From 2 children to 3: Adventures in Going Out to Eat

Yesterday evening we borrowed a child :0 and treated everyone to dinner out at a local pizza place. We had our 2 kids, plus Henry's friend Matthew. This particular restaurant has a "Kids Eat Free" special on Mondays, and though I know they're not obliged to offer any special at all, this one is a bit limited. 1 child eats free per adult, with a cap of *2*. Not a fan of big families at this particular pizza joint, apparently. :0

So off we headed, with our temporarily larger family. Things I noticed about toting along the 3 children, rather than 2:

(1) Zone Defense, rather than Man to Man: Somebody always has to have an eye on multiple children. Like for instance, during the several bathroom trips that Anne is certain to demand, the first of which will be the instant we walk into the door of a new place:

"Do they have a bathroom here?!"

How I long to say no... But alas. Mike stayed with the boys while I toted her to the ladies room. Which brings me to an aside: when Henry was littler, we used to take turns bringing him to the bathroom with us. With Anne, that does not happen, and I suspect that it's because we both secretly find the Men's Room to be a terrifying place. What does it smell like in there?! I don't want my impressionable 3 year old to have to find out. #scary

(2) Boys are Handsy: I don't know if that's really a word, but there you have it. Boys, when they get together, are so physical with each other. Lots of wrestling and tackling. Tons of thumping noises coming from upstairs as they leap over each other while they reenact some army scene.

"No more headlocks until we get back home ok?!"

(3) Boys Tease Girls: UGGGHHHH...We spent two full car rides with the boys ganging up to mercilessly tease Anne. Bathroom humor is inevitably invoked. #goodheavens

(4) Boys Try to Impress Each Other: We had a chocolate milk drinking contest that resulted in a round of waters being forced upon everyone before the food even came. They were unamused.

(5) Tiffany Gets Very Anxious About Minding Other People's Children and Worries Until They Are Safely Back Home Again: I don't know what I'm afraid is going to happen, but it's like when you have to take a doll home for your home economics class in 8th grade to pretend it's a real baby, and I leave it out on the back porch for 12 hours because my mind wandered. I worry that I'm going to screw up and something terrible will befall the poor child and then everyone will know that I'm secretly the worst mother in the history of the universe. So I found myself attempting to calm my nerves early on in the dinner process:

"Would you like a beer or wine list?"

"Oh, yes please."

"Beer list? Or wine list?"

"What? Sorry, I was distracted by my daughter trying to climb the dessert case. BOTH."

We had a good time, but indeed, I was relieved to get home with 3 happily full and content children...