Despite my best intentions, my level of anxiety each day grows. I'm dealing with it ok (well, at least *I* think so), as in I'm not having a nervous breakdown or sobbing uncontrollably in public. That's right, my current standard is public hysteria. However, each day I can feel the heaviness in my heart growing. And I'm at a point in my life now wherein I recognize this for what it really is - depression. I've been struggling with it all week. And part of depression is not being able to help yourself very easily. Exercise really boosts my mental health, and yet each day I can't get myself off of my office chair to go for a walk. The gloominess actually makes my limbs feel heavy.
I can admit the fact that I'm a control-oriented person. That sounds so much better than "a controlling person," doesn't it? And I'm struggling mightily with the fact that other people totally outside of my control are going to screw with my hard earned paycheck and with my family's livelihood. Frankly, it pisses me off. And there's not a darn thing I can do about it.
So, I've been saying a lot of rosaries. This is a good thing. And I've been knitting. Like a maniac. Something about the movement of the needles soothes me, and I've been knitting like there's a whole army out there that desperately needs my prayer shawls lest they perish from exposure. It's been helping.
Thus, today I made the last of any sort of "entertainment/luxury" purchase for the foreseeable future: a set of interchangeable circular knitting needles. I had a 50% off coupon for JoAnn's, and they had the Boye needle set that I had my eye on, thus I paid $35 for a $70 set of needles. I was cackling with joy as I left the store.
I've mentioned the knitting needles phenomena before: for a new project, you purchase the necessary set of needles, yet you go to start another project, and...you need a different set of needles. And this will happen approximately 40 more times, at least. No matter how many needles you have, you will still need a different size/length/type for your next project. It's like a law of knitting.
Finally, my search for 24" circular needles led me to investigate an interchangeable set. For whatever reason, the craft stores don't carry many 24" circular needles. Must not be a popular length. With an interchangeable set, I now have needles in sizes 2-15, in cord sizes 20", 24", 29" and 36". I should never have to buy circular needles again. Of course, I will still inevitably need more straight and double pointed needles, but we won't worry about that right now. For the time being, I've saved some money and assured that I can knit to my heart's content for the next long time without having to buy needles. Yay.
I've got a small stash of yarn that should occupy me for the summer. I'm working on a prayer shawl and a shrug right now. I also have yarn for a sweater, a cardigan, mittens for Mike, a hat, a new scarf for me for the next cold season, gifts for any babies that may be conceived, and several afghans for our house. I'm good.
Also in my arsenal is a full collection of crochet hooks. These are much less of a headache to collect than knitting needles, and I've gone years without needing to buy a hook. I have hooks sized C through N. That's really all I'll ever need. To use crochet thread and make doilys you need these skinny minnie things called steel crochet hooks, but I'm not really a doily kind of girl, so I think I'm good.
That covers the crafting portion of my obsessions. On the rosary front, I found the neatest way to aid me in my quest. I tend to pray the rosary a lot while I'm in the car. So, I pray part of it here, part of it there, and part of it on my way home. There's a seller on etsy that makes these little things called rosary charms, and they're very inexpensive. They're little dangly things with a lobster claw clasp at one end and a Catholic medal on the other. As you're praying, if you are interrupted, you can hook the charm by the bead you left off on so that you can pick back up easily when you resume. I have one, with a St. Benedict medal on it, and I adore it. It's made it so much easier for me to continually pray a rosary throughout the day. Usually, I would fret over making sure I got to the end of a decade before leaving off, so I wouldn't lose track. Because, you know, I'm *crazy*. This way I can leave off wherever and hook on my cute little charm. Voila!
It's the little things these days, you know?