Oh the joy. I woke up in a better mood than I did yesterday, but my stress level has unfortunately not abated. I clearly need to be spending more time in front of the Blessed Sacrament.
I had an appointment with my ob/gyn early this morning, and as I suspected, Baby CL has been busy. My body has made discernible progress toward labor. It's not "oh my goodness!" progress, but it's still good progress and it's more than my body had accomplished even at 38.5 weeks with Hank. What does this mean? Well,
(a) it doesn't mean that labor is coming in the next few days. In fact, it doesn't mean that labor is coming even in the next 3 weeks. But it does tell us that my body is preparing more efficiently for labor, and my labor *should* be shorter this go round.
(b) is a good sign that my labor and delivery will be as uncomplicated as last time, although not a guarantee. And
(c) IT'S FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm not ready. And Mike still has finals to take. And the nursery is still a construction zone. And work is nowhere near ready for me to leave yet. And my in-laws are still staying with us. And...I could go on and on. Clearly, I need to be spending more time in front of the Blessed Sacrament.
Since my in-laws' stay is a bit open ended (it all depends on when the moving company can get to them) I've been panicking about dinners. These days, I have zero energy in the evenings after work. It's a miracle I can drag myself home most days. What I've been doing is cooking on the weekends, when I have more energy (not to mention enthusiasm), and then we have 1-2 days of leftovers for the week. The other weekdays, we'll do what I call "ad hoc dinners." Quick spaghetti one night, a frozen skillet meal another, maybe tuna salad the next. Well, with guests, especially my in-laws (wherein I still have this irrational need to prove myself as a good wife and mother) I feel that we can't do this. WE CAN'T SHOW THEM OUR WEAKNESS. If they catch me warming frozen chicken nuggets for Hank while Mike and I eat canned soup and turkey sandwiches, they will know that I am a nefarious interloper, a faker stand-in for a true wife of good virtue. It's kind of my worst nightmare; sort of like those horrible dreams where you walk into a crowded room somewhere wearing only your underpants.
So today, when I called Mike for an update (we're having the nursery carpet installed today, and my in-laws are supposed to be getting a report on the location of the moving van) I pounced on the subject of dinner.
"Have you eaten lunch yet?"
"No, but I was going to have some of that leftover lasagna."
"NO!! Don't eat that! I'm planning to use that for dinner tonight. I can warm some fresh sauce and make a dinner salad, and it should be enough."
"Um, well, I could have a sandwich and soup instead, so that you would have enough lasagna."
*silence while I absorb and translate this information*
"Why would you do that?"
"Well, there are only 3 pieces of lasagna left."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"
*quick pause while Mike realizes that (a) I'm upset about this, yet (b) he doesn't know why I'm upset about this, but (c) he needs to tread lightly to as not to upset me further. Tis the fruits of 6 years of a happy marriage.*
"Well, I didn't eat any, but maybe my dad had some for lunch one day. At any rate, there are only 3 pieces left, but it's ok! We'll figure out something."
"Well, this isn't going to work. *hormones rage* I'll have to stop off at the store on my way home and pick up something."
"If you tell me what you need, I can go to the store. It'll be ok."
Later, Mike IM'ed me to say that he came up with an idea for dinner tonight, and that he was going to the store to pick up just a few things that we need for it. Not only is he also going to make the dinner, but he's also going to pick up a few other things that we can use to toss some chili into the crock pot for tomorrow's dinner. This, my friends, is what a really loving marriage partner is all about. :) There may be other things that are also good, but it's the little things that really matter.
I'm still stressed, but not as insidiously so. The nursery is now carpeted. I am, slowly but surely, getting things done at work. Mike is getting his final school work and exams over with. And the baby is going to come when he/she is going to come. I don't have any control over it, so why fret?