inexpensive places to eat out. We'll see how this goes. :-\ One day at a time though, and on Monday we're taking the kids to our local golf dome. We were there a few weeks ago for a birthday party, and both children LOVED it. Nice restaurant with inexpensive but good food looking out onto the golfing, and afterward we can play mini golf while one of us chases a golf ball-wielding Anne. Good times.

Divine Mercy Sunday

It was a very nice weekend, and I lived to tell about my latest Children's Liturgy of the Word experience. Come Sunday morning, things went thusly:

I was tired, because Anne slept like garbage, not a huge break from the norm there. But I was in good spirits. I even tried to pray a rosary before I left, which had the predictable result of me getting about two Hail Mary's in before being interrupted, but no matter. I was feeling cautiously optimistic and spiritually boosted.

I snuck out of the house when Anne was distracted playing with Mike so that she wouldn't cry when she spotted Henry and I going to Mass. Henry was all excited for his first week staying by himself back in the pew while I taught Children's Liturgy. He's been asking for a long time now, and recently he's really behaved at church in such a way that I could tell he could do it, and that he had earned it. He helped me set up, but then settled in with his Magnifikid. I was armed with the readings, a Divine Mercy booklet to show the kids, and some extra free rosary beads from the church entrance.

I got a large crowd, including my two regular troublemakers. However, they were totally fine, all of them. I told them right away that we were going to do something different today, which seemed to pique everyone's interest. We said the opening prayer, and dove into the readings.

I tied everything back to a theme of God's mercy *gold star* and then pulled out my Divine Mercy booklet. As soon as I showed them the cover image they were intrigued. When I started reading the story of St. Faustina's life, I got a litany of questions:

"What's a vision?"

"How did she die?"

"What did Jesus say to her?"

I was just getting to the chaplet when I heard the congregation starting to recite the Nicene Creed. I could hardly believe it, but our time was almost up and I still had a ton of good material. Not only that, but I didn't have anybody acting up or not paying attention. Everybody was very interested and well-behaved.

I summed up the chaplet as best as I could, saying that we wouldn't have time today, but maybe in May we could say a decade of the rosary and a decade of the chaplet (very ambitious, but I usually do that to myself).

I had a couple of the free rosaries on hand and asked them all if they had a rosary at home. About half raised their hand. I told them that there were a ton of free blessed rosaries near the exits to the church and they could take one if they wanted their own, and we would be talking about the rosary again in May. This also drew a lot of interest. As we were processing out, I was asked multiple times "where the free necklaces were."

I thought that was interesting. Obviously, it was the first impression of more than one child that a rosary looks like a necklace. I definitely want to spend some time with them next month talking about using a rosary as an aid in prayer.

When I got back out to the pew, I found Henry, halo perched firmly on his head, absorbed in his missal. He did really well. We've come a long way from "the Incident."

As Henry and I were leaving, I spied a few kids picking out rosaries. It made me smile. :) All in all, it was a successful Divine Mercy Sunday.

A new season in my parish life...

I know that I've mentioned in the past that I've been contemplating discontinuing my participation as one of the catechists for the Children's Liturgy of the Word program at my parish. Last year, I had a couple of challenging weeks with the kids that I thought was the death knell. I think it was the lengthy Palm Sunday edition that broke the camel's back.

But then over the summer (the program is on hiatus during July and August) I didn't do anything about it. When fall rolled around again, the Director of Religious Ed. assumed that I'd be participating again and was relying on my help. We were down to only myself and two other women participating. So I stayed on.

And ultimately, I was really glad that I did. I had some really great weeks with the kids over the fall and winter and the DRE always told me how much she appreciated that she could always count on me. Henry even remembered some of the lessons and repeated little facts I'd told them about at Children's Liturgy when we were doing his nightly prayers. I felt needed and effective.

