Tuesday, July 26, 2011

I really hope that's not the baby stirring over there...

I always keep it real on this blog, and I like to think that the results are at least somewhat entertaining. Life is hard sometimes, and if you can't laugh about it, it really isn't a wonderful life.

So, you know, you have a baby. Afterwards, regardless of your method of delivery, there are certain things that the very thought of resuming scare the living daylights out of you. Like, oh I don't know, going to the bathroom. I think we all know exactly what I'm referring to here. And then there's...what we'll delicately call 'renewing your marriage covenant.' (hereafter RYMC).

I know that all women that have had a baby are with me on this one. This is SCARY. Anne is my second child, so I've learned a few things through the years. For instance, certain things can make the resumation of RYMC a tad less frightful. Wine is one of them. The other is a personal care, um, toiletry? available at your local drug store designed to ease your discomfort.

At any rate, you have your ducks in a row, and the time is upon you. Let's see, what are some of the events that will transpire during this interaction that don't normally present a problem?

(a) you will nurse the baby into a happy coma in silent prayer that she will not wake up for the next little while.

(b) you will move the bassinette across the room with the careful precision of a surgeon so as not to jostle her awake.

(c) you will become extremely paranoid and glance over your spouses's shoulder toward the bassinette as inconspicuously as possible a shameful number of times.

(d) inevitably, you will have to breasfeed the baby back to sleep at an *extremely* inopportune time.

Here's hoping that she will never read this and thus be scarred for life.


  1. I can so relate. All you want is for things to go smoothly, and you're nervous already, and then to top it all off, all you can do is worry about the baby the whole time.

    And then your worries are ALWAYS justified. That baby could be sleeping like the dead, but the second things are getting interesting, they always, always, always, wake up.

    Things did get better though.


Thank you for commenting! I read and appreciate every single one, and I will respond to each one personally!