Little girls who cough in the night...

Sunday night/early Monday morning, in the home of the Catholic Librarian:

*Tiffany and Mike blissfully sleeping*

Suddenly...

*cough. cough. coughcoughcough. COUGHCOUGHCOUGH*

Anne has seasonal allergies, and spring is her roughest season. Obviously, I'm sympathetic. It just takes me longer to be enthusiastic about aforementioned sympathies at 2 am. Just like when I had newborns, I wait it out for several minutes, hoping that a miracle will come down from the sky and the child will fall back to sleep on their own. And how many times has THAT ever worked?

*COUGHCOUGHCOUGH*

*long suffering sigh*

I drag myself out of bed and down the stairs. I sleepily fetch Anne's allergy medication, and carefully measure it out. I then drag self back up stairs and into her room. I give her the medicine, some water, an extra pillow to prop her head up more, and tuck her back in.

*jump back into bed*

*sigh of contentment*

*cough. cough. coughcoughcough. COUGHCOUGHCOUGH*

This goes on for what feels like hours while I wait for the medicine to kick in, but in actuality is only 10 minutes. I finally give up on sleep and head back to Anne's room.

"Anne honey, do you want to try and sleep on Mommy's chest so that you'll be propped up?"

Why yes, yes she would.

I lean up against the wall while Anne gets comfortable in my lap. Despite the fact that only 5 seconds have elapsed, my neck is already developing a crink.

"Anne. Are you settled yet?"

"Almost."

*jabs knees into my kidney*

"That's better."

Oh good. At least she's comfortable.

😱

She's not coughing anymore, but she's also not staying STILL.

"Anne."

*removes elbow from ribs*

"Aren't you comfortable yet?"

"Well." *pounds head into sternum* "I'm rather hot, actually."

Oh are you really, actually?

"How about Mommy sleeps on your floor instead? You can stay up here in the bed."

Oh, she likes that idea.

Even though she isn't propped up, this seems to soothe her. I don't want to go back into our bedroom and risk waking Mike, so I adopt Oreo the penguin as my "pillow" and Anne's comforter as my blanket. The crink in my neck has now moved all the way down my back.

*cough. cough. coughcoughcough. COUGHCOUGHCOUGH*

Within about 15 minutes, Anne falls asleep. Guess who is still awake? But come 6:30 am...

"MOMMY!" *head peeks down!* " IT'S MORNIN' TIME!"

She's all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and ready to start her day. I guess that's the 35 year age difference at play. 

😴

And another thing that happens as you get older: I won't fully recover from this bad night for about another, oh, week and half. :0 How was YOUR weekend, dear reader?

What goes on in my house at midnight?

You're hoping this is going to be a post bearing some level of interesting material, right? ;-) Party time?! After all, it *was* a play performance weekend for my adorable Mike.

*fans self*

:0

Be that as it may, unless we have a newborn in the bassinet next to our bed, at midnight we are sleeping 1,000% of the time. Because we are old.

Except this week.

*long suffering sigh*

We are still old, ;-) but our 5 year old has suddenly been having the overnight demands of a new baby. Anne has been very sick with an upper respiratory infection, and while I'm certainly sympathetic, the loss of sleep has definitely been taking a toll on all of us. Mid-week last week, the wakings were because she was feverish and had a terrible sore throat. That lasted into the weekend, and now we've transitioned into the frenetic coughing segment of our current nightmare. Again, I'm very sympathetic, but I do think she has developed a bit of waking habit over the course of the past week, and now just wants company when she is up. Exhibit A:

"MOMMY!"

I stumble in blearily, given that it's 2 am, and the third time I've been up with her that night. The other two consisted of the need for water and more Vicks VapoRub.

"What do you need, Honey?"

"I really like the cupcake leggings you're wearing right now, Mommy. If you find them in my size, would you buy them for me?"

Really? This is the conversation we need to be having right now?

"I guess, yes, Honey. Please go back to sleep, OK?"

"OK Mommy."

*5 minutes elapse*

*door loudly clicks open* *tip toe sounds out in the hallway*

"Anne?! What's wrong?"

"I have to go to the bathroom. So does Oreo."

"Your stuffed penguin?! All right."

*glares!*

Last night we had one legitimate wake up, and then another around 3:30 which Mike tried to field:

"NO DADDY. I WANT MOMMY!"

Flattering? I think she just knows I'm the softer touch.

"Mommy, you just said something to me in my dream. What did you say?!"

Because mind reading is something I excel at in the middle of the night too, apparently.

At any rate, we're all very tired, but we're making it. I have a week off from teaching (which is VERY badly needed), Anne is improving, and I'm looking forward to an INSPIRE post tomorrow! How are YOU doing this late October week, dear reader?

Birthday MONTH continues, because why not?

Right? Who's with me?!

#BirthdayExtensionPartyPlanningCommittee

Given that birthdays lose a bit of their luster after one turns 21, I think that we should refuse to be constrained to a single day. At the very least, birthdays should be celebrated for an entire weekend, but I'm proposing a full month. I plan to keep dredging all of this up until March, so brace yourselves now. ;-)

And indeed, my weekend was filled with lovely birthday festivities. Thursday evening after our Tea Time together, Mike and I went out for dinner. I put on a new dress, and off we headed to the martini bar, where martinis and Italian food were enjoyed by everybody. I opened some more presents when we got back home, and I felt very spoiled and grateful.

Friday featured a few amusing dance anecdotes that perhaps I'll talk about in this week's Tea Time. One involves a professional gig request that is the epitome of what NOT to do, ugh. Yes, that is better conveyed over a soothing cup of tea, I'm thinking. In other dance news, Sword is super thrilled to be taken to class with me each week for our new troupe choreography, and it looks like he and I will be doing a short balanced floorwork segment at the end that he is VERY excited about. He'd better behave himself, that's all I've got to say. He did well in class on Friday, probably because he knew it was my birthday weekend. ;-)

And birthday weekend indeed, as Anne was invited to her very first classmate birthday party on Saturday, which took place at our local science museum. Birthdays for everybody! She was SO cute, running around with the other kids as they made bubbles and ice cream. Oh, the sugar highs that were managed that late afternoon and evening. Anne was absolutely in her element and thrilled to be a part of my things. My dumpling! She's getting so big. *sniffle*

Speaking of Anne's increased maturity, she has decided of late that she would like to get up out of bed and get dressed in the mornings ALL BY THE SELF. This in fact saves me quite a bit of time, I will grant, but the problem has become the following: at 6:30 am this past Saturday, we hear Anne's little sing song voice as she talked to herself while getting dressed, and then the dreaded: CLICK! of her door opening, with that sinking sensation that there is now a LOOSE CHILD IN THE HOUSE.

Can I tell you how many years it has been since I truly got to sleep in, my friends? Many, many years.

So we came up with the ingenious solution of getting Anne a digital clock for her room, and instructing her on not getting out of bed unless the first number was at least a 7:

"There's a 7, Mommy! See it?"

"No, no, darling, that's 6:27, the 7 is at the end. Remember, it has to be the *first* number? The number closest to your little doll of Our Lady."

Saint dolls doing double duty, right there.


"Oh."

"It would be *even better* if that first number was an 8."

Glory be. If only I had thought to do a little creative "daylight savings time" on her clock for the weekends. Clearly, I have lost too many brain cells in this decade-long lack of sleep program.

Naturally, the first time she has stayed in her room past 7 am on the nose was Monday morning when it was time to go back to school. Naturally.

But no need to dwell on the sleepy. Sunday featured the second weekend of Lent, and lots of announcements in our parish bulletin about upcoming instances of Stations of the Cross, Evening Prayer, and a St. Joseph's Table. Catholic Nerd heaven, right there. And later on Sunday, we journeyed north to my absolute favorite family restaurant, Swiss Chalet. You all know how I feel about Swiss Chalet.