*gold star*

But as winter waned on, my feeling of being "burned out" returned with a vengeance. This program attracts children of all ages, and it's always a challenge to wrangle kids with such different needs and ability to pay attention. You've got raucous 3 and 4 year olds who can barely sit still, combined with bored and saucy 8 year olds. The past two sessions that I've done in particular I've left feeling rather upset and discouraged. There are a few older boys that come that simply refuse to listen when I ask them (repeatedly) to please not be rude, and I left feeling like, "why am I doing this?" I'm a *volunteer*. If I'm miserable, that just seems like a poor use of my time.

I'm a gentle and reserved person, and I started to wonder if my personality just wasn't right for the position anymore. Another factor is that Anne is no longer napping during the 10 am Mass and I want to bring her with me every week. When I'm doing Children's Liturgy, since Mike usually doesn't come with us, I can't bring Anne. If Henry and I go to Mass without her, she cries. Not only that, but Henry feels that he's "a big boy now" and doesn't want to go to Children's Liturgy anymore. He wants to remain in the pew and read his Missal, which means he'd have to stay by himself when I'm teaching.

After the last session that I did, just before Easter, I felt like that was it. All signs were pointing to me begging off after the current year is over, which will be in June. I didn't email the DRE right away, though. I mean, sometimes you feel differently given some time, space and prayer. Things don't always have to be *easy*, certainly, and I didn't want to give up too quickly.

I let a few weeks pass. I didn't have any other dates scheduled for the moment (we took a brief hiatus for Palm Sunday and Easter this year, thankfully), and I reveled in the freedom of just attending Mass without fretting about Children's Liturgy. I prayed about it a little.

Last week I received an email from the DRE asking me to sign up for some April dates. I did, and I'm on for this coming Sunday, but I also seized the opportunity to let her know that I wouldn't be doing the program anymore after our year is up in June. I relayed the Anne reason, which doesn't fully explain the reasons why I'm stopping, but it's certainly a large part of it. She of course understands.. And I feel RELIEVED.

It was the right decision. I'd still like to participate in the parish in some way, I'll just have to figure out how. But my primary responsibility is to take my kids to Mass, and that has to come first.

Since I only have maybe 3-4 sessions left, I'm going to try and make the best of them. This Sunday is Divine Mercy Sunday, and so after the readings, I decided that we've going to do something different and pray a chaplet of Divine Mercy. There are a bunch of free plastic rosary beads in the entrances to the church, so I'm going to collect those to pass out. I'm hoping that it's not going to be a complete disaster, but I'll give it my all. Doing the same thing every week leads to boredom certainly, so I want to do something different with them. We'll see how it goes, sigh.

I'll report in. :)

Thinking about Lent

I had Children's Liturgy of the Word this past Sunday (a very small, sedate group) and we spent some time talking about upcoming items on the Church calendar. I find this stuff fascinating, so I can only hope the children aren't just humoring me. We have Candlemass on February 2nd, so we talked about blessed candles, and then the feast of St. Blase next Sunday with the blessing of the throats, one of my favorite of the year. The children seemed quite taken with the St. Blase/fish bone story.

*pats self on back*

We also broached on Lent, since there are only a few weeks left until Ash Wednesday. And I'll be with them the First Sunday of Lent, happily, breaking out the purple cloth. We got to talking: what will we each be doing/giving up for Lent this year?

The answer is that I have absolutely no idea. But I LOVE thinking about it! I adore this part of the liturgical calendar, so much fodder!

Anybody want to offer in a comment what you will be doing for Lent this year?

Happy vigil of the Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God!

I've been a little bit chattier on here than I anticipated during my time off. It helps that we got a lot of snow (no motivation to actually drive anywhere or otherwise go outside other than to frolic in the snow) and that I've been able to snag the laptop several tims during Anne's nap. At any rate, we're bound for Mass this evening, and I'm all excited that I've managed to get my husband to Mass 3 times in the past 3 weeks.

