I was sitting here trying to come up the names of the brides from this past Sunday's installment of Bridezillas and I realize that I cannot recall a single one of them. Am I insensitive? Or is reality tv rotting my brain?
Anyway, there was a real winner on this past episode. Whatever the heck her name was. Try to follow this logic:
Reception venue tells her (we'll just call her "Bride) that her next payment is approximately $3,000. She says that the check is in the mail, and based on that, signs a document stating that her remaining balance is $80. Two days before the wedding, Bride goes in to "pay off her bill" and hands the reception people $80 in cash. They tell her that she actually owes them $3,080, because they never received her prior check (which, of course, she never actually sent. She leaves that part out). Bride actually tries to argue that because they both signed the contract stating that her remaining balance was $80, that's all she should have to pay. She just flat out didn't send them the prior $3,000, and then tries to say that it's the *venue's* mistake and thus she shouldn't have to pay it. That takes a lot of nerve. They should have knocked $50 off just given that she could make that argument with a straight face. They ask for a certified check, and Bride refuses, saying that "she doesn't have time for that, I'm planning a wedding." The reception people do her a favor by accepting a personal check, but then they call the bank. *snorts* Yes, this gets good. The bank kindly lets them know that there is no money in the account. Bride gets called into a side room during the rehearsal and informed of the situation. When told that if she doesn't pay NOW, she can't have her wedding there, she acts offended, as if *she* has been wronged. I suppose we have to remember that this *is* a show about women who feel no shame in labeling themselves with a word that ends in "zilla." Classiness isn't exactly their forte.
Later, our bride throws numerous, embarrassing fits of temper. She eats pizza for a straight week and then blames the pizza delivery guy when her dress doesn't fit. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP. Something about how the pizza didn't arrive until after 8 pm, and everyone knows that that is the magic hour after which the pizza will go straight to ones thighs. Oh, to live in her universe. On the day of the wedding, despite it raining all morning, the instant it clears (and about an hour and a half prior to the ceremony, HOURS after the inside venue was already set up and past the deadline on which she needed to let the reception people know if she wanted to move the ceremony outside) she insults her mother, says nasty things to the long suffering reception venue coordinator, and demands to move the ceremony outside.
I just remembered that I also don't recall the name of her new husband (poor soul). They rarely feature a large part in these shenanigans. I'll offer up my crappy day for him.
Stay tuned for next week :)
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