Friday, September 20, 2019

"The horse is out of the barn at this point. sweetie." Adventures in an epic amount of nervous energy...

My husband is loving, but very practical. ;-) And he's right. As I write this, it's Thursday. The dance competition finals are Saturday afternoon. I've prepared, I've reheared, I've fine tuned. I've practiced everything from technique to fluid arms and hands to projecting emotion with my face. And honestly, this is the biggest benefit of participating in a competition: it's not the results, it's the preparation. I suppose one enters a competition partially because they would like some recognition that their efforts have paid off and that they are good at what they do; but it's mostly because you care so deeply about your art and know that to continue to grow, you need to challenge yourself and make yourself vulnerable. And indeed, I feel very vulnerable right now. :-0

I will continue to rehearse over the next 2 days, but it's pretty much a done deal at this point. It is what it is, and it showcases the best that I'm capable of at this point of my journey. There's no use mentally comparing myself to the other dancers, because I cannot change any of that. They're all going to be really talented, and I need to just focus on myself. Tough to do, but necessary. I actually expected this week to be much more difficult mentally than it has turned out to be. Because although the thought of the unease I'll face on Saturday is certainly present in my mind, it has not consumed me. My piece is done, I think that's what is soothing me. It's completely done, there are no arms/weird things left that have been bugging me and I want to change. It's finished, and I'm resting easy in that. It is what it is, and I hope that the audience enjoys it!

So anyway, that's pretty much all that's on my mind right now. πŸ˜‚And I am *definitely* looking forward to my post-competition life in which I think of other things in terms of my creative realm! Even within dancing, I've been fixated on this piece for so long, I can hardly hear the music anymore without inwardly groaning. :-0 It's time to move on to other things! I have some awesome dance plans for later this fall and winter that I cannot wait for! 😍

Coming up, I'll certainly report in on the competition experience next week. After that, as we move into October, I have some Fall into the Season Catholic plans as we gear up for the end of the liturgical year. ;-) Stay tuned!

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