*rubs hands together evilly*

I had Children's Liturgy of the Word yesterday and it was a very small, but sweet, crowd. My friend from last time wasn't there, and come to think of it, that was the first time I had ever seen her before. I wonder if she was just visiting. For whatever reason, Children's Liturgy has felt more natural to me this year, and it's ironic because I was seriously considering discontinuing my participation in the program given a few challenging weeks (read: ready to gouge own eyeballs out before we even got to the Creed) last year. I'm also looking to find an additonal role that I can play in our parish, but I feel like God hasn't yet revealed to me what that should be. I don't want anything that would keep me away from home too much on a regular basis, but I feel like I have more to give in terms of service. But I tend to rush into things full steam ahead once I get an idea into my head, and I know I just need to wait. Something will present itself when the time is right.

Those are my musings for New Year's Eve 2012. :) We're making a nice meal at home and watching a movie with Henry tonight. Champagne for Mike and I, a Shirley Temple for Hank. Talk to you all in a few days, in 2013!

Struggling

I don't always address major news stories on this blog, because I see this as a mostly light-hearted "life blog", and I figure we all get inundated with bad news in so many other arenas. We all need a break from that sometimes, you know?

But I'm having an extremely difficult time (as I'm certain you all are as well) dealing with this school shooting in Connecticut. Friday morning and early afternoon I was blissfully knitting away at my friend Stacy's house for our group Christmas party. I was surrounded by support and love. We were talking about what a particularly wonderful week it had been for our group, with lots of laughs and good times. We ate, we drank, we exchanged gifts, we listened to Christmas music.

Then I got home and heard what had happened. I felt numb and weepy for the rest of the day. I couldn't put on the news. I dreaded seeing the newspaper the next morning. But I had to find out more about it eventually, so I read. And I go between crying at the drop of a hat to being so angry. I knew, I just KNEW that the shooter would have committed suicide. He can't just kill himself, he has to shatter the lives and families of dozens of other people.

And the fact of the matter is that all of us want to live long happy lives, right? Nowadays, I think that anybody that passes away before the age of 90 is very young. :) I tend to think of myself at age 37 as still very young. But children? There is something so much deeper, so much more primal, in our love and protection of them. And somebody killing 6 and 7 year old babies is beyond comprehension. Do I want somebody to kill and/or torture me? Of course not. But I would rather that in a heartbeat before something happening to a child. The loss of a child for a parent is unspeakable. Time may make that wound somewhat less paralyzing, but nothing will ever fill that void. Nothing.

Part of it is because children are innately so loving and innocent. And you can't help it, when you see another parent lose their child, you think to yourself, "that could be me. That could be my child." And you grieve for them to the very depths of your soul. Henry is the exact age of some of the children that died.

One of the articles that I read this weekend recounted a teacher shepherding her flock into the class bathroom and locking them all inside. The children were scared and crying. One of them said:

"I just want Christmas. I want us all to be ok and just go home and have Christmas."

I lost it and broke down sobbing. The pure innocence of that statement, the simple childhood joy of Christmas. He didn't want his short life snuffed out without enjoying the day he looked forward to all year. That's what childhood is all about, memories of meaningful events and family get-togethers like we do at Christmas. I don't know about you, but I don't remember much about my day-to-day life as a child. But I remember Christmas. I have tons of memories of different Christmases throughout the years.

I keep crying about this and I don't know when I'll ever be able to stop. I woke up at 4 am this morning and thought about those tiny, precious lives and worried over their last moments.

Friday night, as I was driving home from dance practice, I stopped for a red light next to a Catholic church. Right next to my car was their glass enclosed, life sized nativity scene. All of the figures were bent so lovingly over the Child, their faces filled with beautiful detail of their amazed joy. It gave my grieving heart a few moments of peace.

Sunday, I was on duty for Children's Liturgy of the Word. And wouldn't you know it, I got a huge crowd, including one little girl that I could tell from the outset was going to be a challenge. Not only that, but I had forgotten my preparation sheet at home, so I was totally improvising. And you know, it WAS a challenge, but I was up for it, and it went really, really well. I clued in fairly quickly that the challenging little girl wasn't simply misbehaving. There was definitely a deeper behavioral issue going on. So, instead of feeling annoyed and overwhelmed, I showered her with as much loving attention as I could. She was definitely distracting to the other kids, but sometimes that's just the way it is. I think that she got something out of the session, but more importantly, *I* got something very important from her. Children are not always going to listen, or behave, or generally do what we'd like them to do. But they are *always* a blessing to us, we sometimes just have to listen to them more closely to determine what they need and what God is trying to teach us through them.

