Monday, October 31, 2011

The levels of ranking baby sleep


Now that I'm onto kid #2, I like to think that I've learned something about infant sleep. And that would be that they don't sleep well for about a year. I don't care how many people tell me that their babies "slept through the night" at 8 weeks old. Their baby may sleep from midnight until 5 am without waking. Good for them. Mine does too, sometimes. But I'm talking, you go to bed at a normal hour and wake up sometime after 6 am, and the kid sleeps all that time without waking. That takes about a year.

Right now, we're in the real badlands of infant sleep. Anne goes down nice and early, and can sometimes soothe herself back to sleep if she wakes for an abbreviated period. She *usually* gets up twice between 7 pm and 6 am. But she's starting to teethe, and this my friends, commences many months of misery, I'm here to tell you. Sigh.

And this is the other thing I've learned: just when you think you've got the sleep thing down, Whamo! The baby changes their habits. It'll happen every time.

So, last night as I lay awake at 2:30 am, I contemplated the many levels of rating infant sleep.

There are:

(1) This is the cream of the crop. Your baby is a miracle sleeper!
(2) Baby gets up once per night. This is awesome!
(3) Baby gets up a few times a night and this is very age appropriate. You feel lucky that it's not worse.
(4) There seem to be 1-2 too many wakings and you're a bit cranky about it, but not suicidal.
(5) Your baby refuses to sleep and you're wondering how anybody has more than one child.
(6) WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON?! DO YOU THINK IF WE PUT ON SOME MUSIC SHE'D SLEEP?! DO YOU THINK IF I LET HER LAY ON MY CHEST SHE'D SLEEP?! DO YOU THINK IF WE TOOK TURNS BOUNCING HER UP AND DOWN WHILE HUMMING SHE'D SLEEP?!

Last night was one of those #6's. That's just the way it goes sometimes. But at 2 am last night, Mike and I were both downstairs catatonically watching an infomercial about new stoneware pots and pans while Anne sucked voraciously on a cold teething toy and drooled all over my lap. And the thing was, those pots and pans seemed like a really good deal at that time of the night. If we call now, we'll also get a free sauce pan with a $90 value!

Oh well. Some nights are just bad nights. But tonight is a new night.

The perks of being married...

Obviously, there are many. But this is a big one, in my opinion.

Last night, Mike and I were innocently reading in bed, prior to falling asleep, halos firmly perched on heads. I'm currently reading the Hunger Games trilogy, and was very absorbed in book #2. Since it's a futuristic novel, I thought perhaps my eyes were deceiving at first, projecting a nightmarish, alien bug from the future onto our wall. But no. It actually *was* a flying insect the size of THE PALM OF MY HAND.

I freeze. I blink. I carefully close my book.

"Honey."

"Yes, I see it. I think it's a moth."

A moth? I'VE SEEN BIRDS THAT ARE SMALLER.

"I don't think that's a moth."

While I tell myself to breathe, Mike is getting out of bed and confidently strutting toward the winged offender in his boxer shorts. You can tell that he's very proud to be fulfilling one of the purposes of his vocation.

He climbs up onto my dresser right near my little porcelain statue of Mary, as I pray for him to be careful. I close my eyes for Murderous Attempt #1, which is a fail. The creature flutters over to the wall above my head.

Quickly, I leap out of bed, lest dead bug debris get into my hair and onto my book, which is borrowed from my friend Stacy. Mike makes the hop over to the bed while my breakable holy reminders breathe a sigh of relief. Murderous Attempt #2 is a success.

"I got him! I still think it's a moth." He checks inside the kleenex, yet another aspect of this extermination role of the husband that I just cannot understand.

"I think that was actually related to a dragonfly, which are ALTOGETHER too large."

*shudder*

Friday, October 28, 2011

Premiering new solo tonight...

Tonight is the big night that I'm supposed to show my new solo to my dance instructor. Before we perform them, she always likes to see them first. And I'm telling you, this is more difficult than dancing in front of hundreds of strangers! When you really care about the person's opinion, this is the most nerve wracking type of performance.