*swoons*

We met my parents there and enjoyed our usual fare of rotisserie chicken and homemade french fries. I usually avoid french fries in restaurants, but at Swiss Chalet I indulge, because, you know, THE CHALET SAUCE. You can dip the french fries in there, and that my friends, is a slice of the afterlife. Mike, trying to make us all look bad, ordered the vegetables instead. ;-) But he doesn't like cauliflower, so he offered those to me. I speared one, and paused.

"You're not going to dip that in the chalet sauce, are you?"

He knows me so well. :0

For the record, I didn't. But I thought about it, I won't lie. ;-)

How was your late February weekend, dear reader? Are you thinking spring yet? I'm not *quite* yet, but I can feel the transition approaching in the air. I have a book review coming tomorrow (check the sidebar for deets!) and then I'm going to start the new Marcus Grodi book, Life From Our Land, which discusses spirituality and simple living. Want to join in?

Of well-behaved swords and lack of sleep...

Well hello there, dear reader! I'm not wild about this new schedule yet, as it feels like a long time between Thursday and Tuesday, but it can't be helped. Mondays...

*shudder*

I do have Zumba on Mondays, which is going *splendidly* and delights my whole afternoon. This week, I didn't bump into anybody nor did I get hideously tangled in my own feet by losing track of the combination. I call that a Zumba Win!

But the rest of Mondays? Yeah, no time to blog. So for now, Tuesday through Thursday it is. 

In other news, today is the first day of the Our Lady of Lourdes novena! Head to the link to pray along and get the prayers emailed to you daily. I love it when we pray together!

So, let's see, the weekend. On Friday afternoon I received a call from my ophthalmologist's office that my new reading glasses were in, so I stopped to pick them up. Ta DA!

I like them. And they're not *ah hem* bifocals. I don't like those. And my distance vision isn't poor enough yet for them to make a big difference for me. So, reading glasses it was, and the frames are purple. A match made in heaven.

Friday evening found me back at dance troupe rehearsal, and I felt a lot less rusty this week. We continued our sword choreography, and that too went better this week. Can I even tell you how excited Sword is to be tucked into my trunk each week to accompany me to dance class? He is just pleased as punch. And then he gets a starring role in our choreography, doing lots of dramatic swooping and scooping. Pretty soon we'll get to the balancing part and then he'll *really* get into it. ;-) Right now, we're still working out the logistics of doing a group number with eight women all wielding swords:

"All right, now we all bend inward, swords towards the center...Oh. Brandy's sword is right above my right eyeball, we need to change this part."

:0

Hopefully, by festival season we'll be good to go. No lost limbs or eyeballs.

So then, I get home from dance. I'm all energized and flitting around the house in a good mood. I drink a glass of wine with Mike. Then I hear:

"Mom?" *crying!*

That's not good. I hurry upstairs.The needy party is this one:

Showing off her new Valentine leggings in happier times

Who, when I enter her room, continues to cry, but refuses to tell me what is wrong. Mike and I both work to soothe her for some time. She's had a cold, so I figured it was some discomfort related to that, but it's hard to find a remedy without really knowing what you're dealing with.

Lots of sobbing. So much sobbing. Eventually, we ascertain that her head hurts, and so we administer some ibuprofen. We give her water. Some Vicks on her chest for her cough. Fresh blankets and snuggles. Then we tiptoe back to our room. Ten minutes later:

"Mom?!" *crying!*

*long suffering sigh*

I go back in. More head shaking and crying, zero information parsed out. She simply would not calm down, and so I ended up sleeping in her room. Which means me sleeping on *the floor*, which means every muscle in my body aching the next morning. When you're twenty, you can sleep on floors pretty easily. When you're *delicately clears throat* older than twenty, you cannot.

As if to add insult to injury, in the morning, as I kept my eyes shut and willed sleep that came so rarely over that night, I hear soft whispering start up in the bed above me. An invasion of The Others? Nope, just Anne starting her day. NOW, she wants to talk. I pretend to sleep. Then I feel a not-so-gentle tapping on my shoulder.

"Mom?!"

"How are you feeling, dear?" *bleary*

"I feel great! I slept good! My head doesn't hurt anymore, Mommy!"

Joy. All joy.

She did sleep without interruption the next night, but last night I woke to coughing at around 4:30 am. More water, more Vicks. Ugghhhhh... This winter season of illnesses seems like it will NEVER end. Someone has been coughing in my house for the past six months it seems. Perhaps pestilence is about to sweep through out land next.

All right, how was your weekend? Did you remember your novena prayers today? :-) Tomorrow, I will talk about...hum, I'm not sure. But I'll think of something! And Tea Time on Thursday, I got better at the audio last week, right?! What do you want me to talk about this week? Write in!

A funeral, a weekend of travels with the kids, & a return to Ordinary Time

All! I really miss you when we don't chat for a few days, you know? And I have lots of plans brewing in this little head of mine. More on that coming later in the week. But for now, let's debrief our weekends, yes? Got your coffee?

It's Monday morning, and I'm starting it off with a headache.

#glorious!

I know, I know. It was a bit of a long weekend, and now I'm going into Monday morning being besieged by law students who are stumped by the sources they need to find for the law review. Law students are no slouches when it comes to research, so if they're telling me that "this is the worst list of sources to find that I've ever had!" well...I'm thinking it's going to be a somewhat challenging morning. And they're law students. So they're all intense and such. ;-)

All right, that's my current situation, which isn't altogether pleasant, but it could always be worse, right? So, the weekend. We had a funeral to travel to for a very lovely lady, Mike's grandmother, Eleanor. I just love her name, don't you? Mike and I had talked about that being our girl name when we had Anne. At any rate, Mike's grandmother was 95, she had led a long, full life, but when someone passes away, there's always that sense of loss. Sad.

So, on Friday, we packed up for a 3 hour jaunt to the funeral. The kids were *bouncing off the walls* excited about staying in a hotel. Mike and I, unsurprisingly, did not share that sentiment. ;-)

Only a three hour car ride, WITH entertainment provided, and yet:

"Are we there yet?!"

Some things, my friends, are so incredibly predictable.

We arrive, and the kids exhaust themselves exploring the room and the rest of the hotel. We had a family dinner to attend, and then there was the first of two wake sessions at the funeral home. For Friday night, we decided to have Mike attend and leave me and the kids behind at the hotel, since it would go past Anne's bedtime, plus both kids would attend the second wake and funeral in the morning. Mike brings us back to the hotel and then departs. I was exhausted and hoping for a quiet evening of Downton Abbey mystery crochet-along crocheting, as I had brought Clue 1 along with me.

"Who wants to watch a movie?!"

My friends, when that suggestions gets met by a resounding declination, you know that you are in for a long, long evening.

That about sums it up, right there. Our room was small, and yet they wanted to do nothing but run around and "find new things!" I know that this type of stuff is good for kids, but solidarity over the parental exhaustion quota, yes?

And that overnight? I'm steeling myself now, even just to recount it. :0 Mike and I are in one bed, and he is still coughing, dear, sweet, adorable soul that he is. Henry and Anne are in the other. Anne collapsed from sheer exhaustion around 9:30 pm. At around 10, the rest of us attempt to sleep. Henry climbs into bed with a pout face:

"She's taking up so much room!"

"Yes, I know Henry, I have slept with Anne before, so I'm aware of the problem. Just gently move her over, and it'll be fine."

I could have gone on and on about how I had Anne *in my body* for 9 months and thus are keenly aware of how uncomfortable she can make things, but I resisted.