When I finished up, I told the little girl that I had a job for her, that I needed her help passing out the weekly worksheets. She sprang into action:

"Oh! Yes, I'll take half."

That just warmed my heart. And she passed them out like a champ, not even keeping one for herself.

I learned a lot from her on Sunday.

I have other things that I can share with you from my weekend, more normal, everyday things. But I won't share them today. Today I'm working to come to a peace within myself about what happened, trying to figure out how I can pray more and be a better parent to my beautiful children. I have a chaplet of the 7 Sorrows of Mary that I just looked up how to pray and I'm going to pray that later.

It's still Advent. And we're still waiting with expectant joy for the coming of our Savior.

Advent preparations 2012

This past Sunday I was the catechist for Children's Liturgy of the Word for the feast of Christ the King. The first thing that I excitedly talked about with the kids (before we got into the theme of Christ's kingship) was that this was the last Sunday in Ordinary Time. Just six short days from then, we would begin Advent.

I'm reviewing the book that you see above for Catholic Library World, and I have to say this one is lovely. The author mentions in the introduction how Advent is a time of "ancient expectancy of the Messiah" which is just lovely, no? For each day of Advent, she includes a quote from the Mass readings, a reflection on a Christmas tradition, a suggested family activity, and a prayer. It's very inexpensive at $7.99, you might want to check it out. :) The pages are all in color, it's just beautiful.

We just established the Children's Liturgy schedule for December, and I'm on again December 16th, the Third Sunday of Advent; excited! I was thrilled to secure Gaudete Sunday, so that I can talk to the children about the pink candle; they always love that. :)

Our parish also set up the Giving Tree this past Sunday and Henry picked off a card for us. This year, I asked if he would like to donate some money from his piggy bank toward the gift to the child that he chose off the tree. He agreed, so we'll get buying something over the next few weeks. He can then put it under the tree. We pick a card off the Giving Tree each year, and I think for children this is an excellent opportunity to teach them about stewardship and charity.

Other things that we are doing this Advent:

(1) Lighting our Advent Wreath - We do this every year, and Henry loves the tradition. After struggling with finding a wreath in which the candles will not tip over, this year I purchased this one from Christian Book Distributors:

The candles sit in these little cups and they *look* secure to me, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I also have fresh taper candles all ready to go. This wreath also has a spot in the middle for a white Christ candle in votive form. I'm going to round one up so that we can light it on Christmas Day, Henry has already asked about this. :)

(2) Open Advent Calendars - Yes, that is plural. Henry loves Advent calendars. He has a chocolate calendar, a Lego calendar (secular, but he loves it) and we have a wood calendar. I toyed with getting Anne a cloth calendar, but didn't pull the trigger. Fisher Price makes one. Maybe next year. She'd most likely just want to eat the pieces anyway.

(3) Put out Nativity Sets - Henry's new Fontanini set is a big hit, even Anne loves it. She squats down next to it and says "Chee!" which is her word for Jesus. It's quite precious, as you can imagine. We also have the Fisher Price nativity set which we'll set out for Anne. I think she'll really enjoy playing with it this year, especially since she has several Christmas board books that we look through together and I identify all of the people in the nativity scene for her.

(4) A Prayer Routine - I'd like to do this, maybe with the above book. Mike puts Hank to bed (I tackle Anne) so I don't have a regular bedtime prayer regimen going with Henry. This would be a good opportunity to start one on as many nights as I can.

I'm hoping that Henry comes home with an Advent project from school as well. Last year he had an Advent prayer chain that he had to hang up and take a link off each day after saying our prayers. It was really cute.