I've done this twice only before, so doing a solo is still pretty new to me. I like to think I've improved. I'm more cognizant of making my arms stronger, of smiling, of traveling a bit more, and generally looking less like I'm about to be shot and more like I know what I'm doing and having a great time doing it. But I still have a long way to go. :)

The choreography feels very natural to me this time. The last solo I did I created at the last minute because I was pregnant with Anne and unsure of whether I wanted to put myself on the spot with also doing a solo. And it was a cute dance, but for some reason I had a difficult time remembering it. Something just didn't "click" with it. Perhaps it was pregnancy brain. But at any rate, this one is seamless. I just hope I don't look stupid doing it.

In happy news, our costume designer is apparently sewing his little hands off and is aiming to ship my new costume in time for it to arrive pre-hafla. I'm super excited.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

A new arrival...

*drum roll*

Yesterday, a mere 6 days after I placed the order, I received my new nursing bras from Fig Leaves. Yes, we're going to be talking about underwear again. And so thus, the review. :)

First of all, service. Wonderful! I ordered late Thursday afternoon, and they shipped Friday morning. From that point, it took only 5 days to arrive from the UK. That's impressive. And the package was wrapped very cutely in pretty tissue paper and a sticker with a fig leaf on it.

And the products. I cannot tell you what a welcome reprieve this is from the hideous yet expensive nursing bras I've encountered in regular retails stores. I hurriedly tried them on while Mike gave Anne a bath because I was just so excited.

First, I tried on the plainer of the two, the more practical nude colored bra. I seemed to have straps everywhere, but it was *super* soft and comfortable. LOVE it! I thought the funny straps might be because the bra is British. Then I realized that my strap problem was probably the result of the fact that I had it on inside out. Hey, it's not easy when the thing has no underwire or foam cups, it's not my fault. I blame the fact that I lose more brain cells with each child that I deliver. Anyway, bottom line - I love it.

Then I tried on the fancy blue and red one. CUTE!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, who ever heard of a cute nursing bra?! It's so, so wonderful. I was so busy admiring it in the mirror I lost track of time and Mike needed me to help him get Anne squared away after her bath. I hurried over and I hear Mike say:

"Well, well, well."

So, he liked it too. :) I'm very impressed. I would definitely order with them again, even if it does mean that my debit card will get frozen for fraud protection for a day afterward.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Henry's foray into Catholic School life...

Now that Hank is 2 months into his new adventure at Catholic School, I thought I'd post a progress report. It's been an interesting experiment.

In the beginning, Henry was very, *very* nervous about going to a new school. I even had tears a few mornings when I dropped him off, which broke my heart. And then it was hard to get information out of him at the end of the day as to how everything had gone. I felt good about him being there, but I was worried.

As the weeks went on, I could see him getting a tad more comfortable. And his teacher is *wonderful*. She's a veteran with first graders, and is super warm, kind and very, very Catholic. I knew as soon as I saw her Brown Scapular that I would like her. :)

Pretty soon, the teary mornings stopped. He still asks Mike and I every morning, "will you be thinking about me when I'm at school?" so I know that he's still feeling vulnerable to some extent. But he happily goes off each day and I can see a huge improvement. We had a conference with his teacher last week as well, and she confirmed that Henry has come a long way with relaxing and being happier at school.

He's also thriving academically. Being one of the youngest kids in the class, there are still certain things that don't come easily to him, but whereas in kindergarten we constantly heard about how he was struggling, now we can see him flourishing. He's reading and doing his basic addition and subtraction. He does excellent with spelling and vocabulary. And the school just handles things very seamlessly. There's no big deal made - if the kids need a boost in their subtraction skills, they are simply sent to the math lab for an extra session. This isn't a criticism, but at the public school, everything was much more formalized and structured. And that may be what many people prefer. For us, this works better.

Given how crazy our evenings are, I have to say that I am glad that he does not have to go to CCD separately, which in our parish is on Tuesday or Thursday evenings. It's all integrated right into his Catholic school curriculum. This past Sunday we went to Mass at Hank's school parish (separate from our regular parish; we have a crazy amount of Catholic churches in this area) and as we were walking in, he pointed out a little grotto on the side with a statue of Our Lady of Lourdes and a small bench in front of it.

"Look Mommy. I've been there before during school, to pray."