*halo*

I attempt to drift off. I can hear Mike trying to suppress his cough, poor darling. And then..

*rustle...rustle. Rustle. Rustlerustlerustlerustlerustlerustlerustle!!!!*

"HENRY. What are you doing?"

"I can't get comfortable! Anne keeps moving her legs!"

"Well, don't move around so much Honey, you're keeping us all up. Move her over! She won't wake up."

She sleeps like a rock, that Anne. I drift off...

*rustle...rustle. Rustle. Rustlerustlerustlerustlerustlerustlerustle!!!!*

"Henry. Why don't you try the sleeping bag on the floor?"

We had packed it just in case this very thing happened.

*lots more noise as Henry bumps around the room in the dark, fetching and rolling out the sleeping bag*

"Good. Now go to sleep."

I drift off...

*rustle...rustle. Rustle. Rustlerustlerustlerustlerustlerustlerustle!!!!*

This went on for some time, Henry eventually transitioning back into the bed with Anne, lots of nostril flaring coming from myself. More coughing from precious Mike. MORE RUSTLING.

Eventually, I had drifted off and then been woken so many times I was convinced it must be close to morning and maybe I'd just get up and go down to the lobby for a cup of coffee and some crocheting. The time?

I look at the clock, hope alive in my heart. 10:55. PM.

I think at least a dozen souls were released from purgatory right at that moment, kind and gentle readers.

It was a L.O.N.G night. And no rest for the weary, since we had the wake and funeral ahead of us in the morning. Along with that, tons of visiting with family that we don't get to see often, which while wonderful, is incredibly draining for introverted types like Mike and I.

The time at the funeral home was simple and very beautiful. There were lovely photographs set up of Mike's grandma throughout her life, and we spent a lot of time looking at each of them, Mike filling me in on what was going on in many of the photos.

After the funeral service, we attended a luncheon in her honor, with more family visiting. It was fantastic to catch up with everyone, but needless to say that by the end of the say, we were pretty tired again. I was bracing myself for the overnight, but things actually ended up working out much better. My in-laws were staying in the room next to us, and they let Henry sleep in the second bed in their room so that each kid had a bed to themselves.

Can I get an Amen?

Yesterday was consumed with lots of laundry and getting settled and ready for the Monday routine. Also, look at that, we're back to Ordinary Time on the liturgical calendar! Not for long though, as Lent begins February 10th this year.

But speaking of this very topic, today is my day over at Catholic Mom, and this month my piece discusses the feast of the Baptism of the Lord, and the end of the Christmas season. I would for you to check it out and leave me a comment over there!

All right, my friends, back to work for me. But good stuff to come this week, including a crafty post on the Downton Abbey mystery knit- and crochet-alongs! I know a few of you were going to be participating, so I'm counting on you to let me know how it's going for you! I'll have photos too of my progress, and would love to see yours!

Of sour faces & not much sleep on Halloween night...

Annual jack o' lantern. Isn't he scary?! ;-)

Hello all, and happy commemoration of All Souls! I hope that you had a great Halloween and feast of All Saints. Mine was *pretty* good :0 but had it's ups and downs. I definitely want to know how YOURS was, so chime in down in the comments! But what amusement awaited me this particular Halloween? Read on, dear reader.

All right, so Halloween is traditionally a bad weather day around here in WNY. It's rained the past two years, and this year was shaping up to be no exception, with gray skies and wind abounding. Meanwhile, inside our house, a storm cloud was perched firmly over my daughter's head. She was not feeling 100%, with new cold-like symptoms developing, and expressed dissatisfaction with some of her costume details. Every Halloween, right around 6 pm, somebody in our house is crying. Every.single.year. :0

Here's the Catholic Librarian crew, just prior to the festivities beginning:

Anne initially refused to pose for the picture and only Daddy's coaxing made this happen...

We worked our way through Anne's temper, and thankfully the sprinkles had dissipated by time trick-or-treating was upon us. As is our norm, I took the kids out to gather candy while Mike stayed behind to hand out treats. Anne had perked up, and delightedly moved from house to house. Henry, nearly 10 now, has moved on to the "morose" stage of his life. ;-) He was feeling rather mortified, I think, to be trick-or-treating with Anne and I, but it's not like we forced him, he just hadn't booked any other plans. :-) We covered good ground, running into two little girls dressed as Elsa from Frozen, companions to Anne's own Anna costume. One of the moms was just delighted:

"Look. IT'S ANNA!! You two found each other!!"

Very cute.

At any rate, we made our way through our regular route, and then Mommy was very happy to head home with 2 tired, but sugared up, kids in tow, and an empty "water bottle." By the time we got the kids settled and in bed, it was much later than usual. And we were hoping for some relaxing time. ;-) We head upstairs.

Approximately 25 seconds later...

"What's that?! I think it's Anne."

"No it isn't!!"

Denial is always the first reaction I have when children wake up anytime within the 9 pm to 7 am span.

"It is. Let me see if I can soothe her real fast."

*5 very long minutes elapse*

"I don't know what's wrong. She's crying. And she won't talk."

Great.

But I figure, Mommy's Powers sometimes dwarf Daddy's Powers when it comes to night soothings. I head in, feeling confident:

"Anne, what's wrong, Honey?"

*violent shaking of head*

I have another moment of unease when I see that sunny little Anne looks like something straight out of The Exorcist, hair sticking up, eyes wild, thrashing limbs. All offers of water, back rubs, application of Vick's VapoRub, extra pillows and snuggles are resoundly rejected. She won't say what's wrong, nor will she stop wailing. Relaxation time is officially over.

She refuses to stop crying unless I sleep in her room, and let me tell you: Bodies over 25 years of age are NOT meant to sleep on the floor anymore. Every muscle in my body ached the next day. But there I stayed until about 3:30 am. In between being woken to be asked:

"Is it morning time yet?"

"NO dear, let's go back to sleep, OK Muffin?!"

At 3:30 am, Anne started coughing. And coughing and coughing. I knew she wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep with it that bad. So she and I headed downstairs for cough drops, fresh water, and to prop up on the couch for some Golden Girls viewing while we waited for the coughing attack to pass. She very happily set up shop at one end of the couch, while I curled up on the other. I own the full Golden Girls collection on DVD, so I popped in a disk and hit "PLAY ALL." Glorious, so glorious, I tell you. Three hours of soothing Golden Girls hilarity followed in the background.

After assuring that Anne had finished her cough drop, she and I propped up on pillows to try and fall asleep. Anne has gotten quite long legged of late, and soon she was stretched out and taking up 95% of the sofa, snoring loudly without a care in the world. I was curled into the fetal position on the other end, dreaming of being able to move my legs. I woke up at 6:30 when Mike came downstairs, my poor legs having moved onto *the coffee table* in an effort to not be twisted like a pretzel any longer.

Anne was still asleep and he took the reigns from there, allowing me to go upstairs to try and sleep for an hour or so. The time change couldn't have come on a better night.

I was undecided as to whether to go to Mass or not given how little sleep I had gotten, but ultimately I ended up going, and I am SO GLAD that I did. As ever, it cheered me right up. After Mass, I spent the afternoon following football and making my mother's patented recipe for chicken soup with meatballs, which proved incredibly soothing. And then I was exhausted and ready for bed well before 9 pm. :)

Hence, there were some fun moments, but my Halloween was a bit tiring this year. How was yours? Do detail in the comments. :)

Let's blearily pray the St. Therese novena together, shall we?

Last night, when I tucked Anne in bed, I had that Knowing Mother Moment, kwim? She had had a sore throat earlier in the day that I attributed to seasonal allergies. She perked up as the day wore on, and had normal energy and appetite levels, but by bedtime was looking worse for the wear. She complained about her nose, and started coughing. Ugh. I gave her a dose of her prescribed allergy medication, had her blow her nose, and got her a cup of water. I got her all soothed and tucked in, but I Knew.

