Monday, April 26, 2010

Being a Catholic housewife

My husband has taken to referring to my headcoverings as my "housewife scarves," which he says with a smile and an eyebrow raise, meaning, that he likes them. Because recently, I noticed that I often reach for them to wear on the weekends around the house instead of just twisting my hair up into a bun or a ponytail, like I usually do. And I have to say, I'm enjoying it quite a bit. My hair has gotten longer recently, and I hated feeling I was always wearing it up, just to get it off of my face. The headbands and shorter scarves allow me to wear my hair down, but keep it back out of my way. I adore them.

And I've come to adore acquiring them on etsy a tad too much. I *llooovvveeee* etsy. I mean, it's my new But whereas I was able to replace my amazon book buying habit with a public library card, I'm still spending real money on etsy. I'm a sucker for handmade items, and etsy is a treasure trove. When Mike commented on my newfound crush recently, I made sure to pipe in that he should be grateful I have such wholesome obsessions - you don't normally see support groups popping up dedicated to those who simply cannot help themselves around crafts, books, rosary beads, and head scarves.

Anyway, I'm still awaiting my 2 new additions from Garlands of Grace, but in the meantime...*guilty smile* I found another headcovering vendor on etsy and I tested the waters. They were only $11! And shipping was next to nothing. I barely spent over $20 for 2 coverings. So you see, I'm really still a very good girl :)

The first is this one, which I wore all weekend:

I like, love it. It ties, so it stays put nicely, and it can act as a short scarf or convert to a headband. My precious multi-purpose head covering; I love you so.

The other one is my first experiment with a longer veil:

I wore it to Mass on Sunday. Word to the wise - if you have a covering with both ties *and* snaps (for a taper in the back), do the snaps first. This caused me no end of consternation and muffled swearing for about 10 minutes. Once I figured the snap thing out, my head covering world improved. I like it real well, but I think I now have a definitive preference with these coverings: my absolute favorites are the shorter scarves, and bonus is they can also act as a headband, because I like headbands too. *Tiffany plots future purchases...* You can see where the problem comes in.

Anyway, I happily wore my pink scarf and did some work out in the yard on Saturday. The Catholic Librarian is planning her summer garden, and as you will be unsurprised to learn, she does this with no small amount of overplanning, overstructuring, and overzealousness. I've gotten both front and back weeded pretty well, but you know how weeding is. Two days later, and somehow a weed has not just started to grow back in, but it's a full-fledged young adult weed with wild hair and a bad attitude. How do they do that?! It's infuriating. And I am a ruthless weeder. I go right for the roots.

"Mommy, look at the pretty yellow flower."

"What?! WHERE?!" *spots offending dandelion* *viciously rips its delicate yellow head off*

"Ok, don't worry. We're ok again."

We have fresh dirt, we just need some topsoil, and we're good to go with some annuals and vegetables. I will report back in.

So then, on Sunday, I have yet another installment in what is a continuing saga for parents: Mass With the Children. Not an easy thing.

Henry has suddenly taken to boycotting Children's Liturgy of the Word, and I have no idea why. He says that he's "scared," but he says it with a smirk, so I know that he's up to something. He's declared that he prefers to sit back in the pew with Mommy at church, where he then drives me nuts for a straight hour. Getting into my purse and breaking things. Pulling my hair. Poking me. Whining. You know, all the good stuff.

I will grant, he's not loud and disruptive. For the most part. Nothing like what I will simply call THE INCIDENT from last November, and leave it at that. Now that he's 4, I set high standards for his behavior at Mass, and for the most part he earns at least a B most Sundays. That's pretty good for a boy that age.

I thought about it, and I think my strategy is going to be to just let the children's liturgy thing go. The more I mention it, the more he takes the opportunity to declare that he doesn't want to go and would rather stay with me in church. I think it's newness has worn off and thus it's not so exciting for him anymore. As well, Henry had inherited my shyness. That may have a lot to do with it. He's still at Mass, and that's what's important. We'll get there.


  1. I guess that I have a lot to look forward to. My husband doesn't go to Mass either. I usually take the baby with me. And usually he's pretty quiet and if he's not, I get the "luxury" of becoming a human pacifier (ie breastfeed him). I go to the Children's Mass which is made up of mostly parents and kids. So having a screaming child around is nothing new to anybody. I guess I'm lucky that way. I've even had a few ladies help me out with the baby when he's a little squirmy and I'm trying to get something out of the diaper bag or take my coat off.

    Anyways...I'm rambling and this is your blog.

  2. I love your comments! And I don't often get many, so leave as many as you like :)

    Anyway, yes, we have the solo parenting thing at Mass in common. My husband does come sometimes, but usually only once per month. I too go to the family Mass, which helps (more sympathetic crowd :) But it's a challenge at every age, I tell ya. And there have been stretches of a month or so where I just didn't bring Henry, because it was just too hard. Like right around age 1. Sometimes they just can't keep still and quiet for an hour, and in order to keep your sanity and avoid a near occasion of sin, you have to leave them home. Nothing wrong with that :)

  3. I've contemplated trying out the nursery. I know that my church has one, but I also am weary of someone that I don't know watching my child. Not because I think that they would harm him (they're fingerprinted and all) but how he react. So far it's been fine, but I imagine when he's older there will be major squirming and whining and crying going on.

    My husband doesn't really go to Mass at all. He went for Easter and he went for the baby's baptism. And he'll go at Christmas but that's it. He's not at all religious. He used to be. He's an oddity. His mother is Catholic and so he was baptized Catholic but raised Baptist and then baptized Baptist. Until the end of high school, he was really devote, but began to question things and hasn't stopped. I give up trying to understand his take on religion. He's extremely fascinated by it, but points out that things like Virgin births were really common stories told around that time etc.

    He lets me be weird though and put pictures of the Virgin of Guadeloupe on our wall so I can't complain too much. It could be much worse. He could totally say that he doesn't want that stuff displayed.

    Thanks for letting me ramble. I need a therapy group for women whose hubby's aren't religious or one for spouses who are religious but their spouse isn't.

  4. yes, this phenomenon of devout Catholic girls with agnostic husbands - we need our own coffee klatch :) My husband is very good about things, too. He's very interested in religion, he just doesn't have a personal faith. He appreciates my faith - he really knows that my faith is such an integral part of who I am. If I stopped believing, I just wouldn't be the same person. And I know that he appreciates that I take my faith so seriously - if you're going to do it, do it right. He feels as frustrated with the cafeteria faith thing as I do :)


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