Encouraging title, no? For your amusement, we have the scene at the home of the Catholic Librarian Sunday morning, approximately 20 minutes before we had to leave for Mass:
"MOMMY! Anne is hiding under the table, and she STINKS!"
Two, indeed, incriminating pieces of evidence.
"All right, I'll investigate, just give me a minute. I'm going through my yarn."
Because we have to have priorities here, people.
"Anne, are you ok, Honey? What's wrong?"
"Nothing, Mommy, I'm fine!"
Three incriminating pieces of evidence.
"Let me get you out of there. Oh yes, you definitely do stink. Do you have to go potty?"
Lies, all lies.
"Let's go into the bathroom and see what's happening, shall we? Let's just get your sleeper off. Oh. Oh dear."
I had suspected that the horse was already out of the gate on this one, but the damage was far worse than I ever imagined. We had a messy poo situation that covered Anne's back, legs and feet. Her sleeper was going to require extensive repair work and her underwear appeared bound straight for the trash. It was THAT bad.
"Ok Honey, let's get these messy things off of you, and then, oh, oh God. There is poo now on the floor. Don't move, Anne! Oh the RUG!! Don't move Sweetie, I need to go get some wipes!!" I leave the poor child standing there naked.
I dash upstairs, which really makes no sense. Why didn't I immediately whisk Anne upstairs to the tub with me? The fumes were obviously affecting my brain power, to be sure.
"I'm coming with the wipes, Sweetheart!"
"Mommy! I HAVE 3 NIPPLES!!"
This statement caused me to stop in my tracks halfway down the stairs. Clearly, my intervention was needed ASAP.
And no, Anne does NOT have 3 nipples, she just doesn't always distinguish between numbers correctly. :0
"Let's get the worst of this off of you Honey, and then get you upstairs for a bath."
Moments later, I'm hoisting a befouled Anne up the stairs and into the tub of running water, which degenerates into a sewer situation in record time. A complete hosing off was needed, poor child.
With only five minutes to spare, we left for Mass, the house ventilation system still recovering from this breach of odor. Life of a Toddler Parent. Never a dull moment. ;-)