Monday, November 26, 2012

A stuffing crisis and explosive poo - Thanksgiving 2012

I always aim to be funny on this blog, but let me just start out on a serious note by saying that I had an absolutely *fantastic* Thanksgiving weekend. I loved being home with Mike and the kids and it was just sublime. I feel very blessed that Mike and I both have such flexible jobs in that we get to be home so much with each other as a family.

Now I'm back at work and it's Cyber Monday and I'm shocked, SHOCKED I tell you to say that I don't know if I'll be doing my traditional sale yarn order. Could it be, dear reader, that I ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH YARN?! Let's be honest, I have a lot of yarn. But I can never resist sale yarn. However, what I knit most with is worsted weight wool and cotton, and nothing that I really wanted over at Knit Picks is on sale. There is a bunch of cotton on sale, but it's winter, and I really wanted some wool. It seems like mostly sport weight is on sale and I just rarely use sport weight. I mean, I can't believe this.

It's good, though. I bought a bunch of yarn during their summer sale and I can use the money toward Christmas gifts. Now that Advent starts this coming weekend, I'll talk a lot this week about the Christmas season, I have a lot on my mind about that lately. And I've missed you all! So expect lots of lengthy posts this week. :)

Ok, so a recap of this past weekend and the inevitable hilarity that ensues on holidays in my household. We were hosting Thanksgiving this year, and in my eagerness I decided to make stuffing from scratch, which I've never done before. I'm a big fan of Stove Top. But I wanted to feel all pioneer woman and since Mike mostly takes care of our turkey, I decided to contribute the stuffing.

I scoured the Internet for the perfect recipe. There are lots of delicious varieties out there, but I just wanted plain white bread stuffing. Turns out it's not so hard to make. I feel confident.

Wednesday night I saute up a big pan full of celery and onions. Smells delicious already. I break up the bread. I add everything into a big stock pot and pour in the required amount of chicken broth and add the poultry seasoning. Looks good. It seems a bit dry, so I add in some more butter (let's just agree - butter makes EVERYTHING BETTER) and a hair more broth. I stir and taste test. Oh yum. It's delicious. I feel that my existence as a woman is validated.

Except...hum. What started out as a full pot of stuffing had definitely shrunk in the moistening process. I spooned it around a bit, hoping for some loaves and fishes-type multiplication. Nope. I put it in a bowl to stash in the refrigerator overnight so that we could stuff the turkey first thing in the morning. The quantity was definitely less than what I expected based on the gigantic loaf of white bread that I used.

I panic. It's nearly Anne's bedtime and both kids are jammied up. I rush over to Mike.

"I think we need to run to the store."


"There isn't enough stuffing!"


I show him the bowl. He gets that look that he gets when he's going to try and talk me down from the ledge about something.

"I think it's fine, Sweetie. Plus, if you want to make more, can't we just run to the store tomorrow morning?"


"Why not?"

*frustrated pause*

"Because I want to do it right now!"

I don't make much sense when I'm that much on a mission. I was in stuffing mode, and I wanted my mind set at ease about having enough. But in the end I knew that he was right.

I slept on the "stuffing situation," and in the end, decided not to make anymore. We had plenty. Not as much for leftovers as I would have liked (is there anything better than Thanksgiving leftovers?) but we had more than enough.

Crisis averted.

Thanksgiving was a huge success. The kids loved the Macy's parade, and we all enjoyed the dog show that followed. ("woof woof!") Dinner was enjoyed by everyone, and wine was consumed by all.

Black Friday dawned, and I stayed in and safely away from the stores. I was worried that the kids would go stir crazy, but the day was smashing. We ended up running to the public library where Anne played in the toy kitchen they have set up there and Henry got a few videos and books. That night, Henry was having a sleepover at the grandparents, and so it was just Mike, Anne and I. The house felt *quiet* only having 1 kid in it!

We put Anne to bed. We basked in our quiet time. Then we went to bed.

Around 2:30 am I hear Anne. I roll over figuring she will go back to sleep. She does not.

Sometime thereafter I feel Mike nudge me. I grunt at him.

"Should I go get Anne?"

"No, I'll do it."

I stumble out of the bedroom, martyr-like essence following in my wake. I peek through her keyhole (this is a sweet feature of having an older house). If she's laying down, chances are she'll fall back to sleep. She's standing up.

I sigh and open the door. Immediately, rancid air meets my nostrils.

"Hi Mama. Uh oh!" *points to diaper*

Oh, no problem. A poo diaper woke her. I go to fetch her. I spy a pool of brown liquid covering her crib sheet.

Uh oh, indeed.

I turn on the lights and assess the damage. I don't think I've ever seen so much poo in one sitting in all my years of diaper changing, and that's saying a lot. I grab her stuffed puppy dog. HE'S WET. He's immediately relegated to the laundry. I lift Anne out of the crib and strip the sheet off. I'm attempting to peel her sleeper off when Mike exits our bedroom down the hall.

"Oh wow." The smell has now permeated the entire upstairs.

Mike comes to investigate.

"Do you think we should give her a bath?"

"She needs a complete hose down."

Mike runs the bath and disinfects her mattress. The sleeper is so bad that I throw it in the garbage. I had to actually SCRUB DOWN THE OUTSIDE OF THE DIAPER PAIL due to debris while Mike bathed her.

After her bath, I get her in a fresh sleeper while Mike starts a load of laundry and throws the trash. We go downstairs to watch some tv in the darkened living room to let the upstairs...air out a bit.

I find a Friends marathon on Nick-at-Nite. And ugh! The commercials were depressing. The stores were advertising continuing sales for all "Black Friday weekend!"

It's a whole weekend now? Apparently so. The whole thing strikes me as so desperate, it makes me a little sad.

Anne fell back to sleep pretty quick. Somehow, the scent of poo lingered on my nostrils and I could not for the life of me uncover the source. I carried her up to her room and had to wrinkle my nose a bit in her room but most of the smell had dissipated.

Anne's statement on Black Friday? Not sure, but that was EPIC. Honestly though, I enjoyed that particular middle of the night session. Lots of sweet cuddle time and she slept the rest of the night after that. Except for the fact that the next morning I COULD STILL SMELL POO.

Going to take some time to really get rid of this one. But the rest of the weekend was great. I'm trying to do my Christmas shopping and stay within our budget, and I crocheted 12 gift dishcloths this weekend. Why? BECAUSE I'M INSANE. And I have all this yarn, so I should use it up, right?

More Christmas and Advent talk to come this week!

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