Friday, January 10, 2020

Is it time for a change?

So, I've been going through some stuff. Nothing serious, but I've been under some stress since this past fall. Mostly, it's related to my kids, and the anxiety I've been experiencing from the changes in their lives as they both get older. Having my son start high school has been the greatest crisis in my life as a parent since dealing with epic sleep deprivation, postpartum depression, and temper tantrums from the infant and toddler years. I'm prone to anxiety by nature, and this ramped it up to a degree that for the first time, I've sought out a licensed therapist to help me to cope with it all better. That's a good thing, and it's helping, and I'm grateful for that. Overall though, I've noticed something about myself: my sense of self is much more defined than it's ever been, and my perspectives have shifted a bit. That comes from age and experience, I suppose. But I'm much more aware now of the things and people in my life that I treasure, and simultaneously I'm also much more aware of my own mortality. My birthday is coming up next moth, and well, YOU KNOW. I'm pretty sure this is the very definition of a midlife crisis. :-0

I have this increased sense of carpe diem, like now is the time to really savor my relationships and experiences, and really challenge myself within the hobbies and avocations that I enjoy. That's all good stuff, what I worry about is this deeper sense within me of: "But what is it all for? What is the ultimate purpose of pursuing this?"

Now granted, some of those are easy. Spirituality-wise, I know what the goal is, and am always working on that. Check. Relationships are the same. We want loving, happy, healthy relationships for obvious reasons. But other stuff is tougher. Dancing is my greatest creative endeavor, and I'm definitely going through a Midlife Dance Crisis. ;-) What do I want from dance, ultimately? Am I achieving that? Honestly, I don't know.

The other thing is this blog. I've been writing here, and sharing with you, for a long time, over 10 years now. And...why am I doing it? I was struck recently that blogging isn't exactly the "in thing" anymore. I've always written because I enjoy it (same goes for dancing, truly), and that's reason enough, to be sure. But midlife crises involve DEEP PURPOSES, know what I'm sayin'? Some weeks it's a challenge to come up with an idea for a post. And our community is small (but mighty!) so I do wonder to myself if it's time to try something new. Is blogging really the best way to achieve my goal to write for enjoyment anymore?

Another reason that I started this blog was to share my faith. I still enjoy doing that quite a bit. I write for Catholic Mom on a monthly basis, and I have to admit that I love writing those pieces because it's only every 30 days. Each one feels like a fresh new opportunity to share something interesting about my faith life because it's been a whole month since I last penned one. I write multiple Gospel Reflections for them each year too, and adore working on those, because they really challenge me to dig into the scriptures and discern how they apply in my own life. I also love the Facebook group related to this blog that I manage. Our weekly prayer threads, posts on interesting Catholic gifts or stories, the novenas, LOVE that stuff. Because it's low key and spontaneous, and also because there's a fuller sense of community there. I also truly enjoyed writing my book in the scripture study series put together by my friend Allison, because I had the opportunity to collaborate with a duet of lovely women and really extend myself creatively in the process. So I share my faith in these other ways, and wish to continue doing so.

So what does this all mean in terms of this blog? I don't know, lol! I would love to hear from YOU. Do you still find it meaningful to follow this blog and read my posts on a regular basis? I write about an eclectic mix of topics: religious faith; crafts; family; fitness; belly dancing; books and podcasts; random weird stuff that happens to me. I mean...:-0 What do you think?!

I don't really have any notion of alternatives. Perhaps a change of style, in which this were a website with a blog feature that I update when inspired? A website that is curated with ways to easily navigate into posts on the varied topics that I tend to write about?

I'm all ears. But I do feel like this blog needs some TLC. I think I've been going through the motions with it for quite some time because I'm very commitment oriented, and I'm also quite averse to change. This blog has always treated me well, and I'd hate to give it up. It's definitely one of my babies, and I love the people I've met through it (you!). But it doesn't feel right to keep doing something the exact same way just because that's the way you've always done it, especially when the platform doesn't feel as inspired as it used to.

All thoughts quite welcome in the comments! :-)


  1. Of course, ultimately, this is your decision. Like everything else, maintaining a blog takes up valuable time. But I would like you to know that even though I don't comment much or get around to it regularly, I do enjoy reading your blog. I relate to most of your experiences (esp since my daughter is just a year older than your H) and it's nice to know that "it's just not me," lol. So, regardless of what you decide, thank you for sharing your part of your life.

    1. Kity, thank you SO much for taking the time to leave this comment! It's definitely hard for me to get a sense of scope of readership. Statistics don't really tell the whole tale, you know? It's the personal connections that really make things meaningful, and I totally understand that sometimes people read and very much enjoy without feeling compelled to leave comments. This one lets me know you're there, though, and that means a LOT! Thank you again! *hugs*

    2. PS... I'm on your FB group too 🤗

  2. Tiffany, I enjoy your blog. I understand that you are indecisive concerning the blog. I do understand if you want to eliminate the blog. I know it does seem like there is never enough time in the day to accomplish everything..

    1. Thank you, Marilyn! You are such a faithful follower of my work, and I truly appreciate it! I'm thinking that I'm going to keep it around, but maybe just freshen it up a bit. :-)

  3. I will agree with Kity here, it is your decision. I do read your entries as often as I can thanks to Feedly. I do not comment often because honestly I have sense of anxiety that whatever I write will become some type of war of words.

    Early this month, I made the decision to try to write again. It has always been a call I felt, but worried that because of my lack of being taught well grammar and spelling that it would hinder me. Also, I worried that readership would not be there due to lack of interest. (I am one who is insecure.)

    Whatever you decide those of us who read your work, follow you through social media, etc. will in turn follow and support through the medium you chose that suits best for you now.

    I will say extra intentions to you my Sister in Christ.
    God Bless,

    1. Hi Nikita! Thank you SO MUCH for your prayers (that means everything to me!) and for your comment! I can totally understand hesitation with leaving comments online, because I've certainly seen the types of things that you're referring to. That's never happened here, happily, but I completely get it because it's certainly a pervasive thing in our current online environment. I moderate all comments, so anything unpleasant would never see the light of day, hee hee! I figure, this is my space, and I deem that it will be soothing and supportive of my community. :-) Very glad that you're a reader here!


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