Later, I went upstairs slightly ahead of Mike to prepare for bed, happily listening to a podcast with my earbuds in. When Mike came up 10 minutes later, I could see that he was trying to talk to me, so I took a bud out:

"What's up?"

"Anne's crying."

"She is?"

See? Once again, when you no longer have infants in your house, you totally turn off that Will I Ever Sleep Again?! frenzied mode, and go back to Normal Sleep, Thank You Jesus, mode. I did suspect that we would hear from Anne in the night, but my traumatized mind was still repressing that possibility.

So, we banded together for a soothe session, figuring we could get her cleaned up and comforted and back to sleep in no time. Isn't it funny that even after 10 years of parenting, we are still so naive?

"Sweetheart! We're here, what's wrong?"

*intensified crying*

"Does your head hurt, Honey? Why don't we get a tissue so you can blow your nose."

*dramatic shake of head indicating "NO"*

"How about some more water? It'll soothe your throat."

*More head shakes* Rinse And Repeat.

She refused to talk to us, yet managed to reject every single offer of comfort we suggested. It's a skill, that is.

We did what we could, and left her bedroom. 20 minutes later, we hear crying again. I go in, and we have a repeat of our earlier interaction, complete with dramatic thrashing of blanket. She still wouldn't really let me help her, but I got her to stop crying, and went back to bed. Unsurprisingly (since Anne has *always* had this skill, from the moment she was born), the INSTANT I became completely exhausted and drifted off...

*crying*

*Tiffany assumes a position of denial*

*more crying!*

Sigh.

And I KNEW. When you're up with a newborn all the time, you pretty much can sleep anytime, anywhere, because you're so exhausted. All the time. For like, a YEAR. But when you're not in that mode anymore, you have that one perfect opportunity to fall asleep. Once that passes, it's allllllll over, friends. I was awake, and I knew I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep.

I went into Anne's room, and this time she did allow me to help her blow her nose and do other things to make her more comfortable. After that, I went back to bed beside a comfortably sleeping Mike. I didn't have the heart to wake him.

 I read for a bit, hoping to get re-tired, but all to no avail. During the next two hour stretch, one further intervention was required in Anne's room, but then I could tell she fell more deeply asleep, and she was fine for the rest of the night. Me, on the other hand, stayed awake for another hour before finally dozing off, and I really had to force it. Naturally, when 6 am rolled around, I was SOUND ASLEEP, totally incoherent, and could have slept for another five hours, easy.

*nostril flare*

That's just the way it is sometimes. But it was a long night. I suspect now that Anne has a cold and not seasonal allergy symptoms. Lots of snuggling will follow tonight.

So I was pretty bleary-eyed this morning as I got ready for work, but I'm persevering. Today is the first day of the St. Therese novena, and guess what? Pray More Novenas now has the prayers available as a podcast, so for those of you who wanted audio to keep up with the novena prayers themselves, this is a huge yay, right?! Here you are, have at it! Go forth and subscribe! If you'd like audio for St. Therese's chaplet, you can pray along with your host, little old me ;-) over here. Fun, yes?

All right, I need to plug along with my day. Mike and I are attending Henry's school open house tonight, and I have lots to do at work. I'll be talking to you again tomorrow or Thursday!

How are you all? How is the first day of the novena going for you?

In the home of the Catholic Librarian at 4 am...

*blissful blackness*

"Mommy!" *loud crying*

Huh, that's weird. Apparently I'm having a dream, and there is a crying child in it. Oh wait. That's not a dream, that's my life.

*Mike mumbles in his sleep and rolls over*

Looks like I'm getting up.

I stumble out of bed and into Anne's room.

"Hi Honey, what's wrong?"

"Mommy, can you stay in here for a very long time?"

*saucer eyes*

"Well Sweetheart, we really should all be sleeping. Is something wrong?"

"No, I just want you to read me a book."

"Wellllll, why don't we just go back to sleep, Sweetheart? It'll be time to get up in just a few hours, and then we can have our bowl of cereal together. Won't that be nice?"

My answer is a dubious expression.

"Mommy, can you bring me something from your room to hold?"

Her bed already has more dolls and stuffed animals in it than it can comfortably accommodate, but this bothers her not one bit.

"Do you want me to bring Tennis Baby back to you?"

She had loaned me "Tennis Baby" (not sure how the doll received this name, exactly) to care for overnight while she slumbered with her larger doll, Bernadette.

"Ok. Wait. No, it's all right, Mommy. I'll be all right here with Bernadette."

*curls up on her side*

Awwwwwwwww. I re-covered her and rubbed her back for a minute before swooping in for lots of kisses and heading back to my own bed. SO.SWEET. It made me think back to when she was a newborn and not nearly so reasonable to deal with in the middle of the night. :0 I went back to sleep pretty quickly too, so all was well. I love precious moments such as these.

Tales from an evening with an overtired 3 year old...

In the home of the Catholic Librarian at approximately 7:30 pm last night:

"Anne, it's time for bed, Honey."

*Henry looks gleeful*

"But I'm not tired Mommy."

*eyes droop*

"Well, you will be when you get up there. Gather Bernadette and let's go."

Bernadette is her new baby doll's name. Isn't that precious?

"But I DON'T WANT TO MOMMY."

*sassy face*

We're getting precariously close to what I call her Village of the Damned expression, so I tread carefully, not wanting to cause devastation to fall down upon my evening. Mike is at play rehearsal, and I like to enjoy the short bit of quiet time built into that schedule between when the kids go to bed and when he gets home.

"Mommy will read you two books upstairs."

"The big Frozen book?!"

I am sick to death of the big Frozen book and she knows it, so she's seriously taking advantage of the situation.

*long suffering sigh*

"Yes, one of them can be the big Frozen book. But let's get upstairs and get your jammies on."

We proceed upstairs, Bernadette in tow. Sleeper is applied, teeth are brushed. Stuffed animals and dolls are organized onto the bed. We snuggle in and read the big Frozen book which is FREAKING LONG, but I'm banking on my quiet time to come.

"Ok Mommy, now Winter Days in the Big Woods!"

We read Winter Days in the Big Woods.

"Ok Honey, time for bed."

"But Mommy."

I knew this was coming.

"Can't you read me A Little Women Christmas? PLEASE Mommy?!"

Oh sigh. Even *I* enjoy A Little Women Christmas.

"All right, but that's absolutely it! No more books after that, Mommy's voice is tired."

Mommy's whole body is tired, but never mind that.

"Ok Mommy."

We read A Little Women Christmas.

"Time for bed, Anne."

"OK."

She snuggles in with all of her friends. A good night kiss is administered and away I go, off to the freedom that is my spot on the couch, beside my knitting and a glass of Chardonnay. I still have to get Henry to bed in a bit, but that's cake.

30 minutes later...

*wailing*

Oh sigh.

"Anne, are you OK, Honey?"

No response. *more crying*

"What's wrong, Sweetie?"

*shaking of head ensues*

"Can't you tell Mommy what's wrong, Honey?"

"It's, it's...ST. THERESE!! I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT HER!!"

St. Therese is her beloved saint softie that she sleeps with each night:

"Well, St. Therese is right here, Honey. She's OK."

"I know, but she fell, and I could not find her! I was SO SCARED MOMMY!"

"Ok Sweetie, well St. Therese is all safe now. Can I tuck you both back into bed?"

*soothing hair stroke*

"NO. I don't want to go to sleep now, Mommy. I WANT TO STAY WITH YOU."

Well. This is not headed *anywhere* good.

