Thursday, September 8, 2011

I'm hoping that this swing is an upswing

Well, today is a better morning, and for that I am most grateful. As always, I will detail. :)

When I got home from work yesterday, my spirits were low. I was so tired I could barely drag myself and my ridiculous amount of bags into the house. Happily, though, Henry reported that he'd had a good day at school. He had enjoyed his music class and had used some of his new school supplies for the first time. He told me about the opening school Mass that is scheduled for Friday. I was relieved. Anne was under her Gymini playing with the toys dangling overhead. This is new; literally, it happened overnight. I love that about babies, very exciting all the time. :) She had napped better and seemed to be feeling a little better.

Mike came home as my in-laws were departing, bearing a pizza. We ate and cleaned up and I nursed Anne briefly. Mike helped Henry with his homework while I got the fixins' for chili into the crock pot for the next day and Anne played with her feet. Things were going well until Anne got fussy, interrupting my dinner preparations. I had to put it aside to nurse her more, but I could tell that she was getting tired. Once I got her settled, I finished dinner prep, packed her stuff for daycare and washed all the bottles. Mike gave Henry a bath and got his school stuff ready for the morning. By this time, it was 7 pm and time for the kids to go to bed. I was exhausted.

As I nursed Anne to sleep I contemplated how I was not enjoying the busyness that surrounds our weekday evenings. There's no time for family time. We were all in the kitchen together while I prepared the chili and Mike and Henry did homework, but there's no time to just sit and talk aside from over dinner, when Anne is usually fussing, unfortunately. I'm going to break out her high chair and see if that helps. Maybe she'll like being at the table with us. But anyway, our time together is just all task-oriented. There are a million things that need to be done each evening and no time to let your guard down.

I got Anne to sleep and went downstairs for what is usually the relaxing portion of my day. But last night I knew it would be abridged; I simply *needed* to get some sleep, even at the cost of relinquishing my free time. I got a glass of caffeine-free Diet Coke and some vanilla flavored Goldfish crackers and read my book curled on the couch next to Mike while he watched an episode of Band of Brothers. This is usually when I knit, but I knew it wasn't happening last night. I literally could not have knit two stitches together if someone put a gun to my head. I'm working on a lace scarf for my mom and I think it's bad form to try and knit lace while incapacitated in such a way.

At 8:15 we headed up to bed, since I was falling asleep on the couch anyway. I brushed my teeth and headed right to the bed, curling on my side. And what did I suddenly hear beside me from the bassinette?

The baby. Crying.

This is where the bad part of the story comes into play. :) I totally lost it. I began sobbing hysterically. She had barely been to bed for an hour and had always slept until at least 9:30 or 10, even in the worst depths of the sleep nightmare we're currently going through. Mike came in to find me a puddle of tears, weeping while exclaiming nonsensical half sentences about how I never have time to do anything anymore, including sleep or think, and I was just too exhausted to go on.

He soothed me as best he could and we took turns bouncing Anne for a full hour. Every time one of us would get her to sleep and place her in the bassinette, she'd wake up and start to cry. Then I'd start to cry, too. It was bad.

Finally, around 9:30, she stayed asleep. I grumpily read my book for a few minutes before nodding off. She woke again every 2 hours for the rest of the night, but I'll say this: it was better. If you can believe it, her getting up every 2 hours was actually *better* than what we've been going through for the past week or so. Because she did stay sleeping after she went back. Around 2:30, I brought her in bed with us and that helped as well. When we woke up this morning, all 3 of us felt more rested.

Henry was up at 5:45 (this is why they go to bed at 7 pm :) ) and had breakfast with Mike. Mike had him dressed, fed, and teeth brushed by time he left for work at 6:30. I got up at 6:15 and got Anne and I ready to go, and the crock pot turned on. Henry needs to be at school by 7:40, so we were pulling out of the driveway by 7:30, all 3 of us packed and ready for our day, and I was really patted myself on the back. I had made it.

I dropped Henry off at 7:35 and he seemed happy. I really do think he likes his new school, and I love him being there. They start the day off with prayer and it just feels like such a warm community to me. I'm so glad that he's in Catholic school this year. He walked up to the door all by himself and waved to me and Anne as he went in. My little boy is getting so big.

Then I took Anne to daycare and she also seemed in a really good mood. She was still somewhat stuffy in the night, but I do think she's getting better.

Thank God.

Because otherwise, I'll start crying again.

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