Wednesday, March 20, 2019

A Tale of Two Toothbrushes - a study in marital trust...

Last night in the home of the Catholic Librarian...

*brushes teeth*

*pops cute purple toothbrush back into holder. Notes that there are suddenly 2 identical blue toothbrushes also present*

*retreats back to bedroom*

"Honey, didn't you notice that you and Henry both picked the exact same blue toothbrush when you replaced yours recently?"

This toothbrush coloration issue has been vexing us for quite some time. When we're at the dentist every 6 months, she gives us each a free toothbrush. And for literally years, they have all been exactly alike and exactly the same color - blue. When I inquired about this once, she apologetically told me that she had called the company that provides the toothbrushes to ask about this very issue - didn't they make other colors anymore? Because if you live in a dwelling with at least one other person, you want to be able to distinguish between your brushes. And the company had replied something about trying to be more consistent in their color choice? This doesn't really make any sense to me when we're talking about toothbrushes? :-0 You don't want toothbrushes to be consistent, you want them to be different! And I realize that we should be supplementing the free toothbrush supply with toothbrushes that we buy in other colors, but we don't remember to do this all that often, and so it's a constant balancing act with assuring that everyone has a unique toothbrush from what is available in our supply cabinet at any one time. I had only gotten my purple one by begging the dentist to prowl through through the toothbrush drawer in a desperate hunt for something that wasn't blue.

Anyway, back to the quandary of Mike and Henry having identical toothbrushes.

"So one of you is going to have to put tape on yours or something."

"My toothbrush isn't blue. I've been using the same purple toothbrush for the past few months."


I tried to keep the horror I was feeling out of my expression as I replied: "But MY toothbrush is purple. I've been using a purple toothbrush for the past few months. In fact, it's been such an amount of time that I was thinking it was time to replace it."

I look at him with my nostrils flared, and he looks back at me impassively. He doesn't seem nearly as bothered by this disturbing discovery as I am.

So here's the thing: obviously, I...SHARE THINGS with my husband. You know. THOSE THINGS. I also kiss him on the lips all the time. So why should using the same toothbrush as him be something that causes me to recoil in alarm? I don't know, but there you have it.

"Well, I don't know, but I've definitely been using a purple toothbrush since January. The two blue ones must be the kids'."

I worked to steady my breathing as I made my way back to the bathroom. I flicked on the light and braced myself to confirm the truth. There were the two blue brushes. There was my adorable dark purple number. And there...was a white toothbrush with a lavender stripe. The sigh of relief that I let out left me weak in the knees.

"Honey, we're good." I was breathless from my exciting revelation and jog back from the bathroom. "Your toothbrush is white and just has a light purple middle, whereas mine is all purple. We haven't been using the same one."

He looked confused as to how these both weren't just "purple," and also bemused that this had caused me so much stress.

We can go on being happily married once again. We are using separate toothbrushes. That was a close one.



  1. HA! I don't blame'd think dentists often have entire families that everyone in the house goes to the same dentist...and they all go in at once and they give out the toothbrushes. It doesn't seem too complicated to find a supplier that will give out multiple colors.

    1. Right? It used to be fine, it's just been the past 2 years or so!


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