"Can I go with you to read a story about a saint with Henry, Mommy?"

"I suppose." *offers it up*

Saint stories ensue in Henry's room, then I tuck them each into bed. By this point, Anne is more tired and a bit more amenable to going back to her bed. As I close her door, I hear the opening chords of "Holly Jolly Christmas" start up in her lilting voice.

A half an hour later, when Mike gets home, SHE'S STILL SINGING.

*another sigh*

We're all tired come morning.

Joy.

In the home of the Catholic Librarian during the wee hours of Thursday morning...

It became apparent yesterday evening that Anne wasn't cutting a late two-year molar: she was coming down with something.

*groans*

Now, the poor babe. I felt terribly sorry for her as she struggled to blow her adorable little nose and generally looked like a limp noodle. But I knew what this meant...

No sleep for us. :0

It's legit and everything, but I'm better able to deal with a lack of sleep when I'm not currently sleep deprived, know what I'm saying. ;-) So, come 2 am, it's tough no matter how sympathetic the conditions. And so the night transpired as follows:

7:30 pm: Anne goes up to bed. She demands two stories instead of just one and I oblige her. I tuck her in and she seems fine, but I know that stuffy little nose is going to be trouble later on in the night. I have her blow it as best she can.

11 pm: Anne awakens and demands that Mike read her a story. He obliges her.

1 am: Anne awakens. Mike goes in and soothes. 

2 am: Anne awakens and I go in. She's terribly stuffy and miserable. I rub her back and soothe her a bit, and she falls back to sleep. Noisily.

4 am: Anne awakens. I can tell by the surly nature of her cries that the chances of her going back to sleep are approximately 0%.  I go in with my pillow so that I can sleep on the floor next to her bed, hoping this will provide the impetus for some sleep to be had by both of us. I do a soothe, and set up my pillow along with a big quilt to lay down in the small space between her bed and dresser.

"Mommy's here Honey, so everything is fine. I'm going to sleep right here next to you."

"Mommy, can I come down there?!"

"Oh no, Honey! You're nice and cozy in your bed. Mommy will be right here. There's not a lot of room down here."

*feverish little face peeks over the edge of the bed*

"But Mommy. I WANT TO BE RIGHT BESIDE YOU!!"

Well then. I could feel the love. :0 But I wasn't feeling The Sleep, that's for sure.

"It's ok, Honey, I'll come into your bed."

Within seconds I was squashed up against the wall in her twin bed, hot toddler breath on my face. Soon, lots of little body position changes were taking place, and various limbs were jammed into my rib cage.

*flashes back to being pregnant*

Not much sleep ensued for either of us, to be sure, but at least I got to lie down. And stay warm, it was ROASTING in her little room. No wonder her cheeks are always so pink. :0

She was pretty miserable by 6:30 am, tossing and turning like crazy, and so we were up for the day.

"Here Honey, let me get you dressed. I'll make you some eggs for breakfast."

"I don't WANT to get dressed!!"

It's nice to know that some things never change, yes? :0

She seemed to perk up a little after eating and having some orange juice, but she's clearly not anywhere near 100%. I'll baby her this evening lots. After that, I have late dinner plans with some girlfriends from college and thus will get a short nursemaid respite for good Middle Eastern food, wine and conversation.

Here's hoping that we get some sleep tonight.

*weak smile*

WE FINALLY SLEPT! And sacred journeys...

It was a bit of a scene convincing Anne to use the restroom prior to getting into bed last night (vodka tonic mixed *immediately* thereafter), but it was worth it. Because...

SHE SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT! And all I have to say about that is:

We needed that SO badly. All of us were exhausted and cranky. Including Anne. ;-) She got up this morning all pink-cheeked and chirpy, kissing everybody and eating her breakfast happily with nary a cup of orange juice thrown about in a fit of temper. She even got dressed without sobbing and throwing her body to the floor. It was blissful.

Hence, *I* was feeling happy and awake as I got ready for work this morning, and guess what I listened to while I did so? The Catholic Vitamins podcast, and this week's episode "Catholic Vitamin S - Sacred" features my dear Twitter friend Mike Gannon! He's entering the Discalced Carmelite Friars of Holy Hill, Wisconsin as a postulant this Saturday, the feast of All Saints. During his Catholic Vitamins interview, Mike talks with the wonderful Deacon Tom Fox about his vocation story, and as you all know, I *adore* vocation stories. It's an excellent conversation, and I demand that you all go and listen to it. ;-) I have it linked above, but you can also find it on iTunes if you search for "Catholic Vitamins," it's the most recent episode right now.

I have prayed for dear Mike and his vocation, and so I was beaming with pride as he described his call to religious life and how it all came together. I know that I am not alone in saying that I will sincerely miss his thoughtful and insightful contributions to the Catholic community on Twitter, but I am so, SO happy and excited for him. His official entrance will be with Evening Prayer on All Saints day, so let's all bring him to mind Saturday evening and wing up a prayer for him and his vocation, yes? I have his new snail mail address, and plan to keep in touch via prayer requests and general life updates, and I couldn't be more pleased to have a friend who is a Friar. :0

My husband Mike is very amused by the sheer number of priests, nuns and monks that I know. :) Social media is such a wonderful thing!

Before I sign off, I wanted to add that as I listened to Mike's story this morning, it struck me that our vocations indeed are ever deepening. Discerning one's vocation initially is certainly a major thing, but it doesn't end there. Whether a person is called to religious, married or single life, our vocation is something that we should continue to contemplate on a daily basis to determine how God wants us to fully live out that vocation. Our vocational journey is certainly a lifelong one, to be sure. As a wife and mother, I am often thinking about how I can do better.

Wonderful fodder for a Wednesday morning. Do you have any thoughts on vocations and discernment? Leave a comment. :)

Great commandments & loss of sleep - 30th Sunday in Ordinary Time :0

Little girls with sassy faces have been making things difficult for me of late. ;-) Let's chronicle, and I already have a GIANT mug of tea due to the fact that I am freezing my face off  in my office as the heat is not working. AGAIN. It seems to me that this happens every single year in the library as we move from autumn to winter, but who's counting?

*glares*

At any rate, I had a beautiful weekend. We raked leaves and pulled up the vegetable garden for the season. We made tea and hot chocolate to keep the chill out. Every October, Mike and I watch classic scary movies leading up to Halloween, and this weekend we watched Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho. We made drinks and had a grand time. We also watched a bit of the World Series and some football yesterday.

Our daughter, however, at three and a half, is going through one of those spells whereby she suddenly is getting up in the night needing intervention. I remember going through this with Henry too. Our children seem to do the following with regard to sleep:

Year 1: They do not sleep. They nurse and wake frequently and I cry a lot.

Year 2: A switch is flipped. They sleep a normal night and I give thanks to God. *angels sing*

Sometime shortly before Year 3: Insidious fears creep in and they start to (a) refuse to go to sleep at bedtime, and/or (b) wake in the night crying, wanting to be soothed. I begin to wonder if I have done something to offend God. :0 Although much easier to manage than Year 1, after a year of getting normal sleep, it is difficult to transition back to the wakings.

And that's just how it goes. Sometimes, she only wakes once in an entire month. Other times, like what we're going through right now, she wakes every single night for weeks on end. And when I'm out of practice on this boot camp-like interrupted sleep thing that all parents go through, I feel so much more out-of-sorts when I wake. I'm dreaming, and suddenly somebody else's baby is there, crying. Dream Tiffany thinks "where did that baby come from?! Nobody was in this weird, ethereal building a minute ago!!" And then I realize that I am not dreaming, and that that baby is my very own real life toddler who is starting to get angry that nobody has come to her rescue yet.