I really want this Advent to be serene and happy, not chaotic in any way. I've already decided to make Christmas gift giving a lot simper this year (more on that tomorrow) so we're off to a good start.

As we approach Advent, I wanted to draw everyone's attention to Michelle's link-up via her blog Liturgical Time.

This link is also posted on the right navigation bar on my blog for the season. There is a collection of Advent-related posts here for any interested readers. :) I'm going to try and link this post up to it and any others that I write this Advent.

It's a beautiful winter day here in western New York and I hope that everybody is enjoying this special time of year!

28th Sunday in Ordinary Time...

...is coming right up, and I am on Children's Liturgy of the Word duty, my second session of this new academic year. I'm going to be preparing my lesson tomorrow, but I looked at my liturgy preparation sheets provided by the religious education office and I see that we're going to be talking about Jesus interacting with his disciples and answering their questions about how to best follow Him.

The provided sheets always begin with a section called "Liturgical Season Background" that I enjoy reading, and I almost always use the information in here when I'm talking to the kids. For this session that section relays that the final weeks of Ordinary Time (Advent draws closer!) form a pattern until the feast of Christ the King of "adventures with Jesus." The way that Mark writes about this time is to focus on what it means to be a person of faith and follower of Jesus. I always talk to the children about our current place in the liturgical calendar: what is happening now and what is coming around the corner. This always seems to capture their attention. I also put out a cloth on our little table that is the color of the current liturgical season to illustrate things.

I'm actually looking forward to my installment this coming Sunday rather than dreading it like last time (although that session went beautifully) so I'm hoping for another good one. Sometimes I'm so convinced that God wants me to move in a different direction but things happen that cause me to not in fact veer my path. And then it seems that things work out in the original circumstance so much better than I could have imagined. I don't know if that's what is going on here in Children's Liturgy of the Word, but I'm keeping my eyes open. One never knows.

New year of Children't Liturgy, and is there a sock heaven?

This Sunday was the first installment of Children's Liturgy of the Word for the new school year, and the appointed catechist was none other than yours truly. I'll admit to dreading it just a hair, because there had been some challenging weeks leading up to the summer hiatus (Palm Sunday being a "highlight") and I had contemplated resigning from the program in lieu of volunteering for a different ministry.

But alas, here I am, all catechized and about to share with the children again. I prepared my lesson and prayed for the best. And you know, it went well. I had a smaller group (about 10 children) mostly consisting of school aged kids with just 2 squirmy pre-schoolers in the mix. The kids stayed mostly interested (at least the older ones) and I always try to add in interesting and amusing side stories when I can. It was a big relief to have the first week go so well. I'm back on duty in 3 weeks.

In other news, my falling leaves socks are no more. Friday night after dance class, I gleefully pulled them apart and re-balled the yarn. I threw the pattern in the garbage. Emotional gauge based on so much work going out the window?: Total joy. I'm SO relieved to not have to work on them anymore. I cast on for a pair of simple anklets, and life is grand.

Adventures in Bath & Body Works, and looks like I'm still a parish catechist...

This past Saturday, Henry and I traveled to our local Bath & Body Works for a little Mommy/Son bonding time. As Henry gets older, he wants to do so many things with Mike. You know, "boy stuff." He looks up to his Daddy. But one thing that he really enjoys doing with me is going to Bath & Body Works. He isn't into lotions or body scrubs, which I'm sure is no surprise. He just really likes scented candles and hand soap. He's also a fan of the little anti-bacterial gels they have there. He has a good time going around and smelling everything, and then bringing me the ones he likes for me sample as well. And it makes hand washing following bathroom duties much more pleasant for him if he likes the soap.

So Saturday we went just he and I, so that we could take our time (shopping with Anne, especially in any store that carries items made of glass, is not so fun) and enjoy ourselves. I sniffed all the new fall scented body products while Henry darted around admiring the Halloween scents.

"What's that you have, Honey? Ah, a soap called 'Vampire Blood,' nice."