I mean, it was PRECIOUS. So I like knowing that he's doing those things at school. The only thing I don't like is that I don't really *know* what the religion curriculum is per se. He does come home with religion assignments sometimes, so I can see what they worked on, but that's not more frequent than once every one to two weeks. Yesterday, he brought home an assignment he had worked on (and gotten a 100% on :) ) about God's love and the angels. He had a heaven assignment a few weeks ago. I just wish I knew more of what they were doing because I'm interested.

So, that's that. Even though we're very money conscious these days, and he could go to the public school for free, we both feel that our investment in Hank's education at this school is very worthwhile. It has a very familial feel, and Hank is getting a lot of attention. Everyone there is very, very kind and warm. We all like it, and all signs point to us keeping Henry there, which I'm thrilled about. If that happens, Anne will go there too starting in pre-k.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

"What do you think you're doing, Missy?!"


The other day I watched Anne kick cutely from her play spot on the floor. She flipped over, like she always does, and then suddenly...

she was up ON HER KNEES and ON HER ELBOWS. ROCKING BACK AND FORTH.

This.is.not.happening. I need many, many more months of non-mobility to prepare me for living with a mobile baby again. Because there are few things worse (ok, the sleep thing is worse) than dealing with the mobility phenomena of every waking moment filled with racing over to rescue your child from their latest life threatening calamity. Every.waking.moment. Those are the days that you pray they never drop their second nap.

This is her latest thing and it's making me very nervous. I'm just hoping we can get through Christmas without having to worry about her crawling over and eating an ornament.

On the up side, our sleep situation has stabilized. No, this does not mean that she sleeps through until the morning, nor would I expect her to at this age. She goes to bed at 7 pm, and will sleep until anywhere from 10 pm until 1 am. Usually, she sleeps until 12:30 am. I bring her into bed to nurse, and we both fall asleep for an hour or two. She'll usually wake me again then by rooting ("hey, the all night buffet is still open; suddenly, I'm hungry again!") so I'll let her nurse until she falls sound asleep. Then I pick her up and put her back in her crib. She goes right back to sleep. On a good night, she'll sleep until 6-6:30 am. On a regular night, she'll get up 1 more time, somewhere between 3 and 5 am. Occasionally, she'll fuss for a few minutes and fall back to sleep. More often, I'll bring her back into bed to nurse.

Really, that's pretty good. Getting up twice. I'll take it. And if she gets up between 5 and 6 am and won't go back to sleep, Mike will get up with her and take her downstairs so that I can sleep until 6:30. Yes, I have a wonderful husband.

Her hair has been getting longer lately, and I know I'm biased, but boy is she pretty. :) She gets lots of admiring looks when we're out in stores. I get a lot of comments about her eyes because she has dark brown hair like mine but big blue eyes. I find it fascinating that I have 2 children with blue eyes. I actually think this is a tad unfair, since I should have the dominant genes. :) But really, their eyes are lovely. I must have a recessive little b gene in there, obviously.

She's super precious these days.

Monday, October 24, 2011

And so, our lives change again...

...and so the story goes. :) I've written before about how miserable Mike's new engineering job was. He was working long hours, and from day to day, we never knew what his schedule would even be. He would only find out the evening prior what his start time was the next day, and late in the afternoon what time he could leave. That just didn't work for us with 2 small kids. His job also required a lot of driving to different construction sites and he arrived home each day covered with mud and other greasy substances and with a lot of additional mileage on his car. It just wasn't what we had anticipated. He applied for some other engineering positions, and was interviewed for one, but didn't end up getting the job.

We did a lot of talking about it, and 2 weeks ago he put his notice in. As of this morning, he's home full time with Anne. He's also dropping off and picking up Henry from school, doing all of the household cleaning and starting dinner each night. I'm pretty sure I have the easier job in all this. :) He teaches a philosophy course one evening per week right now at a local Catholic college, and in the spring will teach 2 courses. Between that and what we're saving in daycare/after school care costs, our monthly net income isn't down for a number large enough to affect us too terribly much. He's also applying for some additional sections to teach this spring. And ultimately, we'd like for him to pursue getting his state teaching credentials in math, and he could teach middle school/high school. We think that that would provide him with the job satisfaction and lifestyle that is conducive to our close family life.