Last night, Mike was the knight in shining armor by offering to get up instead of me. I hear him open Anne's door and greet her sweetly, and I then I hear:

"I WANT MY MOM."

Anne has this way of making you feel like she doesn't even know you if she's in a bad enough mood. :0 Mike soothed, and she was quiet when he left the room, but 10 minutes later...

*wailing*

I go in, and apparently the situation was quite urgent:

"MOMMY! Ernie has shoes on. How can I take them off?!"

Poor stuffed Ernie. Doomed to permanently wear shoes for all eternity. But more so than Ernie, POOR MIKE AND TIFFANY. It was over an hour before we were all back sleeping. And this morning she was an absolute *entity* of overtired, negative energy.

So, let's backtrack to Sunday Mass. She hadn't sleep well Saturday night either, so apply the above to 10:30 am Mass. :0 We are exhorted in the readings to love God and our neighbor, and so your beleaguered Catholic Librarian was trying to implement both. We had:

• 2 demands to use the restroom.
• Lots of climbing.
• Arguing with, and pushing of, Henry.
• Refusals to sit down.
• Loud stage whispering involving when she will be big enough to ride roller coasters. Really pressing issues such as those.

It was a LONG hour. :0 We did have one nice moment in which, after snatching the prayer cards I use as bookmarks in my Magnificat, Anne proclaimed that she loves the image of Our Lady Star of the Sea, which pleased me greatly. :) I needed the encouragement at that point.

We made it through, but barely. I'm hoping that this stage passes mercifully quickly.

How was your weekend dear reader? Leave me a comment. :)

Reflections on the 20th Sunday in Ordinary Time with small children in tow...

Oy. :) This was a bit of a long weekend. Why, you reasonably ask? Well, there's a lot going on right now between work getting busier for me with classes starting next week, prep work heating up for Mike since he will start teaching (a record 6 classes) again next week, and a minor health crisis with my father-in-law. And the children. Well, let me correct that. Henry really isn't the problem. :0 It's *our daughter*, but we'll come back to that in a moment.

Friday and Saturday were just really long days, chock full of summer activities. While fun, I was feeling a bit drained by Sunday. So, let's talk about Sunday. I feel like we're at a bit of a crucial point in this long stretch of Ordinary Time. We just passed the Feast of the Assumption, always a high point of late summer for me. Once September begins, tons of good saint feast days come upon us, and it seems like Advent is right around the corner. Right now, we're at this point wherein most of the church musicians are off rotation until after Labor Day and parish activities are still in slow mode with Vacation Bible School wrapped up, but transition back to the hectic nature of the fall is in the air. We should enjoy these last quiet moments.

And so I brought the children to Mass on Sunday longing for that spiritual respite. For the most part, I received it. It's hard to hear the readings when every week I'm inevitably in the bathroom assisting Anne on the potty (I know all you parents of toddlers feel my pain :0) but my kids really are pretty good during Mass and I get to hear and enjoy a lot of it. Anne started to throw a fit when we arrived because I denied her permission to abscond with free, blessed plastic rosary #3,587 in the side vestibule, but a stern talking to before entering the sanctuary seemed to do the trick. Henry whined a bit on the ride over about "having to go to church AGAIN!! Weren't we just here?!" but he piped down and was well-behaved, especially with the promise that he could light a candle after Mass. Poor Henry also was low on clean laundry when we left the house and was horrified by the pants I made him wear - which is to say a pant-item made of something other than denim. These were DRESSY PANTS, dredged from the back of his closet in desperation, and he wasn't happy.

"Mommy. These pants...don't fit me real good."

I turn with a squirming Anne tucked under my arm to survey Henry walking rather oddly.

"What do you mean, Honey?"

"Well. They kind of...hurt. I think they're, ouch! Too tight."

"Oh. Well, it's too late to turn back, Honey. We're already running late. Can you just unbutton them?"

*Henry looks scandalized*

"I can't *unbutton* them!"

"Your shirt will cover it up, Honey, and at least that way you'll be more comfortable."

He wasn't happy, but he acquiesced. And Anne was pretty good, although she has started trying to hoard the collection envelope and requires intervention at that time to make sure the envelope actually gets into the basket. She always seems just on the very edge of a tantrum when I do this, but so far no meltdowns, for which we should all kneel down and thank God.

All went well, and the kids did team up to light a candle at the conclusion of Mass ("I want to hold the candle!" "Anne, give it to me." "NO!" "Well, I'll put the money in, but you have to give it to me when we get out by the altar." "NO!" "Anne! Mommy, make her give me the candle!"), and after praying by the side of the altar near the candle stand, I felt at peace. That lasted well into the day, through my afternoon of working on re-wrapping my nephew Andrew's birthday rosary (pictured above) since the wire wraps in my first attempt weren't lookin' so good, cooking a big dinner for us and my parents, and readying the kids for bed while Mike went to visit his dad at the hospital (aforementioned minor health crisis).

Until it ended. *INSERT LARGE SIGH HERE* We had:

(1) Anne refusing to fall asleep. This required 3 hours of tag team intervention by Mike and I.

(2) An alarm blaring at midnight from the vicinity of the downstairs. Some little fingers had obviously turned it on in the guest room during the day at some point. Any guess as to who that could have been?! I was in a stupor and incorporated the noise into my dream, so Mike fielded this one.

(3) 1:30 am: *Anne is crying* Given that Mike handled the alarm, I stumble into Anne's room to see what the what is. Sometimes she just needs an extra cuddle or a diaper change. Not that time, my friends.

"Anne, what's wrong, Honey?"

*Anne looks mutinous*

"Mommy. I AM NOT SLEEPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Heretofore began a battle which entailed a full out temper tantrum (mostly by Anne :0) with lots of sobbing and throwing of body on the floor. Mike came in to try and relieve me, which went as predictably poorly as any reasonable measure could have at that point ("NO DADDY! NO DADDY!"). Eventually, I just left her in there and went back to bed, feeling like a terrible mother. I don't think a person ever feels like a good mother when they are exhausted, it's 3 am, and your toddler appears possessed, you know?  When Mike went in a second time, she was too exhausted to put up much of a fight, and things were fine after that. But by that point it was nearly 4 am and we were wide awake. When it was time to get up for work near 7 am, I felt like death warmed over. So, so not fun, gentle reader.

When I finally managed to drag myself into work, I cracked open my Magnificat at my desk in an effort to perk myself up. I just renewed my subscription by the way, love this thing. :) And the reflection for yesterday's Gospel included this:

"...We are now beginning in very earnest to experience the contemplation which consists in suffering with Christ, and the way to sanctify it is not so much to suffer with him as to ask him to let us realize that he it is who suffers in us. For, this understood, we cannot help abandoning our will to his completely, and letting him suffer in us in his way, and his way is the way of love. Complete though it is, in his grief there is no bitterness; and what seems to be frustration and waste is not, it is fruitful; this is because every moment of his Passion is informed by love."

And yep, made me feel so much better. Sublime. I feel strengthened for the evening and have hope that things will get a little easier. I know it's a small thing, this Terrible Two's universe I'm living in right now, but emotionally it can take it's toll over a long stretch, especially when combined with a bunch of other anxieties.

But, with faith, I'm getting there, and I hope to have an amusing and non-sleep deprived anecdote to share tomorrow. Hope springs eternal. :)

How was your weekend?

Some quick Thursday thoughts, because I'm off tomorrow & too tired to be coherent...

Oy. Sleep deprivation Thursday, should I make a new hashtag?!

#SDT

Um, no, that just looks wrong and far too similar to another acronym that we don't want to get into here on this blog :0 so let's move along, shall we?