I ended up getting myself some of the seasonal "Dreamy Vanilla Woods" scent. It's very nice, and I'm picky about my lotion/body spray scents. I do NOT like florals, and I don't like musky scents. I love vanilla, but not all vanillas are created equal. This one is a deeper vanilla, not foody, but very creamy. Anyway, that was a long description for body lotion. In the mean time, Henry had a load of the fall scented anti-bacterial hand sanitizers for me to smell, as well as a slew of candles. The little hand sanitizers were 5 for $5, so we picked out some of those, plus 2 small candles, which were on sale. I also got Wallflowers for both Henry and Anne's rooms. Anne really needs it, what with her diaper pail nearly requiring a gas mask to empty. All of the scents that we chose were fall-themed. :) Pumpkin Cupcake, Orchard Walk, Candy Corn, Vanilla Buttercream. If I want to eat it, I'll buy it. We had a great time.

On Sunday I wanted to take Anne to Mass again, but she was napping, so it was just Henry and I. And I was dwelling on the fact that I really dragged my feet this summer deciding what to do about Children's Liturgy of the Word. You may remember that late last spring, as we finished up the program for the summer, I was toying with discontinuing my participation and perhaps becoming a lector instead. I just didn't feel like I was enjoying it, and it seemed so much like babysitting to me because people tend to send their kids that are really young and can't sit still.

Well. I did think and pray about it over the summer, and I still felt undecided about what to do so I did nothing. Typical. Sunday, as Henry and I sit down in our pew, I open the bulletin to see my name in the list of catechists to be "commissioned" next Sunday in honor of the religious education season beginning again. Uh oh.

I figured that was my sign. Maybe I should continue to participate for another year. That was confirmed today when I received an email from the director of religious education. One of the most dedicated volunteers to the program is away for an entire month, and it's just me and another woman that they have to cover Children's Liturgy of the Word until late October, and they'd like to start the program up again the weekend after next. I couldn't exactly tell her *now* that I don't want to do it this year. If I really felt strongly about it, I should have spoken to her this summer so they could have recruited somebody else.

So, I'm signed up for 2 dates coming up. I don't think God speaks to us using big signs or anything, it's just subtle, everyday stuff. And so I figured this was my nudge. Hopefully, it'll go well this year. If not, then I really need to completely plan out what I want to do instead, and let the program coordinator know right away.

Wish me luck. :)

Catechetical musings, and a cute Anne picture

Isn't she precious? I swear, just within the past month, she was a baby that happened to be doing all of these things that she looked too little to be doing. And overnight...she's a little girl. I don't know how this happened, but frankly I don't like it.

Anyhow, over the weekend, I had my last Children's Liturgy of the Word installment for this academic year, and since I mentioned that I was contemplating not participating again next year, I thought I'd post my concluding thoughts. I have to admit, the shine rubbed off of everything after Palm Sunday. It was not an experience to remember. That was by far the worst week. I've also had some good weeks, but I've also had many mediocre weeks.

And so it got me to thinking about whether or not this particular ministry is using my talents (such as they are) to their fullest. Maybe a different ministry would be better suited to me? Lectoring sounds appealing.

So, on Sunday I wasn't exactly looking forward to my assignment. We were set to discuss Matthias being chosen to replace Judas amongst the early disciples and Jesus' prayer for all of us prior to his ascension. And...it went really well. Dang it! This makes my decision all the more difficult. :) But it did go well. I'd count it as one of my best weeks. No week has truly been a debacle or anything. But there have been weeks where I was *dying* to hear the organist chime up for the offertory hymn and I could skedaddle the little troublemakers out of there.

So, we'll see. I have some thinking to do this summer. Oohhh, it's all exciting, what will she do? :)

Multitude of things, but importantly, a perking...

Happy feast of the Ascension. :)

Happily, I'm not feeling like Death today. I left work early yesterday, and just crocheted and relaxed for the rest of the day. It took the sting out of the partial weaning thing too. Mike made us enchiladas for dinner, Anne cut a tooth and was back to normal talking to her toys, I took a nice hot shower, and we watched Mad Men. All was well.