Even though this is another large change, I feel peaceful about it. The one thing that has been a constant in Mike's professional life is teaching. He's always done it, and loved it. We just chose for him not to pursue a tenure-track college level position because it would entail us moving, and we don't want to move. So, I think that we've come to a good solution.

This morning, he was cutely excited about being home with Anne. I was able to breathe this morning and not rush around like a maniac trying to get ready for work while fielding both children. And I got an extra nursing session in with Anne while Mike took Hank to school. When he got home, I was just putting her down for her morning nap. Everything just worked so much better.

So, we'll see where this newest development takes us. But so far, we're feeling pretty good about it.

Friday, October 21, 2011

I guess this is the punishment inflicted....

...by my ugly nursing bra for bad mouthing it, unceremoniously replacing it, and making cackling plans to burn it as soon as the new ones arrive.

Yesterday, I took Hank to his semi annual appointment with the allergist. What on earth does this have to do with bras you ask? I'm getting there. This is what my husband calls a "Tiffany story" since it starts out seemingly having nothing to do with the topic at hand, will be way too long and contain far too many extraneous details, but in the end, it all ties together.

Ok, where was I? The allergist. So, I go to pay my co-pay. I hand the receptionist my debit card. She goes to the machine and by the way it's taking way too long I know that something is amiss. She comes back with a furrowed brow.

"Um, the card machine is giving me an error message. We had this happen to a patient a few weeks ago, and she later told us that it had to do with someone trying to steal from her account."

Hum. Well, I'm probably too complacent, but I wasn't so much worried about that. She gave me a ton of unnecessary details about what the error message said, and I concluded that it sounded like they didn't put in the authorization 3 digit code when it was needed. I also know that my card is old and the strip doesn't always work these days, I'm due to get a new one shortly. So I filed it away under "Don't Worry About This." I was more worried about how I was going to pay the co-pay, since we don't have credit cards and I didn't have enough cash on me.

Anyway, after that was squared away, I was focused on Henry and the allergist. Everything went fine, and upon arrival home, I see that we have a message on our answering machine.

"Hello, this is XYZ Bank Fraud Department and we need you to call us back..."

Oh crap.

I jotted down the investigation number and called back immediately. I was transferred to a man speaking heavily accented English who asked me a series of security questions. Apparently I answered them correctly, because he launched into the point at hand.

"We're concerned about a purchase charged this morning for $47 from a company based in London selling, um (I could tell he was desperately searching for the most polite word possible) ladies *apparel*. Called Fig Leaves."

"Yes, that's a legitimate purchase." I'm thinking the UK thing is what put the red flag up.

"Ah, ok. Oh, I see also on here a very large purchase for $770."

"Yes, the car repair shop. Unfortunately, that is also a legitimate purchase." *sighs*

He seemed to appreciate my attempt at levity and chirpily told me that my card would be reactivated within 2 minutes.

So, all is well that ends well. But I did get a chuckle out of how my little bra purchase caused some panic at the bank...

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Success!

Yesterday, as I tucked in my ugly bra straps for the 20th time, I decided that I'd had enough. I'M DONE WITH YOU, YOU EVIL UGLY BRA.

So my knitting friends and I had a lengthy discussion about bras over lunch (yes, this is what happens when women get to talking), and armed with a few suggestions of places to look, I headed excitedly back to my computer. And I found THE MECCA.

I checked out a site called Fig Leaves. It's a UK based lingerie company. They carry bras in sizes that you cannot find in regular retail stores, so women who wear cup sizes larger than a D, and/or have a small back size will find a wonderful selection here. They also carry bras for women who have had a mastectomy. But guess what else they have? A special maternity/nursing section with PRETTY BRAS. PRETTY!!! I mean, nursing bras in colors other than white and black. Pink, purple, I was nearly delirious with excitement and anticipation.

As you can imagine, some of them are a bit spendy. But honestly, they are not more expensive than the ugly ones I got at my local lactation center after I had Hank. They are about on par with those. And they're infinitely more attractive. AND, they had a pretty good selection of sale bras. Despite their being based in the UK, shipping to the US is a very reasonable $4.95. I was sold.