I'll come back to the reason for the sleep deprivation in a moment, but I'm taking tomorrow off to spend the day at a local amusement park with Mike and the kids (fun! hopefully ;-)), so no blogging for me until Monday. I hope that you'll miss me, and that will comfort me in my exhausted, cranky state. So, what's going on with your Catholic Librarian?

My daughter. Who is 3, remember the fun that that entails? Well, she recently switched from her crib to a big girl bed. And she seems to love sleeping in her new bed. Good, right?

WRONG. She loves sleeping in her bed once she's *sleeping*, but getting her to lay down and go to sleep is another story. A very unfortunate theme has developed with regard to her nighttime routine of late:

We put on comfy jammies. We brush little choppers. We read stories. We assemble stuffed animals and baby dolls. We tuck everyone in. We go back downstairs to fetch fervently requested random items to slip under the pillow, such as crocheted Easter eggs or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle figurines. We get a sip of water. We turn on the nightlight and close the drapes. We kiss and hug. We cradle. We say good night. Then...

*Anne stands up on bed*

"Mommy. I AM NOT SLEEPY!"

Mike and I have developed a tag team Good Cop/Bad Cop routine that has worked in the past, but last night? Not so much. We took turns attending to the situation, interspersed with stretches of her screaming upstairs by herself, and by nearly 10 pm this was STILL ONGOING. Even *wine drinking* wasn't possible to fortify our strength because the situation was so dire. People, this is NOT RIGHT!! :0 It was a *very.long* evening. I was dying to talk to Mike, because he got offered some last minute additional classes to teach at one of the local community colleges, but we couldn't hear ourselves think. We agreed to talk in the morning, after we had a night of rest to aid in our recovery.

6 am. BAM!

*Anne is crying*

uuuuugggghhhhhh. Between our late bedtime and early wake up call I'm even *more* tired now than I was last night. And Anne, of course, is extremely overtired and on the brink of a meltdown at any given moment. Oh joy. And then when I'm tired in the mornings, *this* happens:

Out of control hair, because sleep deprived people should not wield electric straighteners. Also note the bags under the eyes. :0

I'm hoping that we all get plenty of rest tonight. Tomorrow, we have the amusement park, then I have dance. And yay! The new copper skirt I ordered has been shipped. :) Will report in on that next week. I'm also reading some new books, one of which is the August installment in the Big Sky Centennial series:

I am really enjoying these books, and love that they are set in the very month that I am reading them. :) I just adore seasonal touches to stories. I have the full series set to download to my Kindle on the first of each month. *bliss*

We have some other stuff planned with the kids this weekend too, including a visit to my grandmother and carnival at the parish affiliated with Henry's school. I will report in all the details on Monday. Until then, dear reader!

"Mommy, I am NOT GOING TO SLEEP"

Good heavens.

Lately, it seems like it takes an act of Congress to convince Anne that it's bedtime.

"Would you read me Franklin and the Thunderstorm Mommy?"

"We just read it, Honey."

"Would you read another book?"

"We just read 3, Sweetheart, Mommy's voice is tired."

"Can I have some water, Mommy?"

"You have a little in your sippy cup right there, Honey."

"Can I have a book in my crib, Mommy?"

"Yes, sure."

"Can I have Tennis Baby, Mommy?" I have no notion of how this poor baby doll got named "Tennis Baby" but there you have it.

"Yes Honey, here she is. And Muffin is there too, you're all set. Let me cover you."

"No."

"Why not Honey? You'll be all cozy."

"Because I am NOT going to sleep, Mommy."

Is this a summer thing? Because it stays light so much longer? I don't know, but I've been beside myself all week. It'll be 9 pm and I'll still hear here awake. Last night, she busted out "Ba Ba Black Sheep" *after 10 pm*. I think she had dozed and re-woke, but still. It has not been like this for the rest of the year. And as a result of not getting enough sleep, she's sassy and miserable during the day.

Sassy.

Bossy.

Demanding.

Willful.

This benefits nobody, my friends. She's 3 years and 2 months. Maybe we should adjust her nap? Will it just magically get better in the fall? I need some advice here, people. :0

UGH

I wish I could think of something interesting to write about, but unfortunately I'm running on fumes. Another epically bad night with Anne. All I can say is that my Liturgy of the Hours commitment is all that is holding me together, and that's fine. It is Lent, after all. :)

We do have some fun things planned for the weekend. A craft show tomorrow, I have Children's Liturgy of the Word on Sunday, followed by a birthday party at the zoo. We all get in for free, so while Henry is at the party, Mike and I are going to take Anne around to see some animals. It should be really fun.

I've got a long week of teaching ahead of me next week. I can't say I'm looking forward to that, but it is what it is. It'll be nice to have that behind me.

In the mean time, if you find yourself awake at 3 am anytime this weekend, think of me and say a prayer, if you would.

Sigh.

Sigh

I had a bad feeling about last night. I couldn't totally put my finger on it, but I think that parents develop a fine tuned sense of the home environment and the level at any given time of their child's volatility in an attempt toward self preservation. I just *knew* that following 2 good nights, Anne was going to give us trouble last night.

12:30 am: I am awakened by the sound of Anne howling.

I close my eyes and pray for it to stop.

It does. For about 3 minutes. Then it starts back up again.

I give it a little time to see if she'll put herself back to sleep and get up to investigate. A peek through her keyhole reveals that she is laying down. When that is the case, she often will go back to sleep on her own. I tiptoe back to bed.

1 am: I am awakened by the sound of Anne howling.

I resolve that I am going to have to stay up for a bit. I go in, pick her up, change her diaper, and rock her for a bit. After a solid 15 minutes of rocking, I can tell that she is nowhere near sleepy. I, on the other hand, have a bladder that is about to burst. I rock for a few more minutes, and attempt a desperate put-down.

As expected, it fails miserably.

Anne begins to scream. I know that I'm going to have to go back to her, but I simply *need* to use the restroom. I hurry about my business, and in the 20 seconds that I am in the bathroom, I hear that sickening sound.

*Loud Thud*

*WAILING!!!!!!!!!!!*

Yep, Anne climbed out of her crib.

I run out of the bathroom and collide with Mike in the hallway. We rush into her room and find her waiting at the door, screaming, ducky blanket tucked under her arm. She's clearly unharmed, but seriously pissed off.

We try more rocking. I desperately take her down to the couch where we can at least lay down, but it gets bloody COLD down there at night and I am not happy. The instant she drifts off I carry her carefully upstairs, where she...

...wakes up and begins crying again.

I bring her into our bed. Several knees and elbows later, Mike offers to take her. He walks her to her room, holds her for approximately 3 minutes, and puts her down in her crib.

*silence*

Yes, our daughter is a master manipulator. She *knows* that she can get away with heart tugging at Mommy that she can't with Daddy. Next thing you knew, she was sound asleep.

*glares*

Too tired to come up with witty title

I mean, I could have called this post "Elbows in my sternum" or "Knees in my diaphragm" but it's too depressing to focus on the endless stretch to which I was awake last night with my daughter (nearly 4 hours, not that I'm counting). It was one of those nights in which I just hit rock bottom. There were tears (mine), there were angry denials of juice, there was much body contorting and tantruming, and overall there was much sleep deprivation.

BUT, we had a nice morning, and I'm trying to focus on the positive. I can't help but amuse myself by thinking what the world would be like if we all never matured and consequently handled being upset or in distress the way toddlers do. For instance, I'm not feeling good at work today. I thus:

(1) Throw my coffee cup at somebody during a meeting;

(2) Refuse to sit down and bow my body over the chair, screaming;

(3) Deliberately refuse to make eye contact with someone who is talking to me;

(4) Interrupt anybody at anytime to demand a snack and some milk; refuse to take no for answer;

(5) Go out into the lobby and cry continually from my perch in a heap on the floor.