My nasal congestion does seem to be clearing (and my lips are better too, for those that care :) ), although I have coughed a few times. *glares* If this settles in my lungs, I'll just start crying. If that happens, I'll probably be too inconsolable to blog, so at least you'll be spared. I still haven't felt well enough to resume my daily walks, and I'm trying to conserve my energy for my balance class tonight. We'll see how that goes.

In other news, I'm preparing for Children's Liturgy of the Word this Sunday. It's my last one for this "year", since the program takes the summers off. I've finally admitted that I'm considering not participating again next year.

I've gotten a lot out of it, but honestly, I don't know if it's where my strongest skill set lies. I like helping out in the parish and feeling like a valuable member of the community. I'm certain that at least some of the kids take something positive away from our sessions together. However. I'm an introverted person, and this feels a lot like herding cats. I think one needs a more commanding voice and personality to really keep the kids in check. It's not like they're running wild in the sacristy when I'm back there, I maintain control. But it's HARD for me to do that, kwim? I'm not enjoying it the way that I used to.

But at any rate, I'm committed for this Sunday, and we'll see how it goes. It'll be decision time this summer. The parish is looking for new lectors, and I'm contemplating signing up for that instead. I'm a good reader. *halo* I have good pacing and all that. And Henry is old enough that he'd be ok sitting by himself in the pew while I did my reading and processing in. Mike would have to be there for me to bring Anne, but I think we could make it work.

So, we'll see. I have time to make up my mind. In other church news, Henry has been very cute with his Magnifikid! He even followed along with the readings and prayers last week. That is one nice thing over this option rather than a generic children's missal like I had gotten him previously. The Magnifikid! has the specific readers and liturgical prayers in them. He's a definite follow-alonger. It's precious.

Holy week begins...

It's been a busy few weeks at work, and yesterday I was looking forward to a restful Palm Sunday. And it was. Except for the going to Mass part.

Anne stayed home with Mike this week, but I had Children's Liturgy of the Word. I'm not certain how I got talked into doing it on Palm Sunday, but at any rate, those were the breaks. Given how much longer the Liturgy of the Word is on Palm Sunday, I was not looking forward to wrangling the children, but I said a prayer and hoped for the best.

Well. It was *rough*. I did my best, but there were a lot more children there than usual, and they were squirmy. Add in the additional time element, and you have a recipe for a not-so-pleasant Palm Sunday Mass. But we lived through it. I sweated, though. A lot.

When I got home, I found Mike rearranging our living room. He wasn't doing this out of any sense of decor; it was because our daughter is intent upon destroying our possessions and getting into every possible crevice she can with her newfound ability to walk, and in the absence of that, crawl really extra fast.

We got a baby gate erected in an extremely inconvenient spot in the main living room entranceway because she can now climb the stairs. Yet, the next thing I know, out of the corner of my eye I spy Anne vvveeeerrrrrryyyyy casually crawling past ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GATE. She had found the dining room exit that ultimately also leads to that hallway. I just thought it would take her a lot longer to figure that out. Sigh.

She is sleeping better though. Notice that I didn't say "good," I just said "better." But hey, we'll take it. The only real issue is that Anne still possesses the innate ability to awaken *just* as I close my eyes, when I am at my most exhausted state. She's in a different room, so I just don't see how she manages this insidious task, but somehow, she manages it. And me being in a weakened and exhausted state, I'm ashamed to admit that the first thought that runs through my mind isn't"

"Well, at least she's sleeping better, I should be grateful!"

Oh no. Rather, it is:

"WHY DOES GOD HATE ME SO MUCH?!"

But you know. I'm only human.

I've been thinking a lot about Lent 2011, and it's making me very emotional and nostalgic. This day last year I was belly dancing with Anne in utereo. In public. :) And it was just such a special time, with my good friend coming into the Church at the Easter Vigil and us nesting and preparing for Anne's birth. I can't believe it's been a whole year!

*sniffles*