I ended up selecting a very practical nude colored bra for $15. Yes, $15! And it apparently won some kind of parenting magazine award for comfort and ease of use. It has thin, widely spaces straps, no underwire, padded cups, and looks more than halfway decent. And in the exciting news of the afternoon, I ordered a NAVY AND WHITE POLKA DOT WITH RED RIBBON bra as my second selection. That was my splurge, but it was on sale for only $27. With the sale bras, you have to be sure they have your size. I *really* wanted the pink and white polka dots, but they were out of my size, and the purple and white polka dots was full price at $39. Honestly, that's still not THAT bad, since like I mentioned, it's comparable to Miss Ugly that lives in my underwear drawer. But I liked the navy one just as well, so I went with the cheaper price tag. And it came with a free pair of matching underwear.

The whole shebang, with shipping, came to $47. I'm super thrilled. I placed the order late yesterday afternoon, and it's already shipped. I cannot wait for them to get here. And yes, I'll post an update about how I like them after they arrive. :)

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The foibles of nursing mothers

I won't belabor, but I figured enough women out there would relate to this that I'd dedicate a short post to it. That's what this blog is all about. :) Serving up Too Much Information on a regular basis...

Anyway, today's installment is devoted to my undergarments. You see, when I nursed Henry (for over a year) I had a major problem with clogged milk ducts. Nothing makes you feel like a dairy cow more than thinking about ones "milk ducts", believe me. It's very unpleasant, and it HURTS like a very, very bad word. You get a very tender, hard spot and nothing relieves it except for the baby nursing and clearing it. I had *dozens* of clogged ducts when nursing Henry, and the pump only cleared them 1 time. The others, I had to wait it out until I got home to nurse him.

At first I thought it was related to my milk supply changing when I returned to work after delivering Henry (and consequently pumping), but eventually the lactation consultant I met with told me that it was my bra. You see, I am very uncomfortable wearing a bra with no underwire. Let's just say that I'm not the most endowed of all women, and that I like a little liftage support, ok? B cup bras just look ridiculous with no underwire.

And so I was wearing nursing bras with underwires. The lactation consultant tsked me with a furrowed brow. Apparently underwire can cause clogged ducts, and I had to replace my nursing bras right away.

As if I didn't already *hate* nursing bras. I do, I really hate them. I'm going to just say it: they're ugly. Just because we're nursing a baby doesn't mean we want to feel unappealing and undesirable. I really think Victoria's Secret needs to make nursing bras. Maybe we'd like our husbands to think of something other than the functional aspect of that part of our anatomy when they look at us, kwim?

So anyway, I crankily bought 2 nursing bras sans underwire, one nude and one black, and although they fit well, I still hated them. AND the clogged ducts persisted, although not quite as frequently. It was a real problem until I weaned Henry.

Now, with Anne, everything is totally different. 5 months and nary a clog to behold. So, I got complacent.

Yesterday, I wore a regular bra. Sweet, sweet regular bra! My nursing bras just have such thick straps that they're always showing and I couldn't take it anymore. In my regular bra, I had nice thin straps that stayed inside my shirt, I didn't have to worry about my (sorry, I have to say it) nipples showing through without those shifty little breast pads stuffed in there, I had just 2 dainty hooks to worry about in the back, and the whole shebang was attractive and delicate. I just figured I'd arrange it craftily when I went to pump, no worries.

Until the later part of the afternoon. After I pumped for the second time, I ran to the ATM to get some cash. My arm bumped against my side when I walked, and I thought,

"Ouch. Gee, that hurt."

I was in denial, so I let it go. Suddenly, I noticed that that side hurt even when nothing was touching it.

"Gosh, something sure feels tender on that side."

Pretty soon I was discreetly trying to feel myself up as I walked.

"Crap."

The verdict was in. I had a clogged duct. No more regular bras for me. :(

I had to suffer until I got both kids home whereupon I nursed Anne immediately on that side. The clog was gone in minutes.

So I think I have to break down and spend yet more money on something I hate, but it has to be done. I see that Walmart.com has some for a cheap price. *frowny face* The ones I have just aren't working. I want something less conspicuous (thinner straps) and it would be nice if they had actual cups that aren't paper thin. Does anybody have any recommendations that won't cost a fortune?