It would be interesting.

At any rate, we're focusing on the positive, no? To the extent that I can stay awake to do so, that is. I have belly dance tonight, and I just hope that I can make it through class without collapsing. That is my prayer.

In other news, Mike and I have started re-watching Downton Abbey from Season 1, as we await our pre-ordered Season 3 DVD's from Amazon. They are released in late January every year, and we have found that we prefer to patiently await them rather than watching the episodes as they air.

So each night after our volatile little Anne is safely tucked into her crib for the night, we play a board game with Henry, and await the real fun that is to come. Henry goes to bed. We turn on Downton Abbey.

I just love this show, and the Jimmy Beans Wool Mystery Knit-along is based on my absolute favorite character, Lady Violet. We received our first clue last weekend, and uncovered that we are going to be knitting Lady Violet's Dinner Gauntlets. As we started the first 2 episodes of Downton, I worked on my gauntlets. They feature a lovely "rosebud lace" panel and are going to have a ruched feature with either a ribbon or laces of some kind. We shall see. After I finished clue #1, I moved on to my Lady Edith shawl, which was designed by KnitPurlGurl Karrie, who I mentioned passed away around Thanksgiving. It's just a gorgeous pattern, this is what the finished product will look like:

The yarn that I chose is also a solid spring green. I wanted to knit this in memory of Karrie, and I wanted to use the same color that she did. This works out perfectly with my annual January - May addiction to any and all spring colors. I absolutely love the pattern, well done Karrie! I've never enjoyed knitting a shawl this much. The edging is this beautiful leaf lace, I can't wait to wear it!

And somehow, I'm now knitting *2* Downton Abbey related projects while watching the show.

NERD.

But it makes me happy. And I need something to lift my spirits given the nights that we've been having. Here's hoping for a good weekend.

"What is a week-end?"

I just love her!

Feet in my kidneys - a tale of my night

Today is my anniversary. :) Unfortunately, it's coming at the expense of a miserable stretch with Anne. I will say that yesterday evening was great - she was totally back to normal. We played, we read books, we enjoyed her company. Then she went to bed.

She was up for the first time (you know that's a bad omen when in relation to sleep, a parent uses the phrase "when she woke for the *first* time...") just as I shut my eyes around 10:30 pm. Anne has always had that knack. It doesn't matter that she is not in our room. She apparently has a radar that goes off when mom's eyelids close.

Mike goes in. Finds that Anne has wet through her sleeper. He changes her and strips her crib sheet. Gets her back down. All is well.

For 20 minutes. Then she's awake again. *sighs*

I go in, and I'm in there for what feels like an eternity. I attempted one put down, but as I was arranging her blankie on her, I could see that she was unfolding the cry face, so I just picked her up for another soothe. I was awake anyway, why prolong the agony?

By the time I got her down for good it was about 12:30 am. I get back in bed. I can't sleep.

Perhaps God is smiting me.

I fall asleep about 1 am. Anne is up again at 2:30 am. Then she's up again at 4:30 am. Then she's up for the day at 5 am.

I tried bringing her into bed with us, because I was so desperate, and due to said desperation, I forgot that this NEVER WORKS. The child has never wanted to sleep in our bed. She turns. She kicks. She sits up and exclaims "da da!" when she discovers that we are not alone in the bed. As you might imagine, it went poorly.

All told, I got about 3-4 hours of sleep last night. This does not make for a happy Tiffany. But you know how it goes. Nights that epically bad usually do not repeat themselves the very next night. Usually.

In other depressing news, my new iPod Nano is being insubordinate. Mike got him for me for Christmas because my old iPod (Max) was at full capacity. Plus, I've had him for years and he would frequently freeze up on me while playing. That would terrify me with regard to dance performances in which you simply bring your own iPod and have to play it on whatever dock happens to be at the venue. If the iPod is frozen, no music = no dancey.

My brand new iPod Nano is green, and I've named him John Paul. He's quite adorable. I wasn't sure what to think of his touch screen at first, but I'm getting used to it. He has many features that are far superior to Max, and has double the capacity. I do love him. Except that this newest model of iPods (and apparently iPhones as well, though I don't have one of those) has a new output feature. Instead of the large "plug-in area" if you will, that we all use to connect our iPods to our computers, our iPod docks, etc. the new generation now sports this much smaller output that I think is called a "lightning plug." Or something like that. The old plug is called "30 pin" if I'm not mistaken. What this means is that John Paul will not work with ANY of my equipment without an adapter. Which costs **$40** from Apple.

$40!!

The reviews for the adapters on Amazon are positively scathing, with livid people complaining about Apple robbing them blind. I thought I was rising above the nastiness by searching online and finding a much cheaper generic model somewhere else. I ordered it. It came in yesterday.

Right, it doesn't work.

*insert appalling swear word of your choice here*

I mean, it fits into my iPod, and then it fits into the old plug system, but my accessories (my dock and FM transmitter in my car) do not subsequently play my music and podcasts. And I NEED this thing to play with ANY dock for my dancing. I can't even return this cheap adapter because it would cost me more in postage to do so than to just throw it in the garbage.

Let my experience be a lesson to you, dear reader. Generic adapters for the new Apple devices = NO NO.

With much humility, I just went to Amazon and ordered the $40 real Apple adapter. I'm feeling punchy about it, but from what I'm reading this will in fact work to output my audio. I had a little credit from Amazon coming, so it cost me about $20, but I'm still rather pinchy faced about the whole thing.

At this point, as long as it works, I'll hold my tongue. I should have it next week.

*nostrils flare*

Second Sunday of Advent and all it's adventures...

Well, my weekend was interesting, never a dull moment in my household. Saturday morning dawned with Anne clearly feeling under the weather. In fact, Anne not feeling well dominated both days and nights of our weekend, with the telltale signs being:

(1) lots of sneezing and a runny nose,

(2) a small fever,

(3) poor sleeping,

(4) diminished appetite, and

(5) marauding around the house doing nothing but (a) sobbing, and (b) throwing things.

It was a long weekend, to say the least.

I didn't know if I was even going to make it to Mass Saturday morning for the feast of the Immaculate Conception, she was just so miserable, but she settled enough for me to feel all right about leaving her with Mike (meaning, I didn't feel guilty about leaving him alone to deal with such a painful situation!) so that I could go. I went, and it was lovely.

Later, she actually seemed to perk up a bit, her fever went away, and she was drinking liquids like a champ. Mike wanted to go to the vigil Mass for the second Sunday of Advent, so we packed up both kids and went. Hence, I did end up doing 2 Masses in 1 day. :) But honestly, they felt so different from each other. It also helped that I went to 2 totally different parishes. For the vigil, we went to a historic church downtown that Mike loves. Both children were good, aside from Anne dumping her Ziploc baggie of small snacks onto the floor while we were standing up to recite the Creed. I was picking up stray raisins for the rest of Mass.

But it was really beautiful, and I'm so glad we went. By the overnight, Anne was back to her crankfest. She was a bit hoarse and was obviously feeling parched, because when she demanded my presence at 5 am in her bedroom, our conversation was as follows:

"JUICE."

"Hi Honey, Mommy is here to..."

"JUICE!!!"

"We're going to snuggle and..."

"JUICE JUICE JUICE!!!"

She doesn't like to take no for an answer, that one. I think she is also getting a new tooth, because she's been drooling up a storm. This all led to an absolutely ABYSMAL night last night in which Anne demanded milk, threw herself onto the floor, and cried for what seemed like 30 straight minutes, all *while I'm holding her and trying to soothe her*. It was ugly.

So I'm recovering a bit today. :) She was still on a rampage this morning, so not much has improved in that regard. We'll get there.