Actual conversation heard outside my office door

I swear it, this really happened, at approximately 9:30 am this morning right outside my office door:

"Hey Susan, how are you?"

"Well, all right, but I was just at my eye doctor, and according to her I'm getting really old and falling to pieces."

!

"Oh ugh, I was there recently too. And you know what she told me? She said I needed BIFOCALS! She actually used the word BIFOCALS! And I said, 'Bifocals? I don't think I need those.' And you know what she said? 'How old are you?'"

!

"And I said 'it's right there in my chart, I'm not saying it out loud!' And she said 'Well, you've reached that magic age that starts with a 4...'"

!

"Well, mine told me that I have cataracts in both eyes. I don't need to do anything right now, but in a few years I'm going to have to deal with it. Boy, I just felt terrible when I left, like I'm getting ancient or something and am just going to keel over at any time!"

Clearly, we are all under attack right now from evil eye doctors.

I think I'm going to need to order some yarn to make myself feel better.